Corny Joke of the day

[Experiment2100]

Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

So he could beat the crowd.

[baseline bum]

A guy walks into a sperm bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands that she opens the sperm bank vault.

She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!"

"I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???"

"DO IT!"... So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

[Useruser666]

That's all in good fun, just as long as Ron Artest doesn't walk into a sperm bank.

[Experiment2100]

How did the pirate pay for his piercings?




With a buccaneer.

[Jimcs50]

How did the pirate pay for his piercings?




With a buccaneer.

It should be: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?

A buccaneer.


Are you blonde?

[Guru of Nothing]

How did the pirate pay for his piercings?




With a buccaneer.

That reminds me of a line from the old TV show Third Rock from the Sun. John Lithgow was dressed as a pirate for a costume party and someone asked him where his buccaneers were. He replied, "Under my 'bucking' hat."

[Drachen]

Didja see the new Pirate movie???

its rated ARRRRRRRRR!

[Experiment2100]

Two guys walk into a bar, which is pretty stupid because the other guy should have ducked.


P.S. sorry it's so early in the day, but I don't knw what time I'll be on the net in the morning.

[GINNNNNNNNNNNNOBILI]

2 muffins were in an oven... the first muffin says "damn its hot in here" then the 2nd muffin says "WOW A TALKIN MUFFIN"

[travis2]

Y'all look like y'all need some elephant jokes...

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants over the hill!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
Grapes are purple.

What did Jane say when he she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Oooooo, look at all the grapes!" (She was color blind)

How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant if you're color blind?
Dance on it for a while. If you don't get any wine, it's an elephant.

[Jimcs50]

Please God noooooooooo.......

Don't give Travis any reason to subject his notoriously bad Elephant jokes upon us.

[travis2]

Just for Jim...


How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duckling.

How can you tell when an elephant is getting ready to charge?
He asks if you accept Visa.

[gay abc]

what do gay horses eat?
























HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

[Slomo]

How do you you know an elephant was in your fridge?




By the footprints in the butter!

[bigzak25]

A man goes to a doctor and says " What shall I do? I've just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his ass. "That's funny!" He says " your asshole is 10 inches wide! I thought elephants only had thin long s?" The man says " Yeah but he fingered me first!"




A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower. In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?" The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, " I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's make pretend that we're married!" The man says happily, "OK!" AWESOME!" The woman says, "GOOD .... Get your own ing blanket!!!

[pseudofan]

Travis, I'm surprised it took you this long! God help us. I hope you have run out of elephant jokes.....

[Dre_7]

Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

So he could beat the crowd.

I got to say that, that is one of the funnyest i've heard in a while.

[travis2]

Travis, I'm surprised it took you this long! God help us. I hope you have run out of elephant jokes.....

Oh, I know you love them...and fear not, fair maiden, I would NEVER run out...

Just for you...


How are an elephant and a banana just alike?
They are both yellow. Except for the elephant.

Why do elephants travel in herds?
Because if they traveled in flocks, it would confuse the sheepdogs.

[Experiment2100]

Why didn't the ocean say goodbye to the earth?

Cause the ocean just waved.

For the elephant guy.

What do you get when you cross an elephant w/ a rhino.
The elephino.

[travis2]

Why didn't the ocean say goodbye to the earth?

Cause the ocean just waved.

For the elephant guy.

What do you get when you cross an elephant w/ a rhino.
The elephino.

*tsk*tsk*tsk*

You have much to learn, Grasshopper...


Why do ducks have flat feet?
For stamping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
For stamping out flaming ducks.

Why do giraffes have long necks?
For spitting on burning elephants.

[Experiment2100]

You have much to learn, Grasshopper...

elephino ( if I know). That's funnier than watching jermaine o'neal punch a pistons fan.

[Samurai Jane]

Please don't encourage him!!!

[travis2]

Please don't encourage him!!!

Ah! More encouragement! Another true fan!


Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
Because the white ones always get dirty.

Why do elephants float in the river upside-down?
To keep their blue tennis shoes from getting wet.

[gay abc]

what do you call a lesbian dinosaur ???














a lickalotapus

[Experiment2100]

There are four lizards on a ceiling after one starts singing how many are left.


One: The others fall down when the start clapping.