PDA

View Full Version : Exercise Bike Blog 12-10-08



Blake
12-10-2008, 10:38 AM
Hello everyone,

You may remember me. I was the exercise bike that Dirk Nowitzki beat up after a loss to the Heat in the 2006 NBA Finals.

I have a made a full recovery since he broke my pedal (and subsequently also had to wear a neck brace) and have worked my way back into tip top shape.

But fears for my personal safety are growing again, especially after last night's double overtime loss to the Spurs.

Dirk was giving me a creepy stare as he was sitting at his locker after the game. I also swear I overheard Jason Terry mumbling under his breath that he wanted to shove my handlebar up my speedometer. I also think I saw Stackhouse with a gun and for some reason, Jason Kidd has a baseball bat in his locker. All four were looking my way.

I wet my bike seat. I thought for sure I was a dead bike.

Luckily, Keith Van Horn stripped and started pole dancing for the rest of team, and that got me off the hook.......for now.

This is just too much to handle. I've got a wife and two kid bikes at home.

I tried to talk to Cuban, but he wouldn't listen. He said I was still under contract until 2014 and I just need to take it like a real exercise bike.

This sucks. I really thought I was going to be a Spur back in early 2007, but the trade that would have sent me to San Antonio for Beno, Barry and the rights to Scola fell through at the last minute.

God I wish I was in San Antonio

-yours,
E-bike

Shank
12-10-2008, 12:07 PM
Fucking awesome, Blake. I mean that, too. This is the funniest thing any of us have ever read. I get it - the bike angle and all. Genius. Just genius.

z0sa
12-10-2008, 12:09 PM
I actually thought this was pretty funny :lol

Hook Dem
12-10-2008, 12:15 PM
:lmao Thats some funny bike shit!:lmao

angel_luv
12-10-2008, 12:34 PM
That was super funny! :lol :lol :lol

dirk4mvp
12-10-2008, 12:46 PM
That was super funny! :lol :lol :lol


How shitty did you feel when you found out your superhero Manu doesn't believe in your god? :lmao

Taco
12-10-2008, 12:48 PM
ysAH1c8nMrA

z0sa
12-10-2008, 12:50 PM
How shitty did you feel when you found out your superhero Manu doesn't believe in your god? :lmao

It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man go to heaven ...

so whats the point anyway? :wakeup

Taco
12-10-2008, 01:58 PM
How shitty did you feel when you found out your superhero Manu doesn't believe in your god? :lmao


This is Manu's God :lol

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/5674/340xmr5.jpg

ShoogarBear
12-10-2008, 02:00 PM
But fears for my personal safety are growing again, especially after last night's double overtime loss to the Spurs.

Dirk was giving me a creepy stare as he was sitting at his locker after the game.


Um, aren't you in Miami?

DarrinS
12-10-2008, 02:03 PM
LMFAO at this thread.

:lmao

Duncanoypi
12-10-2008, 02:18 PM
WTF! funny to the highest level!

Blake
12-10-2008, 04:08 PM
Um, aren't you in Miami?

uhh.....I travel with the Mavs.

For the record, while I was in Miami, unfortunately, I did get to taste Shaq's ass while he was working out. Take the used jock straps from the lockerroom, mix it with the nastiest dumpster you can find followed by his first rap album, and you scratch the surface as to what it tastes like.

He said, "E-Bike, tell me how my ass taste". I think I made the smart move by telling him "it tastes mmmmm good, Shaq"

P.S. don't ask me what Keith Van Horn is still doing in the Mavs lockerroom.......I'm just telling you what I saw.

-E-Bike

exstatic
12-10-2008, 08:21 PM
I actually thought this was pretty funny :lol

Mav fan wouldn't find it so...
:lol

ClingingMars
12-10-2008, 08:25 PM
How shitty did you feel when you found out your superhero Manu doesn't believe in your god? :lmao

don't be a bitch to angel, or I'll kick yer ass in GOW :P

-Mars

m33p0
12-10-2008, 10:00 PM
:lmao :lol

Blake
12-11-2008, 09:59 AM
It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man go to heaven ...


a rich Manu?

lefty
12-11-2008, 10:01 AM
:lmao

Texas_Ranger
12-11-2008, 10:05 AM
:lmao

Doug Collins
12-11-2008, 10:45 AM
Fucking awesome, Blake. I mean that, too. This is the funniest thing any of us have ever read. I get it - the bike angle and all. Genius. Just genius.

:lol

gingerwave
12-11-2008, 10:50 AM
I actually thought this was pretty funny

I thought the same thing.

Blake
12-11-2008, 11:23 AM
Fucking awesome, Blake. I mean that, too. This is the funniest thing any of us have ever read. I get it - the bike angle and all. Genius. Just genius.

yeah, i gotta admit, that's a funny post....:lol

and then you take into account that it's coming from a Mavs fan and the lol factor goes off the charts.

z0sa
12-11-2008, 11:47 AM
I thought the same thing.


yeah, i gotta admit, that's a funny post....:lol

and then you take into account that it's coming from a Mavs fan and the lol factor goes off the charts.

Yeh, Mavfan still has no sense of humor concerning exercise bikes :rollin