The Dreaded Friends Zone

[spursincharge]

So a situation...

A girl and I used to work together from August of 2005 until May of 2007. We were hanging out all the time towards the end of 2006 and in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further but she said it would be weird since we work together....

Now I live in a different city but visit SA almost every weekend. Her and I hang out everytime I'm down and we talk almost everyday...If I still have feelings for this girl, how do I bring this up without ruining the friendship?

Feel free to ask more specific questions if you need more info on the situation!

Any help (especially ladies) is much appreciated!

Thanks

[GoGatos.]

Sounds like she is using the Job excuse to keep from having sex with someone who has an odor. I can just see her now on another web forum.

Hi everyone I have a situation. There is this guy at work that has bad breath and a strange odor I think he wants to have sex with me but I don't know how to tell him no so he doesn't get his feelings hurt.

please help
thank you

A posters reply :tell him you don't feel right since you work with him and maybe he will start stalking someone else!


Face it dude! if this girl really wanted you?
you two would have had sex long ago move on already!

[DeeBo]

in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further

Thats the problem right there fool!
you let the ho take it to the next level, unless your a pimp? you aint got no game cuz. Ho's know when a man is desperate, and you sound like your hurting like a mo-fo dawg.
Why don't you go to church and find a real woman and stop whining like a !

[Bizarro J.T.]

Face it brah u r in da friend zone for life with this ho. Do what JT would do in this situation, kill yourself

[Dex]

The best way to confront it without jeopardizing the friendship is probably to just tell her straight up. You don't have to break down and fess up or anything, but if you guys are as close as you claim to be, you should be able to catch her aside at some moment and tell her that you're interested in her as more than a friend...however you choose to do that.

The fact of the matter is, beating around the bush with the matter is probably gonna end one of two ways.
1) She won't ever catch the drift, will end up with some other guy, and your point will be moot.
2) Things will progress without ever really being defined, and if she isn't feeling the same way, then you'll probably end up finding out the hard way

You could just let the chips fall as they may and see where it goes, but that seems just as likely to miss as hit. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself out on a limb, and if your friend has her head straight, then I'm sure she'll at least be glad you were straight-forward about it. And at least you'll know where things stand.

[mavs>spurs2]

Next time you hang out or whatever, right as you depart just kiss her, and like you mean it. Then don't contact her, wait for her to contact you and see where the chips fall.

[Dex]

Or you could do that.

Ballsy, but it might work?

[mavs>spurs2]

Yea it takes balls but has worked from experience. The kiss may make her realize feelings she never knew she had, and sweep her off her feet at the same time

[baseline bum]

If she hasn't given it up by now, she never will. Pretty hard to get a chick when you're not aggressive with her from the get-go. The work thing is an excuse.

[MannyIsGod]

Give it up dude, she doens't like you in that way. If she did she woudln't have used an excuse like work. Its sooooooooooooooooooo obvious.

[Jimmy]

Manny is right!
And you other clowns did not read his original post. he said he already tried to take it to the next level. That means the vato already made his move and failed! Face it! there aren't any more chips to fall. The poker table is closed.
Besides why would a real woman want a man that had to go to a message board to help get in the first place? You want us to tell you how to get rid of her after she has a baby later on from your best friend also?

I suggest you move on and find another victim or your going to end up like Buddy Holly alone in some motel room jerking off to a street map of San Antonio.

[GEICO Caveman]

Dude don't mix love and work. Ever. It always ends bad.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Yup, you're friendzoned for life unless she wakes up to you on her own... and that only ever happens in stupid ing Hollywood movies.

Move on.

[GEICO Caveman]

What happened to the glory days when a man didn't play these stupid mind games with himself? When I was young, if you wanted a woman, you went out and got her.

[monosylab1k]

stand outside her bedroom in a trench coat, and hold a boombox over your head that's playing Peter Gabriel.

[mrsmaalox]

It's funny that no ladies have replied so far!! Not much you can do really but just come right out and tell her what's on your mind. I know I often misread people or don't pick up on cues, and then later I'm floored by what they really meant; so it's best to lay it out. Once she understands, tell her you'll follow her lead either way but ask her for honesty and no games. The "Friends Zone" is not a bad place necessarily; something that develops over a little time is more fun and exciting (for me at least) than something that starts out hot and heavy. Good luck!

[thispego]

sneak into her bathroom, snag her hairbrush, remove the loose hair, make a hair doll, give her the hair doll. She will LOVE it.

[stretch]

Next time you hang out or whatever, right as you depart just kiss her, and like you mean it. Then don't contact her, wait for her to contact you and see where the chips fall.

never thought i would actually give you props, but this does work

[stretch]

The best way to confront it without jeopardizing the friendship is probably to just tell her straight up. You don't have to break down and fess up or anything, but if you guys are as close as you claim to be, you should be able to catch her aside at some moment and tell her that you're interested in her as more than a friend...however you choose to do that.

The fact of the matter is, beating around the bush with the matter is probably gonna end one of two ways.
1) She won't ever catch the drift, will end up with some other guy, and your point will be moot.
2) Things will progress without ever really being defined, and if she isn't feeling the same way, then you'll probably end up finding out the hard way

You could just let the chips fall as they may and see where it goes, but that seems just as likely to miss as hit. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself out on a limb, and if your friend has her head straight, then I'm sure she'll at least be glad you were straight-forward about it. And at least you'll know where things stand.

that would be the best way to go about it.

[johnsmith]

Take her out, get her lamblasted, and things should go smoothly from there.

[monosylab1k]

cut your arm, then break into her house and put the bloody knife next to her while she is sleeping. that way when she wakes up she'll realize that you love her so much it hurts.

[stretch]

Manny is right!
And you other clowns did not read his original post. he said he already tried to take it to the next level. That means the vato already made his move and failed! Face it! there aren't any more chips to fall. The poker table is closed.

Not true, because most girls dont know what the they want. what you and manny said may be true in some cases, but not all. i remember thispego saying in another post a while back, guys who talk about women in absolutes obviously dont know women. they are random as can be.

fact is, this guy needs to find a way to again express his feelings for her. at the same time, it would be easier for us to analyze the situation more if he gave us more details of their initial conversation that he had with her when she first said no.

[stretch]

So a situation...

A girl and I used to work together from August of 2005 until May of 2007. We were hanging out all the time towards the end of 2006 and in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further but she said it would be weird since we work together....

Now I live in a different city but visit SA almost every weekend. Her and I hang out everytime I'm down and we talk almost everyday...If I still have feelings for this girl, how do I bring this up without ruining the friendship?

Feel free to ask more specific questions if you need more info on the situation!

Any help (especially ladies) is much appreciated!

Thanks

what do yall do when yall hang out?

what do yall talk about?

how does she act when around you?

what was in the conversation you had when she first said no?

[thispego]

Not true, because most girls dont know what the they want. what you and manny said may be true in some cases, but not all. i remember thispego saying in another post a while back, guys who talk about women in absolutes obviously dont know women. they are random as can be.

stretch has been paying attention

but dont listen to me, i dont know about women

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Give it up dude, she doens't like you in that way. If she did she woudln't have used an excuse like work. Its sooooooooooooooooooo obvious.

Plus 1. She just used the work thing so she wouldn't hurt your feelings. Go find a nice ugly chick who wants you.