second hand smoke

[David Bowie]

Does anybody else have experience with second hand smoke? I have been dating a guy for the past 13 months who smokes about a pack a day. He lives with two roomates who are at the apartment a lot who smoke about a pack a day as well. I spend the weekends at his house. The smell of smoke doesn't gross me out or bother me, but I am scared by the health dangers. I do not smoke at all, and sometimes by the middle of the weekend I can feel my chest hurting.

I know that there is a lot of information on the internet about second hand smoke. I am interested of hearing input from people who have been around second hand smoke and their experiences and how they dealt with this.

Also, is there any way to mitigate this this situation? My bf has been smoking for over 20 years, so he's not going to just quit. I myself know a few things about addiction, so I know that the change has to come from within. Also, I can't really say anything to his roomates (who are in their 50s and a lot older then both of us.)

Any input would be helpful.

Thanks

[Blake]

a chain-smoking single dude that lives with two other 50 year olds in an apartment that you've only known for a year.

you're concerned over your health.

k.

[ChumpDumper]

Is this a BUMP thread?

[David Bowie]

sigh....this is the only forum I visit, I was hoping for some real responses. Should have known better.

[DesignatedT]

:lol

[ALVAREZ6]

I wouldn't be concerned with anything health-related from what you've described.

Second hand smoke = not a concern

People in my family have lived 75-80+ years from smoking a pack a day themselves...any second hand smoke you are receiving is probably .0007% of the smoke these people smoked regularly, along with everyone else who lives that long, and I've heard that if you're a smoker and you quit permanently...your lungs are back to normal health in 4 years. The human body is pretty amazing. Now, after hearing that, it sounds pretty fucking amazing, but of course you can develop numerous cancers via smoking, but no chance of that through second hand smoke.

Health-wise, you should have little concern about the smoking.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Without really knowing all the details of the relationship/situation, it's hard to give good advice, but I'll try.
Do you have to stay at his place over the weekends? If not, mix it up sometimes and see if that makes you feel better or alleviate some of your symptoms. If this is someone your serious about (13 months is pretty serious, usually), then have you discussed getting a place together? Maybe financial issues are preventing you from that or there's other particulars...

Either way, chest pain is never a good thing...most of the time it means nothing, but if this is a recurring symptom you get every weekend, then you need to distance yourself from that place or rectify the sitch some other way. Hope it works out.

[DeadlyDynasty]

and with addiction, you are right that change needs to come from within...but a good support system can help be the catalyst for that change. You might have to try the gum, patch, hypnotherapy, etc...It can be frustrating as hell, but if it's someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, then it's worth it.

[David Bowie]

Thanks guys,

Yes, we are serious about each other. Right now is not a good time for us to find a place together mostly due to financial issues and my lack of a drivers license. Also, he has a very good deal on his current apartment. his landlord is an old friend of his and the place is nice.

I have brought up the smoking issue before. What usually happens is that he will smoke less (or move away from me when he smokes) for a few hours, but will always return to his normal smoking pattern.

I abused downers in pill form (mostly benzos and sleeping pills) during most of our relationship. However, I got into a program and am weaning of the pills with a doctor's help. I am currently taking 10% of the amount of pills I consumed a year ago. I should be completely clean in a few months according to my treatment plan.

Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use. However, my pill use is not hurting him, and I actually did something about it.

Also, he shows complete disregard for his own health. He had pneumonia this summer and spent two weeks coughing up blood and barely breathing. I begged him to go see a Doctor and he flat our refused. This is only one example. If he doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about mine?

[David Bowie]

Nah, he's 32. His roomates are older. He knows them from his previous job.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Thanks guys,

Yes, we are serious about each other. Right now is not a good time for us to find a place together mostly due to financial issues and my lack of a drivers license. Also, he has a very good deal on his current apartment. his landlord is an old friend of his and the place is nice.

I have brought up the smoking issue before. What usually happens is that he will smoke less (or move away from me when he smokes) for a few hours, but will always return to his normal smoking pattern.

I abused downers in pill form (mostly benzos and sleeping pills) during most of our relationship. However, I got into a program and am weaning of the pills with a doctor's help. I am currently taking 10% of the amount of pills I consumed a year ago. I should be completely clean in a few months according to my treatment plan.

Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use. However, my pill use is not hurting him, and I actually did something about it.

Also, he shows complete disregard for his own health. He had pneumonia this summer and spent two weeks coughing up blood and barely breathing. I begged him to go see a Doctor and he flat our refused. This is only one example. If he doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about mine?

