Faux pas in Zurich

[Slomo]

As I already told in another thread it's time for my annual pilgrimage to Amsterdam to what is the second biggest trade show in our industry (the biggest one being in Las Vegas every spring). I boarded the plane for Zurich in Ljubljana today and was supposed to catch another one to Amsterdam from there. Unfortunately the flight to Amsterdam was canceled because the plane broke down and because of some sort of strike Swiss doesn't have the resource to fly us to Amsterdam until tomorrow morning.

So they shuttled us off to different hotels, and since I've been a Lufthansa Gold member (they actually call it some other ridiculously pompous name) for years (which basically means I get automatically upgraded to business class for all European flights) I was in the group that got driven to a very nice downtown hotel.

After I filled out the form, the receptionist, a rather attractive young lady (OK she was fricking hot with a disarming smile and rather nice behind), takes me to my room and once there shows me all the different features of the room (air conditioning control, TV, Do not disturb button.... you know the usual things). The last thing she shows me (no it's not what you perverts are thinking) is a pair of wooden panels in the room and as she pushes the panels to the sides they reveal the bathtub right behind them - basically putting the tub in the middle of the room (I'll attach a few picture at the end).

As the idiot that I am I blurt out "Oh, that's a bit naughty!". At which the lovely lady looks me straight in the eyes and with her most professional voice informs me that it's so that you can watch the TV while taking a bath or shower.

I was trying very hard not to turn completely red - and failing miserably.

So here's my story how today I became a dirty old man in Zurich...




http://www.cikava.com/gallery/albums/Europe/12092008008_S.sized.jpg

http://www.cikava.com/gallery/albums/Europe/12092008010_S.sized.jpg

[Homeland Security]

So you can masturbate to Sarah Palin on TV right in the shower? Perfect!

[ORION]

Does it have hot water ?

[Slomo]

So you can masturbate to Sarah Palin on TV right in the shower? Perfect!

I believe that this is what you Americans call french benefits :lol

[Slomo]

Does it have hot water ?

No.

No Oreos either....

[ORION]

What flavor is that Slurpee on the table ?

[Slomo]

What flavor is that Slurpee on the table ?

It's ice coffee (similar to Starbucks' frapuccinos - but not quite).

[ORION]

That is a pretty awesome room. Do they have any Swedish "massage therapist" on call ?

[jaffies]

The last thing she shows me (no it's not what you perverts are thinking) is a pair of wooden panels in the room and as she pushes the panels to the sides they reveal the bathtub right behind them - basically putting the tub in the middle of the room (I'll attach a few picture at the end).

As the idiot that I am I blurt out "Oh, that's a bit naughty!".


^^^This sounds exactly like the opening moments of a porn scene.



Receptionist: Here you are, Mr. Slomo, your very own sexy bathtub with a view of the TV so you can watch porno....er, I mean...the news.

Slomo: I might be very lonely in there, wanna join?

Secretly promiscuous receptionist: Oh, slo-mee! Turn on some Sarah Palin, and show me your Lufthansa Gold!!

Slomo: Now THAT'S room service!!!!

[Slomo]

That is a pretty awesome room. Do they have any Swedish "massage therapist" on call ?

Of course!

But Lufthansa refuses to pay for them :(

[Slomo]

^^^This sounds exactly like the opening moments of a porn scene.



Receptionist: Here you are, Mr. Slomo, your very own sexy bathtub with a view of the TV so you can watch porno....er, I mean...the news.

Slomo: I might be very lonely in there, wanna join?

Secretly promiscuous receptionist: Oh, slo-mee! Turn on some Nancy Pelosi, and show me your Lufthansa Gold!!

Slomo: Now THAT'S room service!!!!

I know :lol

She had to ruin it though :depressed

[duncan228]

No Oreos either....

:lol

So, how many places are you known as a dirty old man now?

[ORION]

Don't pee in the tub. They will find out.

[Slomo]

:lol

So, how many places are you known as a dirty old man now?

Officially, this might be the first one.

Unofficially? who knows...

Seriously though, It was so obvious where my mind was, and she just nailed me. I hope she's not on duty tomorrow at check out - I'm going to have trouble making eye contact if she is :lol

[Slomo]

Don't pee in the tub. They will find out.

:wtf

How?

I'm going to go test this right now.

