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SoCalSpursFan
03-24-2006, 02:03 PM
Sorry, but Jack Bauer would kill the Spurs in a game.

Literally.

Jack Bauer has a street named after him in Los Angeles, but they had to rename it because people kept dying when they walked across it. Why? Because NOBODY crosses Jack Bauer.
spurs_fan_in_exile
03-24-2006, 02:08 PM
Jack Bauer owns a set of encyclopedias but has never read them. Instead he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 03:40 PM
Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Jack Bauer.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 03:51 PM
If Jack Bauer were in charge in Iraq, the insurgents all would be killed in 24 hours.
slayermin
03-24-2006, 03:53 PM
I think Jack Bauer is better at narrating car commercials.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:02 PM
When Jack Bauer goes in an old house, he never says "If these walls could talk." He makes them talk.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:04 PM
If Jack Bauer had been in charge of saving Private Ryan, there wouldn't be any more Germans.
spurs_fan_in_exile
03-24-2006, 04:12 PM
God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and rested on the seventh. The first season of 24 was the untold story of how Jack filled in while the Lord was resting.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:18 PM
If a tree falls in a forest, and there is nobody around, Jack Bauer hears it.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:19 PM
Jack Bauer is making a remake of "It's A Wonderful Life," only this time, every time a bell rings, he kills a terrorist.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:28 PM
Jack Bauer can get a McRib sandwich whenever he wants.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:33 PM
Jack Bauer's first word was "NOW!"
Solid D
03-24-2006, 04:45 PM
http://angelmapper.com/WhiteViewports.jpg

Jack Bauer cried when he met Ditka and Chuck Norris.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:45 PM
God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and rested on the seventh. The first season of 24 was the untold story of how Jack filled in while the Lord was resting.
God took six days to create the heavens and the earth. Jack Bauer doesn't have that kind of time.
T Park
03-24-2006, 04:45 PM
Jack Bauer is making a remake of "It's A Wonderful Life," only this time, every time a bell rings, he kills a terrorist.

:lmao


Jack Bauer, is easily the baddest Mofo ever created.

Jack bauer > everything. :smokin
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:55 PM
They don't have to teach kids problem-solving in math class anymore. Jack Bauer solves all problems.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 04:57 PM
You can't walk a mile in Jack Bauer's shoes. You won't get near that far before he finds you.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 05:00 PM
There's a wise saying, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Unless Jack Bauer is your enemy. Then you're fucked."
easjer
03-24-2006, 05:07 PM
:lol @the entire thread.
Extra Stout
03-24-2006, 05:15 PM
Q: What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?

A: Jack Bauer.
Leetonidas
03-24-2006, 05:40 PM
http://chucknorrisfacts.com/

:rolleyes
ShoogarBear
03-24-2006, 05:45 PM
Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Bowen

?

:smokin
Trainwreck2100
03-24-2006, 05:52 PM
If Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris would fight, it would shake the earth to it's core, thus there has been an uneasy truce after the tsunami of 04
Solid D
03-24-2006, 06:20 PM
Jack Bauer vs. Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Bowen

?
:smokin


http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/TV/9805/28/hartman.snl/farley.jpg

I'd have to go wit..ah, Ditka.
ShoogarBear
03-24-2006, 06:25 PM
:rollin
Trainwreck2100
03-24-2006, 06:27 PM
Best line ever
"who would win between Mike Ditka and a hurricane, here's the catch the hurricane's name is hurricane Ditka."
SoCalSpursFan
03-25-2006, 06:46 PM
Jack Bauer and Tim Duncan vs Chuck Norris and Manu?