I used to love me some benzos back in college. Xaney bars, valium, klonopin, etc. :tu

Sounds like ur b/f works construction :lol
He clearly doesn't care about your health either. Tyson's right though, I don't understand what's so special about him that's worth the chest pains and creepy old roommates. Maybe the sex is great, who knows...doesn't sound like a real solid situation to be in.






If this is a trolljob, then props to whoever you are :tu

[Bukefal]

2nd hand smoke is just as bad. Just make people smoke outside. I mean, why should you breathe the waste smoke of someone else.

As for quitting. I smoked a lot but I did not want the smell and the health dangers anymore, so I quit. I don't believe in nicotine gum, medical help, books, electronic cigarettes, etcetera. I think it's all a mind thing. If someone really wants to quit, he/she will, without gums, medical help, books and all that bullshit what's supposed to help you quit.

I just quit cold turkey and have not smoked since. First two weeks were shitty, but just make sure you have something to do and eating nuts or candy instead.

[frodo]

don't listen to alvarez he's a fucking idiot. 2nd hand smoke is even more harmful than 1st hand, which we all know is harmful as fuck and causes all types of cancer's, despite alvarez grandpa who lived to be 85 smoking a pack a day :lol

1st hand smoking can be harmful as hell but it depends. experienced smokers can hold the smoke in the mouth, allowing very little of it to go down the throat into lungs so they only bear roughly the same level of harm as 2nd hand smokers, by breathing the populated air.

[benefactor]

Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use. However, my pill use is not hurting him, and I actually did something about it.

Also, he shows complete disregard for his own health. He had pneumonia this summer and spent two weeks coughing up blood and barely breathing. I begged him to go see a Doctor and he flat our refused. This is only one example. If he doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about mine?
This is a pretty big red flag from a relationship dynamic standpoint. The fact that he has no regard for his own well being shows that he far too selfish(won't go to the doctor or make a change to be more healthy for himself and you) and immature(throwing your issue[that you are persuing help for] back in your face when you show concern for his issue) to be in any sort of healthy relationship. You should really think hard about going any further with this guy. There are bigger issues you will face in the future. If this is the way he handles them then you are in for a long, painful ride.

[ashbeeigh]

My parents smoke and always have. I grew up with asthma and still have it. Some of it may be other reasons but the majority of the reason is because of that.

In 2nd grade I was hospitalized because of the asthma. The doctors suggest my parents stop smoking or smoke outside because it was horrible. What did they do? The smoked in an open room down the hall from me. Needless to say this has always been a losing battle.

Now I am 26 and yes, I still live with them. My clothes always have a hint of smoke, the house smells like ass and I always have a tingly smoky throat. Oh and the asthma is still kind of there. I'll never be a marathon runner. I worry about my chances of lung cancer just because of the 2nd hand smoke It's super gross.

I wouldn't go as far as saying "look dude, I'm not going to date you if you don't stop smoking..." but lay it out. It's dangerous to him and to you and those you love. Suggest that maybe you try to kick some type of habit you have while he tries to stop smoking less? Do you snore? Do you bite your nails? Do you drink a bit more than he does? Something so your a team while he tries. It's a hard habit to kick, as exhibited by my parents. Obviously it's a lost cause with them but maybe with your boyfriend you can get it through to him.

[tlongII]

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. Gross.

[Strike]

Thanks guys,

Yes, we are serious about each other. Right now is not a good time for us to find a place together mostly due to financial issues and my lack of a drivers license. Also, he has a very good deal on his current apartment. his landlord is an old friend of his and the place is nice.

I have brought up the smoking issue before. What usually happens is that he will smoke less (or move away from me when he smokes) for a few hours, but will always return to his normal smoking pattern.

I abused downers in pill form (mostly benzos and sleeping pills) during most of our relationship. However, I got into a program and am weaning of the pills with a doctor's help. I am currently taking 10% of the amount of pills I consumed a year ago. I should be completely clean in a few months according to my treatment plan.

Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use. However, my pill use is not hurting him, and I actually did something about it.

Also, he shows complete disregard for his own health. He had pneumonia this summer and spent two weeks coughing up blood and barely breathing. I begged him to go see a Doctor and he flat our refused. This is only one example. If he doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about mine?

Just break up with him and find someone that doesn't smoke, doesn't live with 50 year old roommates in an apartment run by his friend, and actually gives a shit about their own health.

[The Reckoning]

ive already died five times from it

[baseline bum]

Is this a BUMP thread?

:lol

[ALVAREZ6]

You guys (you, bf + roommates) should just do a collective fuck it with the cigs and start smoking this only:


http://www.concept420.com/images/how_to_roll_a_blunt.jpg

http://www.weed-porn.com/images/perfect-blunt.jpg

[Roddy Beaubois]

Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use.

:lol damn what a douche bag.

[JudynTX]

What about second hand smoke from weed? Can you get high from it? :D

[ashbeeigh]

What about second hand smoke from weed? Can you get high from it? :D

Yes.

[Trainwreck2100]

lol smokers

[Fabbs]

I wouldn't be concerned with anything health-related from what you've described.

Second hand smoke = not a concern

People in my family have lived 75-80+ years from smoking a pack a day themselves...any second hand smoke you are receiving is probably .0007% of the smoke these people smoked regularly, along with everyone else who lives that long, and I've heard that if you're a smoker and you quit permanently...your lungs are back to normal health in 4 years. The human body is pretty amazing. Now, after hearing that, it sounds pretty fucking amazing, but of course you can develop numerous cancers via smoking, but no chance of that through second hand smoke.

Health-wise, you should have little concern about the smoking.
http://www.mayitpleasethecourt.com/media/upload/marlboro%20man.jpg
http://www.hivehealthmedia.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/smoking-impotence.jpg

[desflood]

Second hand smoke = not a concern

but no chance of that through second hand smoke.

Health-wise, you should have little concern about the smoking.
Evidence suggests otherwise.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Tobacco/ETS


The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, the U.S. National Toxicology Program, the U.S. Surgeon General, and the International Agency for Research on Cancer have all classified secondhand smoke as a known human carcinogen (a cancer-causing agent).

Inhaling secondhand smoke causes lung cancer in nonsmoking adults. Approximately 3,000 lung cancer deaths occur each year among adult nonsmokers in the United States as a result of exposure to secondhand smoke. The U.S. Surgeon General estimates that living with a smoker increases a nonsmoker’s chances of developing lung cancer by 20 to 30 percent.

[mrsmaalox]

http://www.mayitpleasethecourt.com/media/upload/marlboro%20man.jpg
http://www.hivehealthmedia.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/smoking-impotence.jpg

Well that's probably one reason the 50yr old guys hang around there so much instead of having their own places/lives.

[silverblk mystix]

What if I asked YOU if I could just kill you by punching you in the face...just slowly...and continued punching you softly until your fuckin' brain began to bleed and kill you...

it is the same with second hand smoke...you are slowly killing yourself....but it is just a little bit at a time...so it is okay for you,right?

If you care about YOURSELF...dump this guy and choose to live a life withOUT something dangerous killing you slowly...

use your brain, please...

[MannyIsGod]

You know better. You know its bad for you and you're at increased risk if you stay in this situation for certain medical problems.

This doesn't mean you're going to need an iron lung to live in 2 years but it does increase your health risks.

If you want to keep dating this guy then do so. But you also know that its unlikely he's going to quit if you ask him to - especially if he's getting defensive when you bring it up. Every relationship has its set of things that you live with and every person has to decide when they find something in a person they're dating that they don't want to live with.

Either its worth it or its not but I really doubt the smoking is going to change. Its almost certainly not going to change while he lives with other smokers.

[Nick Manning]

The guy sounds like he hates himself...time to move on.

[Bender]

Evidence suggests otherwise.it's always 2nd hand cigarette smoke that cause problems with lungs. Can't be the constant breathing in of exhaust fumes while sitting in traffic, or walking down the street.. or even just being outside in the "fresh" (lol) air.

[Blake]

it's always 2nd hand cigarette smoke that cause problems with lungs. Can't be the constant breathing in of exhaust fumes while sitting in traffic, or walking down the street.. or even just being outside in the "fresh" (lol) air.

Can't be either, neither or both (lol)

[easjer]

You know better. You know its bad for you and you're at increased risk if you stay in this situation for certain medical problems.

This doesn't mean you're going to need an iron lung to live in 2 years but it does increase your health risks.

If you want to keep dating this guy then do so. But you also know that its unlikely he's going to quit if you ask him to - especially if he's getting defensive when you bring it up. Every relationship has its set of things that you live with and every person has to decide when they find something in a person they're dating that they don't want to live with.

Either its worth it or its not but I really doubt the smoking is going to change. Its almost certainly not going to change while he lives with other smokers.

^
That.

[Bender]

have you brought up just "cutting down" ? Maybe to half a pack a day.

[Bender]

http://www.mayitpleasethecourt.com/media/upload/marlboro%20man.jpg

next we are going to see ads about smoking causing penile warts, man boobs, premature baldness, and every other bad thing.

[frodo]

smokers are less likely to catch a cold than non-smokers tbh, so it's not necessarily a bad thing imho