[ORION]

:wtf

How?

I'm going to go test this right now.

It would be real funny if the tub turned blue and you started to panic. Then I would say "that's how"

[Slomo]

It would be real funny if the tub turned blue and you started to panic. Then I would say "that's how"

:lmao

I don't know if I'd panic, but I would definitely post pictures! :lol

[ORION]

:lmao

I don't know if I'd panic, but I would definitely post pictures! :lol

Make sure to spell your name in the tub

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Officially, this might be the first one.

Unofficially? who knows...

Seriously though, It was so obvious where my mind was, and she just nailed me.


You wish.

How's the weather over there? Still in the 20s or has it dipped into the teens?

[Shelly]

Make sure you watermark those pictures!!!

[T Park]

Your lucky the hotel in Zurich I was at in May of 07 was semi dumpy. I have horrible luck with hotels in Europe. To me, the Super 8 in the USA is just as good or better than some of the "better" hotels in Europe.

[ORION]

dipped into the teens?
He better not be dipping into the teens ....unless she is eighteen.

[duncan228]

He better not be dipping into the teens ....unless she is eighteen.

It's been established that he's a dirty old man. :lol

[ChuckD]

Make sure to spell your name in the tub

Cue Mouse to photoshop a blue SLOMO into the tub pic....

[Clandestino]

whats the name of that hotel?

[ShoogarBear]

What the hell kind of hotel has the fricking hot receptionist take you up to your room? Better not let Kobe hear about this.

Oh, and how many languages do you speak, Slomo?

[Slomo]

You wish.

How's the weather over there? Still in the 20s or has it dipped into the teens?

I know :), but she did nail me - just not in a good way :p:

Cloudy, slight rain and 15 deg C


Your lucky the hotel in Zurich I was at in May of 07 was semi dumpy. I have horrible luck with hotels in Europe. To me, the Super 8 in the USA is just as good or better than some of the "better" hotels in Europe.

Hotels are very different in Europe than in the US. The local specifics vary a lot and there are very few "standardized" hotel chains - which is the norm in the US. I can easily see how somebody from the US would be disappointed by the size of the room (specially the bathroom) in London, even if we're talking about a top notch (American) hotel chain.
But on top of that hotels are expensive over here, compared to the US they are just as expensive in the top range (4 seasons, Hyatt...) but in the lower ranges (Very good quality business type hotels) the difference is quite big. The strong Euro making the comparison even worse.
All is not that bad though, and good affordable hotels (not as affordable as you guys expect them to be) can be found, but you need local knowledge much much more than you do in the US.
Zurich, Paris and to a certain extent London are places were for the same amount of money you'll either be staying in a nice small family owned hotel or in a dump - so I'm not really surprised by your comment.
Also we tend to concentrate on other things when we talk about quality than you do and if somebody doesn't show/explains that to you - chances are you won't figure it out by yourself (and you're not alone). I have a few business acquaintances from the US that used to hate coming over here, but now love it provided I take care of their traveling plans (the secret is FOOD :) ) - and I can say the same thing about a few European friends who used to hate US trips (Las Vegas more specifically) but now have learned to like it.


He better not be dipping into the teens ....unless she is eighteen.


It's been established that he's a dirty old man. :lol

:lol


What the hell kind of hotel has the fricking hot receptionist take you up to your room? Better not let Kobe hear about this.

Oh, and how many languages do you speak, Slomo?

It's becoming the norm in the better hotels. It happen to me three times already in the last couple of months. The porter bringing your luggage showing you around the room is/was quite frequent - but the receptionist taking you to the room is new to me. The first time was in Prague, where I was staying at the Brangelina suite in the 4 seasons (that's another very long story - and no I wasn't paying for the room).

I speak 6 languages: Slovenian, French, English, German, Italian, Serbian/Croatian. I understand Macedonian and a little Czech.

[duncan228]

I speak 6 languages: Slovenian, French, English, German, Italian, Serbian/Croatian. I understand Macedonian and a little Czech.

Wow. Nice Slomo. That's an impressive accomplishment.

[T Park]

The first time was in Prague

Did you see the GEICO Caveman there learning dance moves?

[Slomo]

Wow. Nice Slomo. That's an impressive accomplishment.

