https://www.theonion.com/tearful-uva...-pa-1848982023
Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman
UVALDE, TX—In an expression of gra ude for keeping the community’s beloved stretch of asphalt safe, tearful Uvalde residents thanked law enforcement Thursday for protecting Robb Elementary School’s parking lot from a gunman. “To the brave officers who heroically stood outside the school to defend this pavement against attack, we offer our undying thanks,” said Uvalde native Jim Clabor, his eyes welling up with emotion as he recalled the innocent Toyotas and Fords whose bodies might have been struck by gunfire if not for the courageous actions of police. “The only reason this beautiful blacktop surface emerged intact from the shooter’s rampage is because these officers rose to the occasion and refused to let anything happen to our precious parking lot. We are blessed that every 9-foot-wide space survived Tuesday’s massacre, allowing future generations to park their cars here without fear.” At press time, Texas schools were reportedly increasing the security presence in their parking lots, staffing them with officers sworn to take a bullet for the pavement if necessary.
Gun Stores See 7000% Increase In Customers Looking For Totally Awesome Gun That Blows The Lungs Out Of Bad Guys
U.S.—Gun stores across America have seen a major increase in interest as customers flock to their stores to find the "totally awesome gun that blows the lungs out of bad guys." The gun, which doesn't exist, has inadvertently boosted the sale of 9mm handguns.
https://babylonbee.com/news/gun-stor...ut-of-bad-guys
I was wondering where you got your #OneJoke from the past week...
You've been thinking about me hahahaha
fify
But you forgot the part of not being able to identify the kids after gunman was through shooting.
Hard not to notice when it's so ubiquitous, but yeah, you've put in hours of work and someone noticed you.
Big achievement! Life complete!
16k posts in 14 years...it's ubiquitous
Did you see my 38 Special advice to SR21?
Arkansas and Oklahoma should run tourist ads “our men are men” lol
Cute pup thank Jesus he was saved by an onlooker. Did he find a fur-ever home?
Man Who Drowned in Front of Police Was 'Pillar of Homeless Community'. "He was a thinker, always had something thought-provoking to say," Orionya Jensen, who knew Bickings for years . Tempe's finest, too bad he couldn't swim.
How many in the past week?
DPS Director Steve McCraw says officers in Uvalde could have taken down gunman within 3 minutes had commander not hesitated
https://www.texastribune.org/2022/06...hool-shooting/
14 years of this nonsense lmao how embarrassing
Then you might run there instead, hoping to get laid.
Gravy boat sounds like an 8 year old.
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