True or false, this belongs in the bathroom?

[MultiTroll]

Toilet paper.

Some say all the chemicals leech right into your body.
Why your white toilet paper is toxic.

Did you know that there are more than 100,000 chemicals used in commercial paper products? Yikes! One of the worst chemicals used is chlorine. It’s pretty much in most products we use day to day such as baby wipes, paper towels, coffee filters, milk cartons, etc. These toxic substances enter through our skin and get into our blood. The most dangerous of these toxins is chlorine and unfortunately, most conventional toilet paper is processed with chlorine bleach. Chlorine bleach creates dangerous toxins such as dioxin and furans. These toxins accumulate in our bodies, creating a dangerous situation for our health.
http://www.lahealthyliving.com/health/why-your-white-toilet-paper-is-toxic/

[MultiTroll]

Should a U.S. household that can afford it get a French bidet?
https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.M90ab24ba7eb6114e66b11a91f069b815H0&w=262&h=277&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0 (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=french+bidet&view=detailv2&&id=576F8B4DBB2AA26741D9489F62FA0A90CFF46615&selectedIndex=1&ccid=kKskun62&simid=608021929611559315&thid=OIP.M90ab24ba7eb6114e66b11a91f069b815H0)
https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.M537c57e5a9662587f1bda8f4c86599dfo0&w=219&h=164&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0 (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=french+bidet&view=detailv2&&id=98EED47855540456BB5CC738827DB16E506163B7&selectedIndex=8&ccid=U3xX5alm&simid=608016917387871037&thid=OIP.M537c57e5a9662587f1bda8f4c86599dfo0)

[SpursforSix]

Should a U.S. household that can afford it get a French bidet?
https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.M90ab24ba7eb6114e66b11a91f069b815H0&w=262&h=277&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0 (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=french+bidet&view=detailv2&&id=576F8B4DBB2AA26741D9489F62FA0A90CFF46615&selectedIndex=1&ccid=kKskun62&simid=608021929611559315&thid=OIP.M90ab24ba7eb6114e66b11a91f069b815H0)
https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.M537c57e5a9662587f1bda8f4c86599dfo0&w=219&h=164&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0 (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=french+bidet&view=detailv2&&id=98EED47855540456BB5CC738827DB16E506163B7&selectedIndex=8&ccid=U3xX5alm&simid=608016917387871037&thid=OIP.M537c57e5a9662587f1bda8f4c86599dfo0)

That's what the shower is for.

[MultiTroll]

That's what the shower is for.
Requires clothes off.
Bidet one can dump, enjoy the water spout and get right back to work.

[DAF86]

That's what the shower is for.

Lol no son. Who the fuck showers everytime they take a dump?

Bidets are a fucking necessity. I don't know how the fuck can you live moving around with your dirty ass assholes all day long.

[I. Hustle]

So how do bidets work? I mean, I know they shoot water up your ass but do you still wipe? Never used one.

[Blake]

How do you dry your ass after the rinse?

[Blake]

I use wet wipes, although now saws is saying the flushable wipes aren't really flushable. They're clogging up pipes

[SpursforSix]

Lol no son. Who the fuck showers everytime they take a dump?

Bidets are a fucking necessity. I don't know how the fuck can you live moving around with your dirty ass assholes all day long.

For me...about 85% of the time. I'm pretty regular so I poop once a day in the morning before my shower.

[SpursforSix]

Requires clothes off.
Bidet one can dump, enjoy the water spout and get right back to work.

Next time I use a bathroom with a bidet, I think I'll poop in it.

[DAF86]

For me...about 85% of the time. I'm pretty regular so I poop once a day in the morning before my shower.

Well, your case isn't the norm son. God bless.

[DAF86]

So how do bidets work? I mean, I know they shoot water up your ass but do you still wipe? Never used one.


How do you dry your ass after the rinse?

You wipe with soap like you do when you shower. And then dry it with a towel (one specially used for this. You don't want to be mixing your hand and face towels with your ass towels, tbh). If you want you can use toilet paper after using the bidet, and before using the towel, to make sure nothing was left and don't get shit in your towel (you always use the toilet paper before using the bidet).

