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Lahbstah
Lobster Thief Steals Truck, Crashes into Second Lobster Truck
If someone says, "It's probably the most Boston thing that's ever happened," what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Personally, I'm imagining Ben Affleck getting hit in the head with a Sam Adams bottle outside a Red Sox game. But no, you've already read the headline: The previous quote comes courtesy of an employee at a lobster wholesaler after a lobster theft led to a high-speed chase and the eventual collision of two lobster trucks. (Ben Affleck is seemingly unharmed.)
Just after midnight early on Tuesday morning, a thief jumped into a truck loaded with about $10,000 worth of the tasty crustaceans from the wholesaler Buy New England Lobsters and tried to drive off—likely one of the most brazen lobster robberies this side of reaching into the tank at Red Lobster. Many people might have simply said "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and let the 29-year-old suspect drive off—but this is Boston, where you don't mess with a man's lobsters. So, as a police report states, "Several employees of the lobster company gave chase in a second box truck and caught up with the suspect on Medford Street near Main Street. The suspect refused to stop but instead deliberately crashed the stolen truck into the second box truck. The employees of the lobster company were able to detain the suspect until police arrived on scene."
"It was a very Boston experience for everyone involved," Peter Lagorio, sales and marketing manager for Buy New England Lobsters, told Boston Magazine, further emphasizing his earlier "most Boston thing" ever quote.
Meanwhile, the Boston Police Department wrote, "The suspect was placed under arrest and was charged with Receiving Stolen Motor Vehicle, Operating after Revocation/Suspension, Assault and Battery by Means of a Dangerous Weapon and Threats to Commit Harm." Oddly, "Grand Theft Lobster" wasn't one of the charges: Apparently, even in Boston, that isn't really a thing.
https://www.tdi.texas.gov/pubs/pc/pccpfme1.html
Lahbstah
He pahked his cah at Hahvad Yahd.
he probably spied on the original truck driver and deflated his wheels before he stole the truck tbh
Did he spill his Dahnkin' Donenahts cawfee? Good fahkin' cawfee, wicked pissah that he spilled it.
First funny thing you've ever written.
Sorry. ing your mom every day really dulls my sense of humor.
Tell yourself whatever makes you feel good, sicko.
Ryan Fitzpatrick tearing the entire state of Massachusetts a new asshole
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