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I was once having sex with a fat chick and when I turned her over she had a piece of toilet paper sticking out of her asshole. I ignored it, turned her back over and the finished.
That's one of hundreds of stupid stories I have.
Have you ever done something so rediculous it could literally be a skit in a comedians show?
I'll start. I once had to take a crap so bad but I decided to weigh myself before and then after just to see how much my waste weighed.
The scale didnt register a difference
I was once having sex with a fat chick and when I turned her over she had a piece of toilet paper sticking out of her asshole. I ignored it, turned her back over and the finished.
That's one of hundreds of stupid stories I have.
this thread could potentially revive the comedic career for Mouse...
I my pants during the 5th grade while playing basketball during recess because I hate everybody's food before during lunch. Karma.
I slid down the fire escape, at some GI'S barracks, at FSH, at 3 A.M.
Of course....
once i had to take a dump at a gas station. it was a quiktrip, so it was clean. well i was laying down the ass gaskets before i mounted. it just so happened their toilets were the ones that autoflushed. so i get the ass gaskets situated, turn around, unbutton my pants, about to place my ass on the seat and bah-osssshhhh. THE DAMN THING FLUSHES!!!!!! needless to say it took a couple of cycles of this to happen before i got it right. i was laughing about it towards the end and was looking for cameras everywhere.
I went back to my high school a few weeks after graduating and on it.
Rode on top of a car while it was doing 40 on a 15 mph road
Drove through an elementary school in a '71 VW van.
Tried to return a fish filet at McDonalds after taking a bite out of it.
Since this has taken a toilet turn: I got a new video camera for a trip to Hong Kong; now I'm not really a gadget person so I pretty much got an idiot proof one. During our first excursion, my friend Tammy and I went to the restroom at a restaurant that night. Then we went to a party and I insisted on showing everyone my videos. So after a few seconds I realized I had the camera on "pause" when I thought I was filming and had it "on" when I wanted it on pause. The toilet scene ended up showing my feet, then my pants and panties down around my legs, then I get up and move aside to view the toilet paper circling around and down the drain. Boy was I glad I didn't take a dump!!!
The most rediculously stupid thing I have done(but it is not funny enough for comedy)...
I wake up everyday....
....period.
On the lawn, the building, what?
on ur face
i was at ikea about a year ago, and my friend had to use the restroom so i went with her (buddy system). Anywho i thought i didnt have to go, but when i got in there i had to pee so bad.
So i went into a stall and i didnt want to put my cell phone on the floor and her boyfriend had our purses...so i decided i would put the phone in my long sleeves, lay toilet cover down and do my business...
well needless to say when i went to flush...my phone plopped into the toilet, the toilet was automatic flush and down the toilet it went... That has been by far one of the stupidest things i've done.
I'm scared of public restrooms but this ache in my stomach was one of those cherry bomb feelings. So I stopped at the nearest place, it was some old gas station ran by Koreans. Well the bathroom was ghetto, and I didn't even check for tp before I . Well, I did my duty. Came out, bought some tp cause the ers didn't understand what I was saying. Went back in and standing over the toilet I dropped it... in the toilet. I said this and popped open the door, grabbed some kind of shirt they was selling on the rack, went back in and wiped. Welllll I got home, and had that nice smell to me so I went to take a shower. As I got naked right before I stepped in I noticed in the mirror red streaks on my ass. So upon closer examination I realized that shirt was red I had whipped with and somehow between my sweaty dookie ass and the ink on that shirt I just painted my asshole red. It didn't go away for 2 weeks.
On the floor outside the front door
I had a few too many drinks.......I walked into my bedroom closet to take off my clothes.......lost my balance and went face first into the wall. I wasn't coherent enough to even throw my hands out to stop my fall. I skinned the whole side of my face. hurt like a somebiatch. I told everyone at work the next day that I fell trying to move my washer.I doubt they believed me.
i my pants at church because i was trying to fart to make someone laugh but i really had diarreah
I didn't do this, but in keeping with the "fun with feces" theme going I have to share it. A group of my buddies were hanging out and drinking at one of their houses while the parents were out of town. One of them thought farting was just the most awesome thing in the world. He'd rip loud ones in public as often as possible. Guys never wanted to sit or lay down on the couch when he was around because he'd try to fart in their faces if he got the chance. So after a few drinks the guy drops his pants and starts yelling how he wants his pals to see his asshole as he farts at them. It's pretty easy to see how this ended poorly. Seems the guy had one too many and had major league control issues. He dropped a huge brown puddle in the middle of the living room rug.
Last edited by spurs_fan_in_exile; 07-25-2008 at 09:08 AM.
here's another doo doo story:
Normally I'd never in a school restroom, but once in 8th grade I had some serious mud butt so I ran to the restroom and took a nice long filthy one. Didn't pay attention to the fact that some asshole had pissed all over the toilet paper. I decide against getting my tighty whities ty, so with my pants around my ankles, I bunny-hop into the other stall. That TP roll is all pissed on too. So then I bunny-hop my way to the paper towel station, located right next to the door. As I'm furiously pulling out enough paper, some Mexican kid walks in, takes one look at me, says "what the !" and walks back out. I go back to my stall and wipe. The end.
One time I pissed in my closet thinking it was my restroom.
what a stupid
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