So:

-Take a shit
-Toilet paper
-Bidet
-toilet paper*(if you want)
-Towel

[SpursforSix]

Well, your case isn't the norm son. God bless.

You seem to have a decent understand of bidets. What's to keep small pieces of feces from falling back into the sprayer when done? So that the next person that uses it might have said feces shot back to his anus?

[Blake]

You wipe with soap like you do when you shower. And then dry it with a towel (one specially used for this. You don't want to be mixing your hand and face towels with your ass towels, tbh). If you want you can use toilet paper after using the bidet, and before using the towel, to make sure nothing was left and don't get shit in your towel (you always use the toilet paper before using the bidet).

So:

-Take a shit
-Toilet paper
-Bidet
-toilet paper*(if you want)
-Towel

Soap? Ass towels? 2ND round of toilet paper on wet ass cheeks?

So many more questions. So little time.

[DAF86]

You seem to have a decent understand of bidets. What's to keep small pieces of feces from falling back into the sprayer when done? So that the next person that uses it might have said feces shot back to his anus?

:lol

A piece of feces that is small enough to get into the sprayer wouldn't be able to sustain the pressure of the flow of water.

[DAF86]

Soap? Ass towels? 2ND round of toilet paper on wet ass cheeks?

So many more questions. So little time.

Yeah, the second round of toilet paper on wet ass isn't my thing. But I don't know what's so difficult to understand about the other things. Every bidet comes with its on recipient to have your exclusive bidet soap and a hanger for the exclusive bidet towel.

[MultiTroll]

Next time I use a bathroom with a bidet, I think I'll poop in it.
You do that in one of my hotels and I will see to it the staff shoves a metallic phallic object far far up your arse before shipping you off to the local precinct for booking.

Of course we know you never leave the house so this is not going to happen.

[I. Hustle]

Ok... so this is really interesting. Sorry if the questions sound dumb but it's all three seashells to me. You use the same towel EVERY time? or do you have a designated area for your towel? You soap your ass down every time? So it's basically just an ass shower? Do some people just have ass loofas (sp?) instead of towels?

What if you grab someone else's ass soap by mistake? I would throw up.

[SpursforSix]

:lol

A piece of feces that is small enough to get into the sprayer wouldn't be able to sustain the pressure of the flow of water.

So it gets broken into a bunch of even smaller pieces. It's just not going to disappear is it?

Or maybe it's a bigger piece that just falls on top of one of the holes. Just sitting there...waiting to be sprayed up into someone else's butt.

[DJR210]

Lol no son. Who the fuck showers everytime they take a dump?

Bidets are a fucking necessity. I don't know how the fuck can you live moving around with your dirty ass assholes all day long.

Damn, you gotta stay ready just in case a midday salad tossing presents itself or what?

[I. Hustle]

Are there different pressures? CTOA likes a whole lotta pressure if it's going to go up his butt. He wants to taste the water.

[DJR210]

You wipe with soap like you do when you shower. And then dry it with a towel (one specially used for this. You don't want to be mixing your hand and face towels with your ass towels, tbh). If you want you can use toilet paper after using the bidet, and before using the towel, to make sure nothing was left and don't get shit in your towel (you always use the toilet paper before using the bidet).

So:

-Take a shit
-Toilet paper
-Bidet
-toilet paper*(if you want)
-Towel

Are these towels provided by the establishment, or do you have to carry your own shit towel every day?

[SpursforSix]

Are there different pressures? CTOA likes a whole lotta pressure if it's going to go up his butt. He wants to taste the water.

If a bidet didn't have a lot of pressure, I'm not sure that I would be satisfied that it got everything. At least in the shower, I can kind of accidentally stick my finger in there and make sure it's clean. Then wash my finger. I'm not sure I could do all that squatting over a bidet.

[UZER]

:lol this thread is cracking me up

[DMC]

When you get older you'll need the bidet just to relieve swamp ass. You haven't shit all day, but you're farming liquid fudge in the bayou beneath the SAC base near Mt Baldy.

[SpursforSix]

When you get older you'll need the bidet just to relieve swamp ass. You haven't shit all day, but you're farming liquid fudge in the bayou beneath the SAC base near Mt Baldy.

