Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 79
  1. #1
    Make a trade steal
    Location
    Waterbury CT
    Post Count
    10,713
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    It was difficult to get any type of relationship with a girl until age 39 for me.

    Struck out always. Had low confidence and bad game and was picky. Hit the gym hard but that made no difference if you don't have experience and game.

    I wanted only really attractive girls so settled for nothing as those girls had better options. Wasted many years, good young years with nothing.

  2. #2
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    Yeah going alone as a guy to the gym is not a place to meet girls. Seems like an idea on the surface, but when you think about it more practically, it is a bad idea.

    Best if your career is say lucrative financially but isn't really a social one at all (my conundrum) and your circle of friends is small and generally married (also my conundrum) is to use a blend of options to maximize your chances. Get out as much as possible, do things that you enjoy doing and won't make you miserable (i.e. go bowling, go play sand volleyball, ping pong, laser tag, pool etc; don't just go to the gym and torture yourself because you think you'll attract girls), keep up with 1 paid subscription out of the reputable dating sites (like Match or EHarmony, NOT the freeware crap like Tinder or POF), buy a membership into co-ed social activities, and most important thing is don't force it.

  3. #3
    Make a trade steal
    Location
    Waterbury CT
    Post Count
    10,713
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Dating sites are worthless for the average guy. Been on those for years and averaged one date per year sending hundreds of initial texts.

    Need to find confidence and game somehow or you'll have a hard time.

  4. #4
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    Dating sites are worthless for the average guy. Been on those for years and averaged one date per year sending hundreds of initial texts.
    I'll agree with you to some extent; even if you have a good career and are decent looking and come off as being interesting, cultured, multi-interested, well-traveled etc. you'll only get a <10% message rate and probably get messages from less than 3% of the "wife material" types. And more than half of even those messages will be of the "thank you for reaching out to me, but I'm not interested, Good Luck" variety. Still, averaging one date per year is pretty bleak and I've done a of a lot better than that (you must be not trying at all, not messaging enough women or sending too short/generic/uninteresting messages).

  5. #5
    Make a trade steal
    Location
    Waterbury CT
    Post Count
    10,713
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    I'll agree with you to some extent; even if you have a good career and are decent looking and come off as being interesting, cultured, multi-interested, well-traveled etc. you'll only get a <10% message rate and probably get messages from less than 3% of the "wife material" types. And more than half of even those messages will be of the "thank you for reaching out to me, but I'm not interested, Good Luck" variety. Still, averaging one date per year is pretty bleak and I've done a of a lot better than that (you must be not trying at all, not messaging enough women or sending too short/generic/uninteresting messages).
    Given up on it. Not worth the time or paying for it.

    Maybe my photos were not on point and poor uninteresting messages can contribute to lack of success.

  6. #6
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    Given up on it. Not worth the time or paying for it.

    Maybe my photos were not on point and poor uninteresting messages can contribute to lack of success.
    Nah, it's just a terrible numbers game for men, and the females that go on it are generally much more lax and way less into it and pay way less attention to their accounts than the guys that do. Even the women that are paid subscribers. They just don't check it nearly as often as men and don't respond very often because they know they could get tons more attention from men in person than men could from women.

    Go do some co-ed activities. Posting on message boards isn't a coed or even social activity. My advice is to make something your hobby where at least 50/50, better, or close to the proportion of those who are interested in said hobby are female.

  7. #7
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
    Name
    benefactor
    Location
    East Texas
    Post Count
    40,683
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    Well rascal, I don't think anyone who has interacted with you over the past decade plus on this site finds any of this surprising.

  8. #8
    CDs Nuts. resistanze's Avatar
    Location
    San Francsico
    Post Count
    23,837
    NBA Team
    Toronto Raptors

  9. #9
    Take the fcking keys away baseline bum's Avatar
    Post Count
    93,160
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    UCLA Bruins
    Well you can't be Jacob1983's dad since that would have required going on a date, but are you perhaps his uncle?
    Last edited by baseline bum; 01-04-2023 at 09:11 PM.

