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Thanks man. Seeing them hand back his possessions, his glasses, his hat, rings, of course I’m keeping these things but it’s just awful.
Sorry for your loss, bro. I cant even imagine how tough it must be.
Thanks man. Seeing them hand back his possessions, his glasses, his hat, rings, of course I’m keeping these things but it’s just awful.
Condolences again -
may sound strange - but I have actually discovered that my dad and mom visit me in dreams - and it used to suck -
then it changed -
and i really look forward to seeing them in my dreams - i wake up feeling happy now when it happens - it just feels like a blessing.
Its hard.
Understanding that this is life - we all must go. No exceptions. Makes the present really valuable - and you discover that cherishing the present and the loved ones around right now - is really all that we have.
It will pass - you never really get over it - but you always feel like they are somehow still with you. Makes you act better.
IME - anyway.
Just breathe. Allow moments to come and go. Don't listen to those who insist you must "stay busy" - "get lost in your work"
"always do something - don't sit around...etc"
learn to just allow things to be - without trying to run away from it, distraction, denial,etc
feel it...understand it...leave the feelings/emotions/waves/dark clouds alone
leave them be
dont welcome it either - just tell yourself that these feeling are going to arrive...do their thing...and then move on until the next dark cloud arrives
it will seem strange - but it will pass and instead of fighting it or trying to "fix" anything -
you just allow "it" to do its thing and then move along
quite a discovery you have to look forward to ...just stay steady and allow things to pass thru you and then be patient until it moves on
in time - the pain lessens and you remember the fond times ...
Joining the movement. Done. A shame you can’t hide threads created by that poster as well.
Back to the thread, my condolences my man. My parents are both still living. But my pops is having some health issues and probably only has a few years left. Gonna be a mess when it happens tbh
Thoughts and prayers.
truly sorry to hear, deepest condolences
Very sorry. I know exactly what you’re going through. It’s going to be rough for a while.
You may get a sign that he’s still looking out for you, something happens that’s very ironic, or a visit or a message in a dream. That may help you process things as time goes by. It will get better eventually.
Spiritual teachers say death is an illusion, and we will always have the present moment. I think that’s true.
Condolences to your family during these difficult times.
I’m very sorry for your loss, djohn. I lost my mom very suddenly and unexpectedly 10 years ago. We had our usual happy news phone call one beautiful Tuesday morning, she told me she had to rush off to get ready for some event that day and would call me back later. An hour later my brother called and said my dad found her unresponsive in the bathroom and that the firefighters were doing cpr and getting ready to transport. I think I set a record getting to the SA airport and on a flight to El Paso in less than an hour, but she was gone by the time I got there. The hardest part was comforting my dad, as his heart was broken in a million pieces. That first night was horrible as he wailed and cried all night.
But then morning came and people started coming. They came from all over the city and country, they brought us food and love and they held us in their arms and shared our grief. The love and support lifted me and I was able to find some peace and the strength to carry my dad though it. Her funeral was a grand celebration of her life and memory, and a reunion with relatives and friends I had not seen in years. That day I decided that the “heart full of love” feeling I had was something I wanted to feel EVERY day and I made up my mind to seek it for the rest of my life. To every person who hugged me, comforted me, reached out to me I silently promised to be there for them and try to give them the warmth they gave me. And I have kept that promise. I am that person who shows up to every funeral, wedding or birth, brings food, sends cards and flowers, donates money and reaches out to make sure no one is forgotten. I maintain contact with every person who touches my heart.
My mom’s death changed me. I struggled for most of my adult life trying to understand why the powers that be put me here and what my role should be. Well I still don’t know why I was put here, but I realized the only thing in my control was whether I would be a positive or negative force on this world. I decided positive and I actively work on it. Every day of my life. Seek out ways to help. Volunteer, donate, support.
My mother and I didn’t always have a great relationship, it was very contentious most of the time. My mom was a fiercely stubborn and independent woman and was hard to get close to. The absolute last thing she wanted in her life was to be a burden on anyone. So I’m glad she went how she wanted, never having to ask me or depend on me for anything. I no longer save or hold on to love— I give it freely and generously to anyone who’ll take it. This is a gift my mother gave to me.
Djohn, your father is in your heart, he will never leave you. YOU ARE HIM. And comfort will come to you by living your life in a way that honors him and makes use of the love he gave you. Again, my sincere condolences to you and your family. Love WILL carry you.
sucks. RIP.
Sorry for your loss bro-ham.
My condolences, brother. My Dad is turning 70 in April, and even though he’s still spry and in good health, I can’t imagine not having either of my parents around, too scared to ponder it. Not only does the thought of that stress me, but it’ll also mean I’m on deck to be next in the grave in our family line. Enjoy every moment, and if you live far away from them like I do, call them everyday and say you love them.
It sucks. You never really get over it, but you learn to accept it. I hated seeing my dad die. It’s been 5 years but I still think about him all the time.
well, I was an adult when they both died, two years apart. I was in a long term relationship when my Dad died and leaned on her. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him and wish I could talk to him again. She was still my lady when my Mom passed, this time, I also had an infant daughter. I miss her dearly. As a child she didn't seem to be that humorous, but as I grew older, I found her to be quite hilarious and quick witted. Though I miss them, I am glad that they passed on, because both were extremely ill and suffering through pain, and their bodies shutting down. At least both had full mental capacities up until the end. My lady, who is now my wife, my daughter and step kids are what kept me going. I have a family of my own that I am responsible for. I couldn't just curl up in the fetal position in the corner. I had to work and pay bills. I had to help raise the little ones. I had to help my wife manage the household.
What hurts the most is that my daughter never got to meet my Dad, just as I was born after his Dad passed away. I see a lot of my Mom in my daughter.
Condolences... lost my dad last year. He was 90, so he had a few close calls before then, and frankly, while it sucks, he lived a long, full life.
Just extra tough these days with COVID, depending where you are.
sucks.... just spend as much time with ur mom and the rest of the family if u can for a while.... and yea, its ok to cry or be pissed..... my condolences.
one more thing....talk to your mom as much as you can. Ask her all the questions you can think to ask about her past, your past, your family past. Learn recipes, family stories.....whatever knowledge you can soak in. Cause once they are gone, you have no one left to tell you any of that. That is what I miss the most, the conversations, discussions, disagreements, and learning about who I am and where I came from. I am so proud of my name because my parents talked to me about our history and ups and downs. There is a lot that I never knew on my Dad's side, cause he kept a lot to himself. I wish he was more open about his side of the family, but that is just how he was.
Lost my mom a couple decades ago, my dad is on the edge. It makes you feel alone, even if you are grown and have kids and grandkids. They are part of your core iden y so losing them is in effect losing you. Remember those you have and that you aren't alone.
Our deepest condolence, djohn2008 ����
Sorry for your loss.
I don't think you ever get "through" it. You just start thinking about it less. When my Dad died I found a bunch of I would do during the course of my day triggering memories of being a kid and it was tough for a few months.
Condolences, it leaves a hole in your life and it's hard to come to terms with only having memories of that person - especially a parent. There's no universal method to pick up what they left behind and move on, all you can do is let out whatever emotions you have and take it one day at a time. Some people need others to support them, some need isolation for self reflection and you need to find what helps you through this.
My only advice is be strong when you need to be, let your guard down when you have the time to and keep the memory of them alive the best you can.
Lost my father when I was 11. Cried my eyes out the first night and day. Never again after. Not sure why.
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