So I'm going to give this a shot. Mr. Biggles, my creetiv creative writing teacher at PC told me I need to start writing every day. Poum, stories, thoughts. Said the more I write, the better it gets.
Mamma always said that you gots to put in teh work to enjoy the frutes of success.
Poum 1 by Stan
The Monkey and the Hippo
The monkey in the tree looked down on the ground
to see 2 hippos walking on the ground
one hippo went away to play for the day
and the other hippo was sad
and the monkey felt bad
The monkey dropped down and sat on the ground
and said to the female hippo what's wrong with you bae?
The hippo needed things to be done
and the monkey thought it would be fun
They talked alot and the monkey did thought
that he might like this hippo more than a lot
Then the male hippo returned and theft
so the monkey he left
but he wanted to return to the female hippo
later because he said so
it's kind of like Flags of Our Fathers/Letters from Iwo Jima.
Or maybe the Summer Nights song from Grease.
Two perspectives from the same event.
IMO
What do you think about Stan’s poum Larry?
Share My Love by Stan
See you baby and it makes me pain
See you baby with gravy stains
See you baby we could have it made
Me and you baby in an Escalade
Wish I could have the balls to say
to you what I want to do today
You love another man
But I wish it was me Stan
But it's not but i think you like me
I want to see you when you go pee
Because I think I could love you
But like Romeyo and Julie Ett
Our love can't happen yet
Do I need to make this done
and go and get my gun
and get rid of that man who makes you no fun
Then we can make that love run
Get us an Escolade
and we have it made
by Stan
Perfect fit
Stan worked the streets down around BILLINGS AVE in Harlem, he had a small but loyal following..............
Come on Stan let's see whatcha got, do something with that and then I'll show ya how it's done.
All that above was stupid.
Last edited by Avant; 05-21-2019 at 11:43 PM.
White Angel
Are you will be my White Angel?
I want you to be my baby
but I don't know how to say too you
what it is I want to do
You've seen my thing
and I want to see yours
Can I watch you when you pee?
I see you in your window at night
You look so sad and a lone.
I want to jump in the window
And let you hold my bone
White angel I love you so much
and we can meet and hunch
and then I would take you out to lunch
and buy you things a bunch
That was 100% garbage.
Watch and learn.
You are my white angel
that is plain to see
you arrived from Heaven
just to be with me
you bring your love
as only an Angel can do
so righteous
so true
I see you at night
when you are all alone
obviously thinking of me
and my long black bone
my White Angel
what more can I say
without your love
I'd just as soon
dry up and blow away
Rookies sheesh~~~~~~~~~~~
You don’t understand getting in character do you dip ? The poems are clearly falling in line with what the black Stan character has been built to be. Show some range you sick pedo
Steal yo - By Stan
You don't no how to treat yo woman
I'm gonna steal yo
I see those bruises on her face
I'm gonna steal yo
We kinda friends
But I'm gonna steal yo
and she'll be happy when she's with me
we'll go out to eat all the time
I'm gonna steal yo
And it won't even be stealing
Because she's will leave you
And be happy with me, Stan
Stan doesn't waste time rhyming when he gets pissed
God... you are perfectly awful.
Who Peepin
Who that peepin in yo bedroom window
Who that creepin in the bushes yo
You all alone
Is you husband home
Or is he messin round on that computer yo
Wake up and see who that is creepin
and look into those eyes that be peepin
Who that wanna make love you
It's me, Stan
probably my personal favorite so far
dear diary >>
I’m quite sure that we’ll see Stan evolve as a writer and wouldn’t be surprised if he branches out and begins to feel comfortable with sharing his feelings through personal thoughts.
He’s only just now enrolled in creative writing at the local community college. We know this from his first entry.
Stan's come a long way.
Had to step up his game for Judy
Stan goes in and out of his prose.
Good with contractions, which Stan would not use. Stan would say "you had" instead of "you've",
That "see you at night when you are alone" part is creepy. If she's alone, where the are you watching from? Why do I get the feeling "white angel" is 11 years old?
He’s in a creative writing class. I don’t think you can judge his ability based on what is surely a transitional period for him. Especially since he clearly gets emotional when writing. I give him a pass on his inconsistency and write it off as him simply trying to find his voice.
Dude, you have...0...talent, that was simply re ed.
Edgar Allan Yoe
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)