View Full Version : Damnit...
Well, lunch is over and I need to crap.
One of the "joys" out here on the jobsite is the bonus of getting to use porta cans.
Now look, I enjoy sweating my ass off while sitting in these little plastic confines of restroom bliss just as much as the next guy, but I'm tired of the magic blue water splashing up on my backside and dyeing my skivvies.
My wife thinks I was sodomized by a smurf.
HotAssComic
08-23-2005, 12:45 PM
:rollin LOL... That sucks for you dude... Good luck with that...
Does it make her tongue blue?
PHANTOM21
08-23-2005, 12:48 PM
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to fuck around with smurfs?
Shelly
08-23-2005, 12:51 PM
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
samikeyp
08-23-2005, 12:59 PM
Sodomy Smurf?
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 01:26 PM
your timing is off 1369. you should have morning craps, right after you rise, preferably before your shower.
that way, the only way you have to drop a load at lunchtime is if you eat a hippo like keda. :tu
Trainwreck2100
08-23-2005, 01:30 PM
your timing is off 1369. you should have morning craps, right after you rise, preferably before your shower.
that way, the only way you have to drop a load at lunchtime is if you eat a hippo like keda. :tu
Hell yeah, morning craps are the shit.
Does that sound right?
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 01:31 PM
take out the does that sound right and you got comedy gold brother. :tu
batman2883
08-23-2005, 01:33 PM
Man im glad our restrooms here are clean enough for me to poop in
ObiwanGinobili
08-23-2005, 01:34 PM
your timing is off 1369. you should have morning craps, right after you rise, preferably before your shower.
that way, the only way you have to drop a load at lunchtime is if you eat a hippo like keda. :tu
me and mine have always been big fans of the "just home from work right before you shower" crap. :tu
It's like your completly gettign rid of al lthe shit you put up with that day.. then you get into the shower and scrub... by time you join hte rest of the household it's liek your a brand new person. :spin
1Parker1
08-23-2005, 01:48 PM
:lmao.........did someone start a thread about taking a dump?!
HotAssComic
08-23-2005, 01:55 PM
NOT ONLY did they start a thread about taking a dump... the thread is growing...
So don't come in here shitting on this topic please!
1Parker1
08-23-2005, 01:58 PM
NOT ONLY did they start a thread about taking a dump... the thread is growing...
So don't come in here shitting on this topic please!
:wtf no pun intended?
Shelly
08-23-2005, 02:02 PM
My youngest is fond of using at least a half a roll of toilet paper. A few years ago, he clogged the toilet so bad that I had to go buy a snake.
I think he holds the house record for clogging the toilet.
Trainwreck2100
08-23-2005, 02:08 PM
take out the does that sound right and you got comedy gold brother. :tu
Morning craps are the shit, every time i say that it just sounds a little off.
MannyIsGod
08-23-2005, 02:20 PM
Get some of the rought stuff, Shelly. That'll teach him. :)
sa_butta
08-23-2005, 02:22 PM
What a shitty thread.
SpursWoman
08-23-2005, 02:23 PM
Get some of the rought stuff, Shelly. That'll teach him. :)
Man, that's one of 3 things you never, I repeat NEVER....buy generic. The other 2 being cheese & peanut butter.
:lol
Spurminator
08-23-2005, 02:25 PM
your timing is off 1369. you should have morning craps, right after you rise, preferably before your shower.
that way, the only way you have to drop a load at lunchtime is if you eat a hippo like keda.
I have both, usually.
I don't know about y'all, but just the smell of my morning coffee gets my fudge machine activated...
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 02:27 PM
own it trainwreck...
Morning Craps R Da SHIT! FUCK YAH!
where is sequ's little potty ass...he always loves a good shit convo.
i have a question. How clean can you clean your ass before it becomes gay?
Thanks in advance. :tu
SWC Bonfire
08-23-2005, 02:27 PM
Man, that's one of 3 things you never, I repeat NEVER....buy generic. The other 2 being cheese & peanut butter.
:lol
Eat a bunch of generic government cheese and you won't need much toilet paper. :lol
batman2883
08-23-2005, 02:28 PM
Okay okay, three scientists were collecting specimens for their research in the hills of a jungle when they all fall into a hole. The hole seems to be a trap, soon a tribe shows up and offers them to either die or choose mumba....well the three look at each other and first scientist is like i have to so much more i want to do in life i choose mumba, so the tribe takes him aside where they all form a line and all take turns raping him. The other two look at each other like oh shit.....well the next scientist is like damn after seeing that, i dont know what to do, i want to live but i dont know if i could live right after that.......but after careful deliberation chooses mumba...they line up again and all take turns raping him. The last scientist stands up proud and shouts....fuck you guys you can take your dicks and fuck yourselves i choose death.........so the cheif of the tribe stands up and yells back.......death by mumba......oh
Spurminator
08-23-2005, 02:28 PM
Well, an ass is never completely clean unless it is also shaven. And I'm pretty sure that's gay... But it's something I've considered anyway.
Trainwreck2100
08-23-2005, 02:29 PM
Eat a bunch of generic government cheese and you won't need much toilet paper. :lol
Also, couldn't you use the cheese as an emergency TP substitute.
batman2883
08-23-2005, 02:31 PM
Well, an ass is never completely clean unless it is also shaven. And I'm pretty sure that's gay... But it's something I've considered anyway.
dingleberries hang from my hair ive debated shaving it too
HotAssComic
08-23-2005, 02:33 PM
:oops This thread made a wrong turn somewhere...
