Case #1: Three weeks ago I meet up at a happy hour with two female friends (both taken and unavailable). A friend of theirs is with them, and we really hit it off over the course of the evening. I'm such a lightweight that after 5 beers, I'm buzzing pretty heavily. Things are going well enough that in my alcoholic-induced haze, I actually whisper in her ear "Hey, let's get the out of here!"
Yeah, she definitely did not want to sign on to the idea of going somewhere alone with some guy she just met. I didn't really press the issue, but she did give me her number and asked me to call her. When I woke up the next day sober, I was really embarrassed about it, since I could understand her reluctance. I didn't proposition her in a crude way, but it was clear what I wanted at the time. I was too ashamed of the way I acted to contact her. So I let two weeks go by, finally sent her a message of facebook and things seem to be progressing slowly but nicely. This one might be salvaged.
Case #2: There's this other girl Laura that I slept with a few times back in the spring. Long story short, I don't want a relationship with her, and I've had to kind of hold her at arm's length at times. When it came to having sex, she drove that train more than I did. Anyways, anytime we ever try to get together, it seems one of us cancels on the other. So last night I promised I would meet her for happy hour, but I made it clear I was going to watch the debate with a buddy of mine and we could go out after that. So my buddy Dave and I go back to his apartment while she continues happy hour and promises to catch up with me later.
After the debate, we head over to the neighborhood hipster bar and Dave's friend Holly shows up. Holly works in the same building as I do. I don't normally go for lots of tats and piercings, but Holly is ING HOT! We hit it off. We both discover that we were born on the same day (2/3/78), and her being into astrology, she seems to think that this has great significance. (I think it's a crock of , but whatever). Holly announces that some guy had stood her up that night and that her vagina is basically open for business. We're hitting it off to the point that I am dreading Laura showing up. Laura finally shows up and I can't hide my interest in Holly. It should be noted that going into the evening I felt I had a 1 in 3 shot at sleeping with Laura. I work in Dallas and ride the train in from FTW, and Laura had told me earlier she had no qualms with driving me back to FTW to get my car. (Can't leave it overnight or it'll get towed.)
Holly gets pretty buzzed/slightly drunk, announces she's leaving to go to another hipster bar to meet up with a friend in town from Austin and she may be back. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and asks for my phone #. Very, very affectionate. As she leaves, she says to me "We are going to be such good friends." So she leaves, and Dave is making faces at me, and I tell him about the "good friends" remark, and ask him if I have a shot with her. He says "I think you have a shot with her TONIGHT."
So I debated this, but I sent her the following text at 1:35 after she left at 1:20:
"I like you, and not in a platonic way. If the feeling isn't mutual, that's cool, I don't have an ego to bruise, just friends is cool. Just putting it out there..."
Yeah, so Laura left and said she was going home because she was "tired." Holly never replied to my text.
Dave said I made one big mistake: At one point he eavesdropped in our our conversation and noticed I was talking about my alcoholic dad. Holly was bringing up her messed-up family life and I was just trying to relate. Dave feels it was a mistake to get into "heavy" stuff so soon, that usually lands you in the friend zone. Also, my friend Daniel believes the text message I sent is typical sensitive wussy boy, in that last night she was simply looking for Mr. Right Now and I basically presented myself as Mr. Right.
Now I gotta hope I don't run into her at work. She works on the 29th floor, I'm on the 32nd. I normally don't have reason to be on the 29th floor in her department.
Dude your text was gay. I don't see a problem with the conversation stuff, but the text message just says "I have no balls". Close the deals dude, close the deals. I'm not saying you have to go out and sleep with someone the first night, but close the deal!
I'd call her to try to hang out or something.
That was the gayest text message I've ever read.
Beat me.
I think the text message was extremely stupid and feeble, as you said. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was a little bit buzzed, but it was a momentary lapse of judgment. In her shoes, I'd think I was a wussy boy.
I guess all I'm asking is has the ship sailed or can I still salvage it? I'm leaning towards the former.
Yeah, the text message is the only iffy part. It can be salvaged with a bit of aggressiveness, though.
Not caveman aggression, but a solid invite would be good.
Sadly, you're probably right. I was trying to convince myself it wasn't that bad.
Lesson learned.
Guess you could say I choked just like the Mavericks do.
At least it was only a first round series.
Yeah. I haven't gotten laid in like 3 months. I think I'm trying too hard and being impatient. Leads to stupid like the end of last night.
Thats why girls like black guys
because they close the ing deal and dont send gay text messages
you'd never catch a brotha sayin that lame
I deserve the ridicule on this one.
5 beers and you get a heavy buzz?
I almost never drink. I did better when I was younger. Marijuana is my recreational activity of choice.
I had the exact same reaction to the text message.
And I guess I'm old, but lots of tats and piercings = ugh.
I guess on the cringe factor, it's Palin-esque
Trust me on this one. I usually don't go for it, but she makes it work.And I guess I'm old, but lots of tats and piercings = ugh.
All you can do is have a sense of humor and be willing to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously over it.
I like the aggressive advice.
I'm not a big piercing fan but tats can be awesome if the person pulls them off right. It can go either way.
What about that girl in JMarkJohns's sig?
Read this book:
Getting Laid 101 for Dummies.
You made SO many mistakes with all these women.....I don't even know where to start.
Write it off as practice. It's tough breaking through after a dry spell; girls can smell that you aren't getting laid. Remember, you don't score points by getting a phone number. The number should come after you have already suggested doing something together. Suggest an activity that gets you alone with each other away from the distraction of friends.
Being a sincere, nice guy is not going to get you anywhere. don't be so PC. If you like a girl, let her know it. Don't be all wishy-washy, you'll seem creepy. ,
Yeah, at this point, I'm not really interested in how to salvage it, more on strategies for how to avoid her at work. I didn't think the text message was *that* bad, but the consensus is overwhelming in this thread, it was embarrassingly bad. I'll chalk it up as a learning experience. I guess the bright side/silver lining is that I was doing well enough to be in a position to choke it away like the Mavericks do.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
