... and again, you fail to consider the choices that the God idea you worship had to have made. It isn't about my choices. It is about the decision tree required to construct your milieu.
You ignore all sorts of common sense, and what your reason tells you, so you can continue to believe yourself a good person, which I am confident you are.
Because you are a good person though, you have to kluge when it comes to the rationalizations, for the simple reason of reducing cognitive dissonance. You can't answer simple questions truthfully here. You choose to ignore them and dissemble. Good people don't worship evil things. Those two ideas (good person and worship something evil) are generally mutually exclusive. Is mental anguish harmful? Is it evil to hack children to death?
Your choice is to ignore the gun pointed at your head, so you can convince yourself that the thing pointing it at you is worth worshipping, without considering the choice it made to hold the gun.
The decision to hold the gun is still a choice. God's choice.