Favorite Dumb and Dumber quotes

[50 cent]

Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

[baseline bum]

Now don't you go dying on me now!

[HighLowLobForBig-50]

Big Gulps aye, welp see ya later

[baseline bum]

Pretty bird... pretty bird

[MrChug]

Harry: "Look at the butt on that!"
Lloyd: "...he must work out"

[Trainwreck2100]

Harry: I can't feel my hands anymore, Lloyd. T-th-they're numb!
Lloyd: Here, maybe you should wear these extra gloves... my hands are getting kinda sweaty!
Harry: Extra gloves? You've had...this pair...of extra gloves...this whole time?!?!
Lloyd: Yeah! We're in the Rockies!
Harry: I'm gonna kill you.
Lloyd: ...What?
Harry: I'm gonna KILL YOU!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, LLOYD!
Lloyd: EEEK! HARRY! YOUR HANDS ARE FREEZING!

[Fpoonsie]

"His head fell off!"
"His HEAD fell off?!?"
"Yeah, he was pretty old."

[thispego]

Big Gulps aye, welp see ya later

FTW except it's: "Hey Guys! Oh Big Gulps aye?? ha Allright! Well, see ya later!"

:lmao

[IronMexican]

Probably when they both lose their job the same day and Lloyd called Harry a loser, that was classic.

[Bigzax]

Harry: You had extra gloves the whole time?!!!
Lloyd: Yeah... we're in the Rockies!

Then when Harry goes to choke Lloyd, Lloyd yells out,
"HARRY! Your hands are freezing!"

------------------------



"HOPE YOUR NOT USING THE TOILET. IT'S BROKEN."

[thispego]

Harry: Hey hey Lloyd, we are supposed to talk about all expenditures. We are on a very tight budget.
Lloyd: This did'nt come out of our travel fund.
Harry: oh no?
Lloyd: No. Yeah I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry: Where did you get 25 extra bucks?
Lloyd: SOld some stuff. To Billy in 4c.
Harry: The blind kid??
Lloyd: Hahyeah... yeah.
Harry: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd: just some stuff.
Harry: WHat kind of stuff??
Lloyd: you know.. few baseball cards, sack of marbles.. *cough*petie
Harry: Petie?? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid??!? Whatyou, Lloyd! Petie didnt even have a Head!!
Lloyd: Harry... I took care of it!

[bostonguy]

Lloyd:"I expected the rocky mountains to be a little bit more rockier than this"
Harry:"Yeah that John Denver is full of shit"



Lloyd:"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me hooking up"
Mary:"Not good"
Lloyd: "Not good as in 1 in 100?"
Mary:"I'd say more like 1 in a million"
Lloyd: "So you're saying there is a chance?" Yeahhhh!"



Mary: See you at 7:45?
Harry: I was thinking more like a quarter to 8.
Mary: <laughs>
Harry: Ok 7:45


Harry:Yeah they strapped this bullet proof vest on me and gave me a gun.
Lloyd: But what if he shot you in the face?
Harry: What if he shot me in the face?


Harry: Wait a minute! Maybe she meant 10 o'clock at night.
Lloyd: You think?
Harry: Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?
Lloyd: I dont know. I just thought she was a raging alcoholic.



The scene when Lloyd is riding on that moped yelling Harry's name:

Harry: Just when I thought you couldnt be dumber. Then you go out and totally redeem yourself!

[GINNNNNNNNNNNNOBILI]

I thought the Rocky Mountains were going to be rockier than this...

That John Denver is full of shit

[Slydragon]

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/d/dumb-and-dumberer-script-transcript.html

[Barbarian]

Harry:Yeah they strapped this bullet proof vest on me and gave me a gun.
Lloyd: But what if he shot you in the face?
Harry: What if he shot me in the face?




:tu

[IronMexican]

:tu

is that a tranny? http://www.clublakers.com/forums/images/smiles/man13.gif

[DPG21920]

Cop: Pull over
Lloyd: No, its a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. Killer boots man.

[MI21]

Cop: Pull over
Lloyd: No, its a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. Killer boots man.

I crack up at that every time.

I like when Llyod swaps the dog van for the pissy scooter and Harry says something along the lines of :

"Lloyd, just when I think you can not get any more stupid, you go and do something like this..... and completely redeem yourself!"

[monosylab1k]

Cop: Pull over
Lloyd: No, its a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. Killer boots man.

haha and right after that "gimme that booze you pumpkin pie haircutted freak!"

[ATRAIN]

Look there is more hitch hikers..........PICK EM UP!!

[ATRAIN]

Mary.......I totally wanna make love to a schoolboy.

[monosylab1k]

I'm gonna stand by the bar......put out the vibe.

[MoSpur]

"We got no food, we got no jobs. Our pets heads are falling off!!!!"

[Fpoonsie]

My favorite "scene" w/o much dialogue.

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[MoSpur]

C-Bass - "Who's the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker?"
Lloyd - Points at Harry

[phyzik]

Lloyd: Mock
Harry: Yeah
Lloyd: Ing
Harry: Yeah
Lloyd: BIRD
Harry: yeah
Llyod: yeah
Harry: Yeah

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[xtremesteven33]

"Kick his ass Seabass!!"


"Excuse me Flo?"

[GINNNNNNNNNNNNOBILI]

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

[ORION]

Lloyd: Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.

[E20]

Lloyd:"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me hooking up"
Mary:"Not good"
Lloyd: "Not good as in 1 in 100?"
Mary:"I'd say more like 1 in a million"
Lloyd: "So you're saying there is a chance?" Yeahhhh!"



Mary: See you at 7:45?
Harry: I was thinking more like a quarter to 8.


These always make me laugh.

[angel_luv]

Cop: Pull over
Lloyd: No, its a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. Killer boots man.

:lol

[angel_luv]

Lloyd: Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.

:lol


Lloyd:"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me hooking up"
Mary:"Not good"
Lloyd: "Not good as in 1 in 100?"
Mary:"I'd say more like 1 in a million"
Lloyd: "So you're saying there is a chance?" Yeahhhh!"



Mary: See you at 7:45?
Harry: I was thinking more like a quarter to 8.


These always make me laugh.
:lol:lol

[Spurminator]

Harry: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.


Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.

[IronMexican]

Harry: Check out the buns on that *stares at girl*
Lloyd: Yeah, He must work out.

[Fpoonsie]

Harry: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.


Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.

Hilarious exchange...but I think it adds a bit to it if you really accentuate. "I'm talkin about a little place called 'Assssspen'".

[midgetonadonkey]

FTW except it's: "Hey Guys! Oh Big Gulps aye?? ha Allright! Well, see ya later!"

:lmao

One of the best movie lines ever.

[johnsmith]

"Getting trapped under a gas truck, that's the worst".

[xtremesteven33]

"I just thought he was just really quiet"

[IronMexican]

wooow! i forgot my favorite part!

When he is in the bar and reads the newspaper from 1969 saying we walked on the moon and yells "We did it!":lol

[CuckingFunt]

Kingpin was funnier.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

D&D was one of those movies that I hated the first time I saw it, but got funnier the more times I saw it.

[Fpoonsie]

I'm watchin it right now and forgot about this scene...

l1QYeqUS6C4

[Spurminator]

Killer boots!

[Blake]

did you ever think what would have happened if Lloyd had married Mary?

Her name would have been Mary Christmas

[remingtonbo2001]

Funniest scene of all-time....

D7GoswzefcY

[MrChug]

Kingpin was funnier.

Uhhh....no.