Not really. Except for English, I never learned any foreign language, just traveled a lot for a very long time and living in an area of the world where there's a huge mixture of cultures and languages.
Basically I'm a vagabond, who has slowly worked his way up to some nicer hotels :).
It's also much more common for people from small countries to speak several foreign languages.

[Slomo]

Did you see the GEICO Caveman there learning dance moves?
No... Is that the latest ad from GEICO? :lol

[1369]

Hotels are very different in Europe than in the US. The local specifics vary a lot and there are very few "standardized" hotel chains - which is the norm in the US. I can easily see how somebody from the US would be disappointed by the size of the room (specially the bathroom) in London, even if we're talking about a top notch (American) hotel chain.

No doubt, I stayed at the Savoy on the Strand in London a few years back and the room was about the size of my closet.

Really good single malt though...

[Slomo]

No doubt, I stayed at the Savoy on the Strand in London a few years back and the room was about the size of my closet.

Absolutely! and the Savoy is among the finest hotels in the world...


Really good single malt though...

... but I see you've learned to concentrate on the things that REALLY matter :lol:tu

[1369]

One thing I did notice in the European hotels is that you have a REAL concierge. Anything you want (and have the cash for), and they will arrange it for you.

And yes, the single malt is a priority. My next big trip is to the Homeland and sample the local wares.

[1369]

Hey Slomo, another cool trip if you can swing it is to hit Stockholm and check out the Wasa exhibit. I was there in '99 on my way to check out a Timken factory and got to check out the Berlin Philharmonic do a sound check in the museum in preparation for one of their concerts.

[DancingCaveman]

Did you see the GEICO Caveman there learning dance moves?

Don't knock it until you try it, TPark.

[T Park]

No... Is that the latest ad from GEICO? :lol

:lol

Yeah the Caveman is dancing and he says "I learned this while traveling through Prague"

As soon as you typed that, the image of the caveman dancing popped up :lol

[T Park]

Not really. Except for English, I never learned any foreign language, just traveled a lot for a very long time and living in an area of the world where there's a huge mixture of cultures and languages.
Basically I'm a vagabond, who has slowly worked his way up to some nicer hotels :).It's also much more common for people from small countries to speak several foreign languages.


Me and you both brother.

I tip my glass of single malt to you my friend :)

[ShoogarBear]

Hotels are very different in Europe than in the US. The local specifics vary a lot and there are very few "standardized" hotel chains - which is the norm in the US. I can easily see how somebody from the US would be disappointed by the size of the room (specially the bathroom) in London, even if we're talking about a top notch (American) hotel chain.

When I was traveling around Germany a couple years ago, by far the worst (and most expensive) hotel was the Marriott, and the best were the local ones.





It's becoming the norm in the better hotels. It happen to me three times already in the last couple of months. The porter bringing your luggage showing you around the room is/was quite frequent - but the receptionist taking you to the room is new to me. Dude, you missed a signal, methinks.


The first time was in Prague, where I was staying at the Brangelina suite in the 4 seasons (that's another very long story - and no I wasn't paying for the room).Oh, the horror. The hot Czech receptionist takes you up to your room.


I speak 6 languages: Slovenian, French, English, German, Italian, Serbian/Croatian. I understand Macedonian and a little Czech.Man, I'm jealous as hell.


One thing I did notice in the European hotels is that you have a REAL concierge. Anything you want (and have the cash for), and they will arrange it for you.

Did they bring it to your bunk?

[ShoogarBear]

It just occurred to me that Slomo just pulled off a "I'm a richer/smarter/funner" thread.

Faux pas in Zurich. How much more fricking pretentious can you get?

[Slomo]

It just occurred to me that Slomo just pulled off a "I'm a richer/smarter/funner" thread.

Faux pas in Zurich. How much more fricking pretentious can you get?

:lol

It took 40 posts to get busted - not bad even if I say so myself. :p:

Another title I was considering was: "I needed a cold shower after she left my room" - but faux pas sounded better.

And I kinda hoped some of the females on this board would have noticed the "...smarter/funner" part - not a senior citizen from the Sates :depressed

[ShoogarBear]

If you were really a funner, we would have gotten pics of the receptionist.

[ORION]

If you were really a funner, we would have gotten pics of the receptionist.
I hate to do it, but I agree with Shoog

[Shelly]

It's also much more common for people from small countries to speak several foreign languages.