When I get that old, I'll skip the toilet and just go in the shower. It'll go right down the drain. If there's any peanuts or corn, I'll just mash them down the drain with my club foot.

[DAF86]

So it gets broken into a bunch of even smaller pieces. It's just not going to disappear is it?

Or maybe it's a bigger piece that just falls on top of one of the holes. Just sitting there...waiting to be sprayed up into someone else's butt.

Yes, then you have to ask your boyfriend to lick it off.

[DAF86]

Are there different pressures? CTOA likes a whole lotta pressure if it's going to go up his butt. He wants to taste the water.

Yes son, you can graduate the pressure depending on how good it feels.

[DAF86]

Ok... so this is really interesting. Sorry if the questions sound dumb but it's all three seashells to me. You use the same towel EVERY time? or do you have a designated area for your towel? You soap your ass down every time? So it's basically just an ass shower? Do some people just have ass loofas (sp?) instead of towels?

What if you grab someone else's ass soap by mistake? I would throw up.

You share the same shower soap with the rest of your family don't you? Think about which is the last place they wipe before they get off the shower, and what's the first place you wipe when you get in, tbh.

Bidet soap is better 'cause is just a fair ass on ass war.

[DAF86]

Are these towels provided by the establishment, or do you have to carry your own shit towel every day?

Shit towel is communitary son and the ratio of towels per week depends on how much laundry your wife likes doing, tbh.

[DAF86]

If a bidet didn't have a lot of pressure, I'm not sure that I would be satisfied that it got everything. At least in the shower, I can kind of accidentally stick my finger in there and make sure it's clean. Then wash my finger. I'm not sure I could do all that squatting over a bidet.

That's a perfectly valid technic son. God bless.

[SpursforSix]

Yes son, you can graduate the pressure depending on how good it feels.

IHustle wants me to ask you if you can increase the pressure to the equivalent of two black weeniers coming in your butt at the same time.

[DAF86]

IHustle wants me to ask you if you can increase the pressure to the equivalent of two black weeniers coming in your butt at the same time.

Wouldn't be able to tell good sir. You should ask lefty, he's kind of French so he should know about bidets and black weeniers.

[SpursforSix]

Wouldn't be able to tell good sir. You should ask lefty, he's kind of French so he should know about bidets and black weeniers.

I'm sure it's simple math. Just anal physics.

[Blake]

You share the same shower soap with the rest of your family don't you?

Yeah, it's 2016, not 1992. Even the peasants here in the States use liquid soap.

[DMC]

When you post about blood around your knuckle on your middle finger and ask if that means you might have colon cancer, were not going to discuss your colon or your medical condition. We're going to discuss why you had your finger up your ass.

[DAF86]

Yeah, it's 2016, not 1992. Even the peasants here in the States use liquid soap.

Well, use liquid soap if you want.

[Jacob1983]

Showerhead is way cheaper and more effective on wiping asses. You will save a lot of money on toilet paper if you use a showerhead to wipe yo ass.

[boutons_deux]

Yeah, it's 2016, not 1992. Even the peasants here in the States use liquid soap.

Liquid soap is a corporate scam. Do you really think BigPersonalCareCorp "innovates" anything to save you money? :lol

You use more of it than you need, so you spend more versus cheap bar soap, it's full of chemicals, and then you put the plastic soap container into the city dump.

And you use shaving foam from a can, too? :lol

[I. Hustle]

You share the same shower soap with the rest of your family don't you? Think about which is the last place they wipe before they get off the shower, and what's the first place you wipe when you get in, tbh.

Bidet soap is better 'cause is just a fair ass on ass war.


No I do not. I use shower gel.

[I. Hustle]

IHustle wants me to ask you if you can increase the pressure to the equivalent of two black weeniers coming in your butt at the same time.

You weren't supposed to use my name.

[Blake]

Liquid soap is a corporate scam. Do you really think BigPersonalCareCorp "innovates" anything to save you money? :lol

You use more of it than you need, so you spend more versus cheap bar soap, it's full of chemicals, and then you put the plastic soap container into the city dump.

And you use shaving foam from a can, too? :lol

Make sure you're conserving water too.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/25/Ivoryso2.jpg/240px-Ivoryso2.jpg