  10. #10
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Post Count
    96,026
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    UCLA Bruins
    i think it has a lot more with you being a miserable asshole than bad looks or game or anything like that.

    as long as you put yourself in enough social situations and arent a miserable asshole (i know this has been an issue for you) you'd eventually have been able to find women willing to go out with you (without requiring any game)

    easiest place for me was being able to work in social settings. my first job was a popular frozen yogurt place where i worked for a few years. admittedly coming out of HS i didnt have enough game to start hitting on customers or anything ... but the job kinda set it up to be able to fraternize with coworkers, most of whom were similarly aged. was just a matter of not being miserable around people
    Last edited by spurraider21; 01-04-2023 at 09:14 PM.

  11. #11
    faggy opinion + certainty Mark Celibate's Avatar
    Post Count
    4,362
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    College
    Texas Tech Red Raiders
    hardly any guys have "game", that's only really a thing if you are just going out trying to pick up chicks. Everyone else just goes out and meets people eventually through their social circle; not that hard. The only guys who fail at this are the ones who are overly desperate and try to hit on every girl as soon as they are introduced to a new group causing them to be continually shunned

  12. #12
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    hardly any guys have "game", that's only really a thing if you are just going out trying to pick up chicks. Everyone else just goes out and meets people eventually through their social circle; not that hard. The only guys who fail at this are the ones who are overly desperate and try to hit on every girl as soon as they are introduced to a new group causing them to be continually shunned
    right, just casually make friends with everybody first and don't ask girls out on dates the first day/night you're introduced to them (exception can be made for a drunken mixer party, but those are mostly college) to avoid coming off as desperate. Just get their facebook before you get their number, etc. Hang out with them in person a few times before asking someone to coffee/lunch. Then ask them to coffee/lunch and not dinner and a movie. Women are much more receptive to taking it slow in the early goings.

  13. #13
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    i think it has a lot more with you being a miserable asshole than bad looks or game or anything like that.

    as long as you put yourself in enough social situations and arent a miserable asshole (i know this has been an issue for you) you'd eventually have been able to find women willing to go out with you (without requiring any game)

    easiest place for me was being able to work in social settings. my first job was a popular frozen yogurt place where i worked for a few years. admittedly coming out of HS i didnt have enough game to start hitting on customers or anything ... but the job kinda set it up to be able to fraternize with coworkers, most of whom were similarly aged. was just a matter of not being miserable around people
    This is all pretty accurate.

    Then again, if you don't work in a social setting (but you make a lot of money working IT predominately remotely) you have to manufacture other ways. Don't just turn to online dating which I've iterated many times is a tough game for guys in general. There are better ways.

    Go to places where (co-ed) people are, but also get out of the house and do things you like to do that will make you happy regardless of whether you get a girl's digits/facebook or take a girl home or not.

    Examples... Play sand volleyball at a popular spot... that's always been a good one for me at least, because that's a very co-ed sport and the girls tend to be fit and healthy and fine. Go spend the $80 or so and do a co-ed social bowling... again, the women there tend to be in at least reasonable shape compared to the uggos you'll find on internet dating sites that are boring couch potato homebodies. A place like Main Event is pretty solid, though the general public is often a younger audience to some extent, you'll find plenty of single adult yuppies as well. Just make acquaintances and strike up conversations with the guys first. That's "game". Don't make the mistake of hitting on the ladies... that might be someone's girlfriend, and even if not, you're coming off as a creep.

    Big amusement parks are a decent option imo, though if you go alone it's tougher than if you're going with friends because typically the single women that go there are going in groups and the roller coaster enthusiasts are mostly male. At the water park, striking up conversation with people is fine, especially if it's a co-ed group that's not only a bunch of paired-up couples. Just don't stare and gawk at bikini bodies the whole time and be creepy. It's okay to glance over and then turn around, but don't make it obvious.

    Other good option that I've heard about others having success with meeting people -- but I'd never explore myself -- are dog parks and churches. I'm not a dog person and I'm an atheist, but for others who have these interests, it could be a good way of meeting a like-minded partner.

