Rappin' Shaq R.I.P.

[Rapping Mr. Robinson]

I came here to do God's work and try to make peace
to see if I could find a way to make these hostilities cease
I know some of you might not think I'm "cool"
but it's time for Mr. Robinson to take you back to school
Back in the day I was a high flying slammer
but I never lost sight of the importance of good grammar.
Active verbs should always end in I-N-G
Never have I seen such abuse of the apostrophe

It appalls me to think that this garbage evolved from jazz
Duke Ellington had more talent than any rapping troll has
Get some good music kids-some Coltrane, some Mingus
instead of reading 15 pages devoted to analingus

I'd really like to help you all, that's what I came to do
Get some Jesus in your life, you'll be like David too.
Shaq, I'm older but a hundred pounds lighter than you
Perhaps it's because in hard times you seek comfort in food.
You won't find happiness in a box of Krispy Cremes
I think you lash out in your raps because of a lack of self esteem

And I need to have a word with you too young Kobe
You should not break marriage vows and engage in sodomy
According to God your seed should go in one place
I know "it's your thing" but it should not be on a woman's face.

And this last message goes to all the rapping trolls,
you should not speak of such deviant uses for your holes.
You should not rhyme about placing your testicles on a man's chin
Don't you know sexuality is a sin?

But I forgive you all, we should all turn the other cheek
Shaq if you start now you might get yours turned by next week
I want you all to be kind, gentle, pure, and chaste
Now join me for communion on Sunday and tell me how my Lord taste!

[monosylab1k]

tell me how my Lord taste!

the rest of it was pretty good too, but this is the best line in the thread

[Rappin' Timmy]

Too much sorry bull in this thread, it needs to stop
Rappers turnin into es worse than Kobe with the cops
Rhymes so old & weak they need a Walker like Herschel
Stupid ass worse than my Vitamin Water commercial

He's got a few skills but not much, so small props to Rappin' Biedrins
Rappin' Nash fails so bad the taste of my ass is too good for him
Rappin' Scola so damn pitiful that the is just sad
He's gettin bombed on so bad he should change his name to Baghdad

Only a few worthy rappers in this sea of wack doodoo
Rappin' Shaq & Horry are elite, assisted by Hype Man Manu,
All you other wack ass rappers get the out this place
Get a gay train goin and find out how each other's ass taste

Rappin' Shaq? I'm sorry but those rhymes had no flow
Rhyming Manu with doodoo, that just in blows
Sorry to say this Shaq, but you don't run this place
Now you gotta tell me HOW MY ASS TASTE!!!

[rAm]

I came here to do God's work and try to make peace
to see if I could find a way to make these hostilities cease
I know some of you might not think I'm "cool"
but it's time for Mr. Robinson to take you back to school
Back in the day I was a high flying slammer
but I never lost sight of the importance of good grammar.
Active verbs should always end in I-N-G
Never have I seen such abuse of the apostrophe

It appalls me to think that this garbage evolved from jazz
Duke Ellington had more talent than any rapping troll has
Get some good music kids-some Coltrane, some Mingus
instead of reading 15 pages devoted to analingus

I'd really like to help you all, that's what I came to do
Get some Jesus in your life, you'll be like David too.
Shaq, I'm older but a hundred pounds lighter than you
Perhaps it's because in hard times you seek comfort in food.
You won't find happiness in a box of Krispy Cremes
I think you lash out in your raps because of a lack of self esteem

And I need to have a word with you too young Kobe
You should not break marriage vows and engage in sodomy
According to God your seed should go in one place
I know "it's your thing" but it should not be on a woman's face.

And this last message goes to all the rapping trolls,
you should not speak of such deviant uses for your holes.
You should not rhyme about placing your testicles on a man's chin
Don't you know sexuality is a sin?

But I forgive you all, we should all turn the other cheek
Shaq if you start now you might get yours turned by next week
I want you all to be kind, gentle, pure, and chaste
Now join me for communion on Sunday and tell me how my Lord taste!

clever, i like it

[I Love Me Some Me]

Five-oH with a late rally!