SpursWoman
08-23-2005, 02:34 PM
Eat a bunch of generic government cheese and you won't need much toilet paper. :lol
Peanut butter too, for that matter..... :lol
Horry For 3!
08-23-2005, 02:35 PM
I just took a crap.
MiNuS
08-23-2005, 02:36 PM
that was a f-ing good laugh!!!!
you will now be called "blue cheeks"
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 02:37 PM
okay, back on track, for the record, SHAVING your ass is BIG TIME FUCKING GAY. were talking Gig-Rap Gay. I don't give a fuck if your the swimming champion of the world or if your ass looks like Bigfoots. That is a no no and quite frankly, i'm not liking the imagery that i can't help from popping into my head. GET OUT GOTDAMIT!!! :pctoss
1Parker1
08-23-2005, 02:41 PM
dingleberries hang from my hair ive debated shaving it too
:throwupsp
okay, back on track, for the record, SHAVING your ass is BIG TIME FUCKING GAY. were talking Gig-Rap Gay. I don't give a fuck if your the swimming champion of the world or if your ass looks like Bigfoots. That is a no no and quite frankly, i'm not liking the imagery that i can't help from popping into my head. GET OUT GOTDAMIT!!! :pctoss
Agreed.
I'm trying to wrap my brain on exactly how one would go about performing the deed solo and the mental images of yogarisingsunposeholdthemirrorat37.5degreeanglerem emberthingsreflectinreverse evolution are disturbing.
ObiwanGinobili
08-23-2005, 02:50 PM
how much fucking hair do you guys have on your anus's that dingleberry's are an actual concern and not just a crude trailer trash joke??? :wtf
Maybe if you just spent more time wiping. Or if you got soem of those charmin wet wipes.
I swear my husband spends more time wiping then he does crapping. His ass is so clean you could eat dinner off of it. If your name was GIG and you were into that.
Kip Fanatic
08-23-2005, 02:51 PM
Monrning crap? Yes.
As soon as I get home from work crap? Yes.
Taking a dump in a public restroom or at work/school? No. I will never be comfortable with that. I'll hold it for hours if I have to, but I will not do #2 at work/school or in a public facility.
ObiwanGinobili
08-23-2005, 02:53 PM
I agree with Kip.
I never take a crap outside of the house.I'll hold it all day and longer if need be till i get home ot my very own toilet.
And never at friends houses. I will take a crap at my in-laws house or my moms house tho.
nickbroken
08-23-2005, 02:54 PM
This thread is just wrong on so many levels.
I agree with Kip.
I never take a crap outside of the house.I'll hold it all day and longer if need be till i get home ot my very own toilet.
And never at friends houses. I will take a crap at my in-laws house or my moms house tho.
Well, if you do find yourself caught short and have to use one of the wonderful plastic/fiberglass jobbies, bring your own shit tickets (I do now), because the stuff they stock them with is akin to wiping your ass with wax paper.
HotAssComic
08-23-2005, 02:58 PM
Taking a dump at work: UNPLEASANT :nope
Taking a dump in a public restroom while you are out: REVOLTING :vomit
Taking a morning dump in the comfort of your own home: PRICELESS...
:spin
There are some things money can't buy...
Spurminator
08-23-2005, 02:59 PM
Maybe if you just spent more time wiping.
But that's the problem... If one averages 7 to 8 wipes per dump due to the prevalence of turdlets sticking to one's asshair, one might explore options to cut down on the TP waste. Morning dumps are often softer than evening dumps, so there tends to be more residue.
Of course, the problem is where to stop. If your ass is shaven but you still have hair below the ass, that just looks ridiculous.
SWC Bonfire
08-23-2005, 02:59 PM
because the stuff they stock them with is akin to wiping your ass with wax paper.
John Wayne brand toilet paper: Rough, tough & won't take shit off anybody.
The fear of performing a normal bodily function in a different location is pretty silly to me.
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 03:01 PM
this thread is quickly going into the toilet.
Kip Fanatic
08-23-2005, 03:08 PM
For some strange this topic is making the day at work a lot better. I thought I was the only one who loved taking a dump in the morning and right after work at the house.
batman2883
08-23-2005, 03:08 PM
Dude diarrhea makes dingleberries happen even if you have minute hair in that area
Slomo
08-23-2005, 03:09 PM
John Wayne brand toilet paper: Rough, tough & won't take shit off anybody.
Never heard that one before!
:lmao
your timing is off 1369. you should have morning craps, right after you rise, preferably before your shower.
that way, the only way you have to drop a load at lunchtime is if you eat a hippo like keda. :tu
Bro, you should have seen the amount of toothpicks I had to use after that escapade!
bigzak25
08-23-2005, 03:23 PM
Bro, you should have seen the amount of toothpicks I had to use after that escapade!
RACK! :lol
dude, you take your chances with crusty hippo gina. we've all been there.
RACK! :lol
dude, you take your chances with crusty hippo gina. we've all been there.
thats why I carry the Horse blinders, keeps me focused on the task at hand!
ObiwanGinobili
08-23-2005, 03:54 PM
Well, if you do find yourself caught short and have to use one of the wonderful plastic/fiberglass jobbies, bring your own shit tickets (I do now), because the stuff they stock them with is akin to wiping your ass with wax paper.
I'll remeber.
However, as a woman I have had to use the fiberglass shit box on several occasions for pissing. (bocktoberfest comes to mind)
I have never ever ever let my precious bum touch the seat. Hovering is a necessity in those situations. I'm allready teaching my daughter to hover. It;s a life skill.
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