    What to avoid - Going to the bar or nightclub as a single male just strictly in the hopes of picking up chicks. If you know you won't have fun if you don't find someone, you'll end up leaving alone and disappointed or, worst case scenario, thrown out of the club for creeping out the ladies. (Now, if you're going to watch sports and legitimately to watch the game and cheer your team on and meet like minded people that you can connect with with the starter topic of the sports team/game rather than just "I'll buy you a drink and we'll play a drinking game...", then that's a different story.) Also, hobbies that aren't particularly co-ed, like going to play pickup basketball... I mean I do that fairly regularly, but I'm not out to get girls when I go do that, I'm out to stay in shape and play compe ively and have fun. The key in life is to keep holding your head up and having fun and not focusing too hard on finding a mate.

    The truth is... it's not "easy pickings" for straight and single guys once you've graduated college especially if your career is mainly remote, but forcing the issue and being desperate will leave you sad, lonely, miserable, and depressed.

  14. #14
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    Ladies aren't attracted to guys who sit around and mope about being single or are boring and introverted in general. Also you'll never find someone by staying inside behind the comfort of your laptop and keyboard.

    If you're looking for sleazy, non college educated, low wage/unemployed trashy females who are like 30 but can't compose a complete sentence to save her life, there's a bunch out there by going to bars and clubs, but those aren't desirable for long term relationships.

    If you're looking for premium quality single women that are out there, late 20s/early 30s range, professional, college educated, with a career etc. either go the co-ed hobbies route or be willing to pony up some good dough for a quality matchmaker or matchmaker service like "It's Just Lunch" which I've heard is both expensive and successful. But being inside on the computer or playing Xbox/Playstation will never get you a partner

  15. #15
    LMAO koriwhat's Avatar
    Post Count
    37,912
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    These threads are GOLDEN yet I'm the run that ruins this forum at large.

  16. #16
    I cannot grok its fullnes leemajors's Avatar
    Post Count
    24,165
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    if you're following Millenial Mooks advice, don't forget to drive across the country before doing it. It's easier to pretend you are something you are not somewhere else!

  17. #17
    Enemy of the System Millennial_Messiah's Avatar
    Name
    Andrew
    Location
    Prancelina, PDA
    Post Count
    24,579
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    North Texas Mean Green
    if you're following Millenial Mooks advice, don't forget to drive across the country before doing it. It's easier to pretend you are something you are not somewhere else!
    Traveling does provide perspective and insights that you don't get by staying stuck in the same city or town or neighborhood your whole life.

  18. #18
    Believe. Fat Brandon Bass's Avatar
    Post Count
    345
    NBA Team
    Phoenix Suns
    Ladies aren't attracted to guys who sit around and mope about being single or are boring and introverted in general. Also you'll never find someone by staying inside behind the comfort of your laptop and keyboard.

    If you're looking for sleazy, non college educated, low wage/unemployed trashy females who are like 30 but can't compose a complete sentence to save her life, there's a bunch out there by going to bars and clubs, but those aren't desirable for long term relationships.

    If you're looking for premium quality single women that are out there, late 20s/early 30s range, professional, college educated, with a career etc. either go the co-ed hobbies route or be willing to pony up some good dough for a quality matchmaker or matchmaker service like "It's Just Lunch" which I've heard is both expensive and successful. But being inside on the computer or playing Xbox/Playstation will never get you a partner
    really? I thought posting the weekly “black qb report card” threads would
    get the panties dropping immediately…or telling them how many spurstalk troll
    accounts I have…

  19. #19
    Believe. Tyronn Lue's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,907
    NBA Team
    Cleveland Cavaliers
    Relationship advice from Frodo

  20. #20
    coffee's for closers FrostKing's Avatar
    Location
    The line between East & West
    Post Count
    17,535
    NBA Team
    Chicago Bulls
    College
    Florida State Seminoles
    After my longest relationship, I was single for a handful of years. Legit single like random hook ups and only a couple dates with each girl.

    Ya you pick up toxic traits or more precisely a me, I, my at ude. You tend to lose ability to be affectionate and become distrustful of others.

    My first GF back I met at a family Holiday party and she was and remains the least attractive girl I've ever dated. She was very career driven, family oriented and overall a very sweet person.

    Since then I've been consistently in and out of relationships (some long) but far more committed than my single stage. Relationships progress very quickly because I no longer have those toxic traits I mentioned before.