[Rappin' V-Span]

Rappin Shaq is my favorite but not quite my hero
I'm about to serve him up like a Greek Gyro
I'm Shaq's idol, he's looking up to me
Don't cater to these other rappers, I'm the one to please
So get on your knees, since your so quick to be gay
Close your damn mouth, that V-Span don't play

Please, you don't include V-Span in your rapping hall-of-fame
V-Span is man, BEST REMEMBER THE NAME
Im at the top of my game, even though its Europe
I bet you'd eat the whole country if it was covered in syrup
So damn consumed with catching Tim D
You've developed a complex, its called "look at me"

I respect you though, at least your rhymes
You need to drop some pounds
While I'm droppin my dimes
So next time you rap, remember V-Spans face
Your no longer the Sheriff, so tell me how my ass taste!

[GuerillaBlack]

Too much sorry bull in this thread, it needs to stop
Rappers turnin into es worse than Kobe with the cops
Rhymes so old & weak they need a Walker like Herschel
Stupid ass worse than my Vitamin Water commercial

He's got a few skills but not much, so small props to Rappin' Biedrins
Rappin' Nash fails so bad the taste of my ass is too good for him
Rappin' Scola so damn pitiful that the is just sad
He's gettin bombed on so bad he should change his name to Baghdad

Only a few worthy rappers in this sea of wack doodoo
Rappin' Shaq & Horry are elite, assisted by Hype Man Manu,
All you other wack ass rappers get the out this place
Get a gay train goin and find out how each other's ass taste

Holy . This is ing win. Amazing.

i cant breathe.

[Hype Man Manu]

I came here to do God's work and try to make peace
to see if I could find a way to make these hostilities cease
I know some of you might not think I'm "cool"
but it's time for Mr. Robinson to take you back to school
Back in the day I was a high flying slammer
but I never lost sight of the importance of good grammar.
Active verbs should always end in I-N-G
Never have I seen such abuse of the apostrophe

It appalls me to think that this garbage evolved from jazz
Duke Ellington had more talent than any rapping troll has
Get some good music kids-some Coltrane, some Mingus
instead of reading 15 pages devoted to analingus

I'd really like to help you all, that's what I came to do
Get some Jesus in your life, you'll be like David too.
Shaq, I'm older but a hundred pounds lighter than you
Perhaps it's because in hard times you seek comfort in food.
You won't find happiness in a box of Krispy Cremes
I think you lash out in your raps because of a lack of self esteem

And I need to have a word with you too young Kobe
You should not break marriage vows and engage in sodomy
According to God your seed should go in one place
I know "it's your thing" but it should not be on a woman's face.

And this last message goes to all the rapping trolls,
you should not speak of such deviant uses for your holes.
You should not rhyme about placing your testicles on a man's chin
Don't you know sexuality is a sin?

But I forgive you all, we should all turn the other cheek
Shaq if you start now you might get yours turned by next week
I want you all to be kind, gentle, pure, and chaste
Now join me for communion on Sunday and tell me how my Lord taste!

Yeah WHAT WHAT WHAT
STOP WITH THE ANALINGUS
WHAT?!
HE SAID ANALINGUS
ANALINGUS YO!

NUTS ON THE CHINS
NUH NUH NUTS ON THE CHINS!

THIS COMING FROM THE GREATEST SPUR THAT'S EVER BEEN!

YO ADMIRAL TIME TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK!

PUT 'EM UP
PUT 'EM UP!

[Rappin' Biedrins]

Scola that was the weakest i've ever seen,
lyrics uglier than a Mark Cuban sex scene.
but what about V-Span what's he got to show?
your still in Europe, even though you were drafted years ago
and your twenty-six. so what does that mean?
, i made it over here when i was only eighteen.
You cried to Van Gundy, wanted to play,
but instead sat on the bench, and watched everyday
claimed your better than T-Mac,now what you smokin?
you say that here and people know you be jokin.
it only took me five games, to get rid of Foyle's sorry ass,
so whats taking you so long, please let me ask.
take your Greek and go back to your place,
but please, tell me how my ass taste!

