Observations From The Front

[1369]

Those who weren't in the Corps probably won't get most of this, but I think it's still a funny read as well as his other postings.

Jimmy Stare Changed My Life

This update is made possible by hard corps motivators like this man

who infiltrated the air wing under false pretenses and got the proof positive pictures and this man who made the phrase "Shooter Rest" reality in the minds of many. I've learned some new terms while I've been at sea. The one term I kept hearing this time out, over and over again was "Crew Rest". The actual term is "Crew Day" but everybody knows it as "Crew Rest" and it goes like this: If you fly any kind of aircraft or pilot any kind of small boat or sometimes even if you drive a truck you are required to get at least 8 hours of sleep when you work for more then 10 hours in one 24 hour period. The whole Navy and Marine Corps are held hostage by this little thing called "Crew Rest". What it boils down to is simple. If the Navy or the Air Wing doesn't want to work they can bust out the "Holy Crew Rest" rule and all operations will cease or simply not even begin. It's funny how the Air Wing always seems to break down when they fly into places like Hawaii or Thailand but they have no problem flying for 24 hours straight as they zip into and out of holes like Alaska and Korea. So what does crew rest look like? Well we were never able to infiltrate their impregnable fortress of a berthing area but apparently they aren't sleeping during their "Crew Rest" because we were able to get these pictures.

Our inside man got us close enough to see what the wing does best…nothing at all. Now while all these people are ing about how hard they work they never stop to think about the individuals they are dropping off in their aircrafts and boats etc.

People like this guy.

This poor bas 's ruck was so ing heavy he hit the ground like a human lawn dart after he had been awake for nearly 14 hours planning for insert. Once he pealed himself off the ground he then began his mission which kept him awake for nearly two days while he carried that ing ruck all up and down the mountains of Pendleton. This same guy just got back from Iraq and like the rest of us will probably end up there soon. When he gets back from doing his job he's dirty and tired but there is no "Crew Rest" for him. Before he can scrub the cammie paint off his face and pop the fresh set of zits that it produced he has to make sure his gear and his weapon are clean. Then he has debrief. If he's lucky and somebody thought ahead, one of his buddies got him something to eat because he will be starving too. Once everything has been taken care of he can finally clean his body and go into what I like to call "Shooter Rest". Now if you wake up a guy in "Crew Rest" he will be pissed off. if you bother him during the hours when he is supposed to be working he will be pissed off. "Shooter Rest" is different because you CAN'T wake up somebody who's in "Shooter Rest". They have completely shut down and you could set a bomb off near by and it would make no difference.
Here is a man who has finished his mission and has just been told by a large boned Navy man that there is no more food left in the chow hall.

This picture is of another man who had his towel stolen while in the shower and is about to go into "Shooter Rest" naked and wet, which shows how dedicated these men are to "Shooter Rest".

Finally we have this man.

This man never made it to the shower or his rack and he paid a heavy price for his "Shooter Rest". It seems that right before he went into shooter rest he was trying to clean his most precious weapon of all but just couldn't finish the job. Another rare version of this can only be found in the barracks at Camp Schwab on Okinawa. On more than one occasion a man could be found on the toilet with taco rice near by the right foot and exactly one bite taken out of it. Near the left foot would be some kind of informative magazine like "Swank" or "Women over 40". The man in question would be butt naked with in hand. Those pictures can never be shown due to national security and the fact that I don't want to scare small children. We have decided that we will begin using our own "Shooter rest" rule from now on. It goes like this: For every stupid thing we do that lasts more than 10 hours we will be required to get our mandatory 8 hours of "Shooter Rest". Here's an example of what it would sound like: "Sorry sir, we can't do the mission tonight because we've been playing MEU games since 0500 this morning and we still haven't accomplished a god damned thing and it's nearly midnight. We need to go into "Shooter rest" and we will re-evaluate the situation upon completion of "Shooter Rest" I know the enemy needs to be shot now but he will have to wait until our "Shooter Rest" is complete. Remember sir, these rules of "Shooter Rest" were written in other men's blood" I love that last remark because I actually heard some air wing guy try to use that one while explaining the absurdity of "Crew Rest" and why he couldn't do the mission because of it.

While you were reading this I've been standing in a long line somewhere on the ship, waiting for something.

[gophergeorge]

Sweet....

Thanks One Three Six Nine!