Even though I was a kid when I lived in Luxembourg and despite having to take French all those years, I never learned how to speak it. Mainly, because almost everyone spoke English or you could get by with enough English, German, or French to get your point across.

Plus, going to an American school didn't help and most of my friends were American (Goodyear and DuPont had plants in Lux). All the non-American kids that went to my school spoke English.

[ORION]

Hey I've been out of the US too. I went to Boystown once...

[Mark in Austin]

Slomo,

Just out of curiousity, what language did the receptionist speak?

[Das Texan]

Slomo,

You are one dirty old man.


I hope to be like you when I get older.


:lol

[tlongII]

Slomo,

Just out of curiousity, what language did the receptionist speak?

I'm guessing french.

[Slomo]

Slomo,

Just out of curiousity, what language did the receptionist speak?

She spoke English.

[Chief]

Did you think maybe she was just playing hard to get ?

seems like you wimped out :D

[Slomo]

Did you think maybe she was just playing hard to get ?

I didn't notice, I was too busy turning into all the shade of red known to me.


seems like you wimped out :D

Of course I did - I thought it was obvious :lol

[polandprzem]

Slomo you dirty old man in Amsterdam!

[polandprzem]

btw.

If you will pay a visit in the North of Poland do not forget to PM me first

[Slomo]

Slomo you dirty old man in Amsterdam!


:lol

Yes I'm in Amsterdam now. No new incidents to report, but since the day is still young and I am after all in a pretty crazy place - the potential is definitely here fo me to make an ass of myself (again).

If I'm ever in Poland, I'll be sure to let you know Polandprzem.

[alamo50]

I hope you are enjoying your stay Slomo!

[Borosai]

She spoke English.

That's the problem right there. You didn't seduce her with some aggressive French description and narration. Next time, try something like this:

Mademoiselle, je sais que vous avez le cuisses légères, et franchement, j'ai le démon de midi. Donc... permettez-moi de tremper mon biscuit ce soir. Ouais, c'est comme ça.

I guarantee something will happen. :toast

[ORION]

allow me to soak my cookie tonight.

:lmao

[ORION]

:lol

Yes I'm in Amsterdam now. No new incidents to report, but since the day is still young and I am after all in a pretty crazy place - the potential is definitely here fo me to make an ass of myself (again).

If I'm ever in Poland, I'll be sure to let you know Polandprzem.

Let me know when you travel to exotic New Braunfels

[Slomo]

I hope you are enjoying your stay Slomo!

I am thanks for asking. Any chance I can buy you a beer?


That's the problem right there. You didn't seduce her with some aggressive French description and narration. Next time, try something like this:

Mademoiselle, je sais que vous avez le cuisses légères, et franchement, j'ai le démon de midi. Donc... permettez-moi de tremper mon biscuit ce soir. Ouais, c'est comme ça.

I guarantee something will happen. :toast

:lmao

I'm pretty sure something would have happened!!!

[alamo50]

I am thanks for asking. Any chance I can buy you a beer?

Man, if I had known up front hat you were here than I would have taken you to AJAX Amsterdam's first soccer home game of the season and bought you all the beers all day!

[Slomo]

Man, if I had known up front hat you were here than I would have taken you to AJAX Amsterdam's first soccer home game of the season and bought you all the beers all day!

Well the weekend was totally out of the question anyway (meetings all day and then diner with clients), but that's alright since I really don't like soccer :lol

Anyway I'm in Amsterdam another couple of days and then I'm off to London.

[ORION]

Well the weekend was totally out of the question anyway (meetings all day and then diner with clients), but that's alright since I really don't like soccer :lol

Anyway I'm in Amsterdam another couple of days and then I'm off to London.

I'm so sorry to hear that .........:pctoss

[ShoogarBear]

Slomo is pwning richers everywhere.

[alamo50]

Well the weekend was totally out of the question anyway (meetings all day and then diner with clients), but that's alright since I really don't like soccer :lol

Anyway I'm in Amsterdam another couple of days and then I'm off to London.

Just wanted to be nice man.

[Slomo]

Just wanted to be nice man.

I know - just couldn't resist to take a jab at soccer :D Don't take it seriously.

But it is true that I was booked out during the weekend. Anyway I was serious about the beer. How far away from AMS are you again?