[RappinRaja BellRinga]

Too much sorry bull in this thread, it needs to stop
Rappers turnin into es worse than Kobe with the cops
Rhymes so old & weak they need a Walker like Herschel
Stupid ass worse than my Vitamin Water commercial

He's got a few skills but not much, so small props to Rappin' Biedrins
Rappin' Nash fails so bad the taste of my ass is too good for him
Rappin' Scola so damn pitiful that the is just sad
He's gettin bombed on so bad he should change his name to Baghdad

Only a few worthy rappers in this sea of wack doodoo
Rappin' Shaq & Horry are elite, assisted by Hype Man Manu,
All you other wack ass rappers get the out this place
Get a gay train goin and find out how each other's ass taste

I don't know what's worse, his rhymes or his movies
while you're in nyc clubs im with shaunie in the jacuzzi
your career is done, but online you can rhyme some
Timmy owns you and you got dunked on by bynum

Some ppl laugh at you just cause every1 else does youre Jimmy Fallon
Still love the fat kids huh?, touchin em at the the big shaq challenge

Doin child pornos after your albums were wack
that's why you were with Aaron Carter, that's how I "Beat" Shaq
how'd you let a pussy run you off your team?
and i know why you left orlando, you got owned by the dream
you ruined phx, they dont have mych cap space
when your contract is up phx LL say how does my ass taste

[Trainwreck2100]

I don't know what's worse, his rhymes or his movies
while you're in nyc clubs im with shaunie in the jacuzzi
your career is done, but online you can rhyme some
Timmy owns you and you got dunked on by bynum

Some ppl laugh at you just cause every1 else does youre Jimmy Fallon
Still love the fat kids huh?, touchin em at the the big shaq challenge

Doin child pornos after your albums were wack
that's why you were with Aaron Carter, that's how I "Beat" Shaq
how'd you let a pussy run you off your team?
and i know why you left orlando, you got owned by the dream
you ruined phx, they dont have mych cap space
when your contract is up phx LL say how does my ass taste

Aren't you on the same team?

[RappinRaja BellRinga]

Aren't you on the same team?

The only team i'm on is with me and my bank account, so You.

[Rappin' V-Span]

Scola that was the weakest i've ever seen,
lyrics uglier than a Mark Cuban sex scene.
but what about V-Span what's he got to show?
your still in Europe, even though you were drafted years ago
and your twenty-six. so what does that mean?
, i made it over here when i was only eighteen.
You cried to Van Gundy, wanted to play,
but instead sat on the bench, and watched everyday
claimed your better than T-Mac,now what you smokin?
you say that here and people know you be jokin.
it only took me five games, to get rid of Foyle's sorry ass,
so whats taking you so long, please let me ask.
take your Greek and go back to your place,
but please, tell me how my ass taste!

Europe is the , I love living there
They've got nude beaches and s everywhere
Callin out V-Span won't get you far
Its sad that your hairs more of a standout than you are
It must be really hard to catch a damn lob
10 million dollars for that, Hey Warriors: GOOD JOB!

Don't you ever forget, its the guard that runs
If I didn't pass you the ball, you couldn't find your own
Your useless, even on a Nellie team
If you make a free throw, all your coaches cream

I don't care if you come at me in a dream with a gang of guys
If you hit me, you'd better wake up and apologize
Losing Baron Davis hurts, but don't cry all in this place
Grab some more hair gel, and tell me how my ass taste

[P Jiddy]

I hate to interrupt a thread that's destined for the Classics
But I'd like to wax a little philosophic on your asses

Shaq and Kobe talkin is only compensation
For the thing that they've been missing ever since their separation

See... Shaq and Kobe used to have an intimate friendship
And by that I mean they used to share the same bed on road trips

Forgive me if you think that what I'm bout to say is crass
But Shaq was the Most Dominant Ever on Kobe's red ass

We owned the league for years and we were bout to get it back
Till Kobe found the Diesel face deep in Karl Malone's crack

Ever since that day they been goin at it like exes
And letting all the glory go to mother ing Texas

So as King said, Can't we all just get along
And go back to the time when you sucked each other's dong?

I've never tasted ass... I rather prefer wine
But perhaps you closet gots might enjoy a taste of mine


(Phil me, uh, uh, Phil me)

[manufor3]

manu is gonna kill me

[Brutalis]

Let me know when any of this starts to be funny at all.

[Rap Kill Bill Pana]

I sick and tiring of hear NBA is best,
EuroLeague #1 and much better than rest,
Opinion is excuse for stupid argument made,
If USA fan want know how game is played,
Come Greece and I shows you real ball,
VSpan is quick and make shots fall

All Americas are lies and your womens fatter,
You is need learn how to read better

[DPG21920]

Let me know when any of this starts to be funny at all.