    I'm still searching for the ideal balance of looks, personality, values, hobbies and arguably most importantly - timing. I usually date women about 7-10 years younger than me. I'm an Aquarius and have read we tend to see the end game rather early in the journey. I rarely get my heartbroken but maybe sometimes it would benefit me to be more lovingly gullible.

    Last point- region is an underrated factor. I currently live in Southern California. Gorgeous people open to dating but who actually wants to settle down and commit.
    Last edited by FrostKing; 01-07-2023 at 05:47 PM.

  21. #21
    Still Sporting Ben Davis Allan Rowe vs Wade's Avatar
    Name
    Allan
    Location
    Texas USA
    Post Count
    3,617
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    jeez i'm 11 years old and i find this thread really sad

  22. #22
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,330
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    look at it this way, did you work when u were in highschool or college/adult life? its all about the flashy imaginary lifestyle...cars, money that attracts the opposite...dont be jealous, you can be like them also if you worked early in your life to afford those materialistic things, yeh you would start earlier then those still at school finishing off their education, but only a certain few will catch up to you if u stick to your path invest/purchase wisely...or else once u hit ur 30s and have nothing to show for it...

    look at those girls who dated early or ended up with those cool guys during highschool/college, how many ended up being single moms? or life going nowhere due to law of avgs selecting wrong chump..... yet there are chimps who wait 10years for their turn to hook up with that highschool/college crush when those girls never gave you a second of their lives to notice you....

  23. #23
    Make a trade steal
    Location
    Waterbury CT
    Post Count
    10,713
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    You need game, confidence and knowledge of female nature and the goods to back up that game to attract desirable attractive girls.

    If you wait too long to develope game you're going to fall behind other guys and end up socially awkward at dating and not able to attract quality women.

  24. #24
    Believe.
    Post Count
    9,877
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    You need game, confidence and knowledge of female nature and the goods to back up that game to attract desirable attractive girls.

    If you wait too long to develope game you're going to fall behind other guys and end up socially awkward at dating and not able to attract quality women.
    listen man- first of all- part of me thinks you are just enjoying a nice game of trolling-

    and

    more importantly- I would NOT purport to be some expert or anyone to give out advice in this department-
    but

    I MUST chime in here;

    you are going about it all wrong -IME-

    who gives a what women want, what they look for, what they are attracted to ?? blah-blah

    all that

    you do YOU-period!

    you go anywhere and be into YOUR LIFE!

    When women eventually wonder why the you are happily into WHATEVER you are doing- they will come around, they will initiate contact they will show an interest…

    this is when you clearly state, “im militantly single, im not looking for anything or anyone, thanks”

    thats it

    just go on about with this posture and you will see miracles.

    women (most women-hate to generalize- but most women are like this)
    in general

    do NOT really know what the they are about and are almost always curious about others who seem sure of themselves, their lives, the way they are confident, etc…

    they will bite

    they want to know WHY- they HAVE to know why- you did NOT fall all over yourself trying to woo them or compliment them, chase them ,etc

    em

    ignore em
    talk to them when forced to

    when they call you and wonder why you didnt call

    em

    say “ill call you later”

    then - NEVER - call

    the day you adopt this posture- you will wonder WHY- after treating them indifferently, or ignoring them or even being kinda rude

    you will be stunned when they start trying to solve you, figure you out

    then you just take what they give and keep re-inforcing how you want to stay single…

    i cannot answer why women are this ed up
    (im referring to SINGLE women mostly- not the ones in good relationships- those are generally not going to give a about your at ude anyway- most attached women are fairly honest and stray little)

    but they are

    if you are a guy they know they can have easily- THEY DONT WANT YOU
    if they think you dont want them

    they HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT

    I HATE these games and am glad to be happily married for a long time-
    but these are the games they play

    you have to play it better.

  25. #25
    coffee's for closers FrostKing's Avatar
    Location
    The line between East & West
    Post Count
    17,535
    NBA Team
    Chicago Bulls
    College
    Florida State Seminoles
    There is truth to the more you chase the deeper in the woods you find yourself

    Also difference between pulling a woman and keeping her. I believe one must adapt to the situation.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •