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a chain-smoking single dude that lives with two other 50 year olds in an apartment that you've only known for a year.
you're concerned over your health.
k.
Does anybody else have experience with second hand smoke? I have been dating a guy for the past 13 months who smokes about a pack a day. He lives with two roomates who are at the apartment a lot who smoke about a pack a day as well. I spend the weekends at his house. The smell of smoke doesn't gross me out or bother me, but I am scared by the health dangers. I do not smoke at all, and sometimes by the middle of the weekend I can feel my chest hurting.
I know that there is a lot of information on the internet about second hand smoke. I am interested of hearing input from people who have been around second hand smoke and their experiences and how they dealt with this.
Also, is there any way to mitigate this this situation? My bf has been smoking for over 20 years, so he's not going to just quit. I myself know a few things about addiction, so I know that the change has to come from within. Also, I can't really say anything to his roomates (who are in their 50s and a lot older then both of us.)
Any input would be helpful.
Thanks
Last edited by David Bowie; 01-12-2011 at 01:50 AM.
a chain-smoking single dude that lives with two other 50 year olds in an apartment that you've only known for a year.
you're concerned over your health.
k.
Is this a BUMP thread?
sigh....this is the only forum I visit, I was hoping for some real responses. Should have known better.
I wouldn't be concerned with anything health-related from what you've described.
Second hand smoke = not a concern
People in my family have lived 75-80+ years from smoking a pack a day themselves...any second hand smoke you are receiving is probably .0007% of the smoke these people smoked regularly, along with everyone else who lives that long, and I've heard that if you're a smoker and you quit permanently...your lungs are back to normal health in 4 years. The human body is pretty amazing. Now, after hearing that, it sounds pretty ing amazing, but of course you can develop numerous cancers via smoking, but no chance of that through second hand smoke.
Health-wise, you should have little concern about the smoking.
Without really knowing all the details of the relationship/situation, it's hard to give good advice, but I'll try.
Do you have to stay at his place over the weekends? If not, mix it up sometimes and see if that makes you feel better or alleviate some of your symptoms. If this is someone your serious about (13 months is pretty serious, usually), then have you discussed getting a place together? Maybe financial issues are preventing you from that or there's other particulars...
Either way, chest pain is never a good thing...most of the time it means nothing, but if this is a recurring symptom you get every weekend, then you need to distance yourself from that place or rectify the sitch some other way. Hope it works out.
and with addiction, you are right that change needs to come from within...but a good support system can help be the catalyst for that change. You might have to try the gum, patch, hypnotherapy, etc...It can be frustrating as , but if it's someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, then it's worth it.
Thanks guys,
Yes, we are serious about each other. Right now is not a good time for us to find a place together mostly due to financial issues and my lack of a drivers license. Also, he has a very good deal on his current apartment. his landlord is an old friend of his and the place is nice.
I have brought up the smoking issue before. What usually happens is that he will smoke less (or move away from me when he smokes) for a few hours, but will always return to his normal smoking pattern.
I abused downers in pill form (mostly benzos and sleeping pills) during most of our relationship. However, I got into a program and am weaning of the pills with a doctor's help. I am currently taking 10% of the amount of pills I consumed a year ago. I should be completely clean in a few months according to my treatment plan.
Whenever I bring up the smoking issue, he brings up my pill use. However, my pill use is not hurting him, and I actually did something about it.
Also, he shows complete disregard for his own health. He had pneumonia this summer and spent two weeks coughing up blood and barely breathing. I begged him to go see a Doctor and he flat our refused. This is only one example. If he doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about mine?
Nah, he's 32. His roomates are older. He knows them from his previous job.
I used to love me some benzos back in college. Xaney bars, valium, klonopin, etc.
Sounds like ur b/f works construction
He clearly doesn't care about your health either. Tyson's right though, I don't understand what's so special about him that's worth the chest pains and creepy old roommates. Maybe the sex is great, who knows...doesn't sound like a real solid situation to be in.
If this is a trolljob, then props to whoever you are
2nd hand smoke is just as bad. Just make people smoke outside. I mean, why should you breathe the waste smoke of someone else.
As for quitting. I smoked a lot but I did not want the smell and the health dangers anymore, so I quit. I don't believe in nicotine gum, medical help, books, electronic cigarettes, etcetera. I think it's all a mind thing. If someone really wants to quit, he/she will, without gums, medical help, books and all that bull what's supposed to help you quit.
I just quit cold turkey and have not smoked since. First two weeks were ty, but just make sure you have something to do and eating nuts or candy instead.
1st hand smoking can be harmful as but it depends. experienced smokers can hold the smoke in the mouth, allowing very little of it to go down the throat into lungs so they only bear roughly the same level of harm as 2nd hand smokers, by breathing the populated air.don't listen to alvarez he's a ing idiot. 2nd hand smoke is even more harmful than 1st hand, which we all know is harmful as and causes all types of cancer's, despite alvarez grandpa who lived to be 85 smoking a pack a day
This is a pretty big red flag from a relationship dynamic standpoint. The fact that he has no regard for his own well being shows that he far too selfish(won't go to the doctor or make a change to be more healthy for himself and you) and immature(throwing your issue[that you are persuing help for] back in your face when you show concern for his issue) to be in any sort of healthy relationship. You should really think hard about going any further with this guy. There are bigger issues you will face in the future. If this is the way he handles them then you are in for a long, painful ride.
My parents smoke and always have. I grew up with asthma and still have it. Some of it may be other reasons but the majority of the reason is because of that.
In 2nd grade I was hospitalized because of the asthma. The doctors suggest my parents stop smoking or smoke outside because it was horrible. What did they do? The smoked in an open room down the hall from me. Needless to say this has always been a losing battle.
Now I am 26 and yes, I still live with them. My clothes always have a hint of smoke, the house smells like ass and I always have a tingly smoky throat. Oh and the asthma is still kind of there. I'll never be a marathon runner. I worry about my chances of lung cancer just because of the 2nd hand smoke It's super gross.
I wouldn't go as far as saying "look dude, I'm not going to date you if you don't stop smoking..." but lay it out. It's dangerous to him and to you and those you love. Suggest that maybe you try to kick some type of habit you have while he tries to stop smoking less? Do you snore? Do you bite your nails? Do you drink a bit more than he does? Something so your a team while he tries. It's a hard habit to kick, as exhibited by my parents. Obviously it's a lost cause with them but maybe with your boyfriend you can get it through to him.
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. Gross.
Just break up with him and find someone that doesn't smoke, doesn't live with 50 year old roommates in an apartment run by his friend, and actually gives a about their own health.
ive already died five times from it
You guys (you, bf + roommates) should just do a collective it with the cigs and start smoking this only:
damn what a bag.
What about second hand smoke from weed? Can you get high from it?
Yes.What about second hand smoke from weed? Can you get high from it?
lol smokers
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