Get a sense of humor!

[Rappin' Biedrins]

Europe is the , I love living there
They've got nude beaches and s everywhere
Callin out V-Span won't get you far
Its sad that your hairs more of a standout than you are
It must be really hard to catch a damn lob
10 million dollars for that, Hey Warriors: GOOD JOB!

Don't you ever forget, its the guard that runs
If I didn't pass you the ball, you couldn't find your own
Your useless, even on a Nellie team
If you make a free throw, all your coaches cream

I don't care if you come at me in a dream with a gang of guys
If you hit me, you'd better wake up and apologize
Losing Baron Davis hurts, but don't cry all in this place
Grab some more hair gel, and tell me how my ass taste

nude beaches? do i really need to even call you out on that?
well here it goes, you asked for it asshat.
i have my own wife, i get some whenever i want her,
while your still looking for your first female phone number.

the rest of this i cant even make fun of, it doesnt make sense,
maybe Mr. Robinson can school you on proper verb tense.
you've got some work to do, better pick up the pace,
but until then, keep tellin me how my ass taste

[Rappin' V-Span]

I sick and tiring of hear NBA is best,
EuroLeague #1 and much better than rest,
Opinion is excuse for stupid argument made,
If USA fan want know how game is played,
Come Greece and I shows you real ball,
VSpan is quick and make shots fall

All Americas are lies and your womens fatter,
You is need learn how to read better

V-Span and K-B-P!
V-Span and K-B-P!

For all of you whos home is for lease
Pack up your bags and move into Greece

For all of you whos home is for lease
Pack up your bags and move into Greece

[xtremesteven33]

Let me know when any of this starts to be funny at all.

i agree.....rappin shaq is hilarious, so is kobe....the manu rap thing is just not funny.....

[rAm]

Let me know when any of this starts to be funny at all.

Let me know when you stop sucking .

[DPG21920]

Manu is just acting like a hype man, he is not trying to rap

[Rappin' V-Span]

nude beaches? do i really need to even call you out on that?
well here it goes, you asked for it asshat.
i have my own wife, i get some whenever i want her,
while your still looking for your first female phone number.

the rest of this i cant even make fun of, it doesnt make sense,
maybe Mr. Robinson can school you on proper verb tense.
you've got some work to do, better pick up the pace,
but until then, keep tellin me how my ass taste

I am glad you keep talking all about your wife
Do you think she'll be there for the rest of your life?
What happens if your money goes thin like air
Theres plenty of rich ugly dudes everywhere

Congrats, you get one pussy for life
V-Span taps new girls almost every single night
What are you talking about, you can't make fun
Don't make lame excuses cause theres no ammo in your gun

I am tired of this, I have served and owned you
I'm really happy you can get your own wife to bone you
Now if you know when to quit, you can save some face
Take your wife to Olive Garden and tell me how my ass taste!

[Rappin' Ruben]

this thread cant stop, it needs a little HITCH!!
so what better, than to get RUBEN PATTERSON UP IN THIS !!!
look at you two Euro s arguin over your sex life,
MY GAME'S SO SHARP, SHARPER THAN A MOTHER IN KNIIIIFE!!
FAT ES, BLACK ES, SKANKY ES, STANKY ES,
BUSTY ES, MUSTY ES!!
I'VE ED ALL THE ES, i can teach Kobe a thang or two,
WHITE GIRL FROM COLORADO??? I AINT IMPRESSED!
YOU DID YOU FORGET? SHE AINT EVEN UNDRESSED!!
are you kidding me? i thought you were the black mamba,
call me the KOBE STOPPER, call her THE MAMBA STOPPER!!!!
UH, UH, YEOOOOOOOWOWOWOOOOOOW,
Uh, Uh, ,
AINT NOTHIN BUT A TRICK you g0ts need to take your somewhere else
QUICK!!!
just like my head my flow is INSANE, ya'll cant touch this,
im the best that ever was, ever will be, and wont ever be defeated.
its over now better turn off the switch, cause
BIG RUBEN PATTERSON UP OUTTA THIS !!!