Advice????

[PM5K]

How old are you, and how long have you been together and married?

[spursfan09]

We were talking about this subject in class one day. What I believe is that marriage is not for young people. Along time ago it might of been since life span averarge was what? 35? Now we all live longer. We experience more things, meet more peopole everyday. We have the internet where you can meet people or watch porn. There is just so much going against marriage, but if you are in a marriage and you make that commitment then you took vows to be with her. You should try to make it work. If you still feel that you would rather be single, than join the other majority that feel like you and do it.

[j-6]

I've been married for just a hair over two years. It's been good (not great), but lately all I can think about is "man I could have fun if I was single", and this thought process has probably led to many arguments and frankly, has invaded my mind of late.

i love my wife very much, but I loved goofing off and being single almost as much (ok, just as much).



So my question is this, does everyone go through this? Am I normal in regards to marriage and just be patient or should I nip this in the bud?

I know this sounds sort of ed up, but I need some advice. If anyone is good at this , please respond or PM me.

Good day to you all,
JohnSmith

Before you do anything stupid, think of all the times you went out and came home empty-handed when you were single. I don't know if you're craving new tail or if you don't like the accountability that comes along with marriage. If it's just screwing off with your hombres and coming and going as you please, find a hobby that incorporates a little of that into your relationship. Golf, bowling, poker, like that.

[Trainwreck2100]

Two years ago you had control of your own life. Now look at you, posting on a Friday night instead of being out the and running what you're supposed to , the solution is simple. We kill the Batman

[Bigzax]

I've been married for just a hair over two years. It's been good (not great), but lately all I can think about is "man I could have fun if I was single", and this thought process has probably led to many arguments and frankly, has invaded my mind of late.

i love my wife very much, but I loved goofing off and being single almost as much (ok, just as much).

So my question is this, does everyone go through this? Am I normal in regards to marriage and just be patient or should I nip this in the bud?

I know this sounds sort of ed up, but I need some advice. If anyone is good at this , please respond or PM me.

Good day to you all,
JohnSmith

if you have a woman that loves you. hold on tight. love her back.
you must find ways to have fun together!

all that other stuff is bull that gives immediate pleasure and long term heartache.

if she doesn't love you? then it's time to part ways.

you should have your answer. God Bless.

[duncan228]

...I'd rather be miserable with her than happy with any other woman.

This sums it up perfectly for me.

Marriage, or any committed relationship, comes with good and bad. And sometimes real bad. If your love survives the ugly stuff you know it's real. Anyone can be happy when things are rosy.

[MasterYoda]

I've been married for just a hair over two years. It's been good (not great),

ohhh...expect marriage to be great, hmmm... know what makes it great, do you?

but lately all I can think about is "man I could have fun if I was single", and this thought process has probably led to many arguments and frankly, has invaded my mind of late.

lost in thoughts of selfishness, you are. beware the seduction of the darkside. happiness does not dwell there. only emptiness.

if argue with you, she does?

hurt, she may be. expect more from her husband, she might.

love you, she must, or care she would not!

i love my wife very much, but I loved goofing off and being single almost as much (ok, just as much).

love her, you do?

or love yourself more, do you? within the answer to this question, your fate, will you find.

So my question is this, does everyone go through this? Am I normal in regards to marriage and just be patient or should I nip this in the bud?

universal battle, this is...

when achieved, victory is, over ones self, only then, free will they be, to truly love another...hmmm....yes.

yes, patience...require it you do.

I know this sounds sort of ed up, but I need some advice. If anyone is good at this , please respond or PM me.

Good day to you all,
JohnSmith

May the force be with you, always.

[TDMVPDPOY]

plutonic friends everyone needs them

[SequSpur]

as long as she makes pie and get your crown and coke.. she's a keeper..

[dickface]

[2Blonde]

You do realize that you MARRIED her and not LEASED her. There aren't term limits, upgrades & satisfaction-or-your-old-life-back-guaranteed. Short of abusive behavior in a marriage you do your best to keep those VOWS you made.
Under no cir stances should you tell her what your feeling if you haven't decided what to do. Work it out in your head first. She doesn't deserve to lose her sense of security because you're having 2nd thoughts. All marriages go through ups & downs. That why the vows say "for better or worse". Think about how you would feel if you found out your spouse only signed on for "the better".

[urunobili]

I think you should cheat her once to realize how wonderful she is... marriage could be a waste of time unless you fully commit to it... best way to see if you're in it for good or not is to follow your instincts... only then you'll realize yet again and with renewed strength why u got married

[romad_20]

If I ever have those thoughts, I just think about how she is literally my best friend. There is no dude who is a better friend to me than my wife and no other woman could take her place. If you two have a deep understanding of each other don't give that up, but if you're not totally honest and you don't feel like she's your best friend then maybe you are wasting both of your time.

My wife makes every situation ok just by being by my side, no matter what. I'm one of the lucky ones, because honestly, I have no complaints besides petty that's not really important. I would take Kori's and SFIE advice.

[romad_20]

I think you should cheat her once to realize how wonderful she is... marriage could be a waste of time unless you fully commit to it... best way to see if you're in it for good or not is to follow your instincts... only then you'll realize yet again and with renewed strength why u got married

No offense, but I think that's horrible advice, especially if you have a conscience. Keeping a secret from the one person you're suppose to be totally and utterly honest with is a good way to your head up. If you could do it, what makes you think she wouldn't and then down that road you go....

[I Love Me Some Me]

There was a time when I felt this way with my wife, and there are times now when I feel that way.


But, when you're going to be married forever, what's a couple of months of bad times?

[Triumph]

why would you want to put yourself and another poor woman through all that all over again just to end up in the same place?

[jack sommerset]

Sounds like you should not have gotten married. Thats ur bad. You should have done some research before you stepped off the cliff. If no kids are involved leave her ass now. If kids are involved suck it up buddy and don't be a about it.

[Ballcox]

I think what you're experiencing is very common, 10 plus years and 3 kids into my marriage and I'll have moments where I think 'What if...'

Problem is, I'm not the same person I was before marrying my wife. The single lifestyle I used to live would not be the same, and I just can't even envision a life where I'm not a husband and a dad.

Take a hard look at your relationship, if you're having doubts then chances are so is she. Take the time to talk about it and come up with some ideas that can lead to both of you being interested and invested in your marriage. Because, to me, when a marriage is going well it has the ability to provide a quality of life like nothing else I've ever experienced. BUT, when a marriage is going bad it can cause you to question everything, make you feel depressed, lose sleep, etc.

Just take the time to be honest with yourself and your wife, and really try to include her in the thought process/decision making. Just my 2 cents.

[johnsmith]

Sound advice from all (especially since I had forgotten that I started this thread).

I went out with a buddy of mine who recently divorced. This guy has been having the time of his life since the divorce and I think that has been part of my problem.

We ended up going to the bars and then drinking beers and I passed out on his couch. I woke up the next morning, went home, and thought maybe married life isn't so bad.

Carry on folks, nothing to see here. JohnSmith feels better. Thanks for the advice though, it was much appreciated..........especially Yoda's.

[PakiDan]

I've been married for just a hair over two years. It's been good (not great), but lately all I can think about is "man I could have fun if I was single", and this thought process has probably led to many arguments and frankly, has invaded my mind of late.

i love my wife very much, but I loved goofing off and being single almost as much (ok, just as much).



So my question is this, does everyone go through this? Am I normal in regards to marriage and just be patient or should I nip this in the bud?

I know this sounds sort of ed up, but I need some advice. If anyone is good at this , please respond or PM me.

Good day to you all,
JohnSmith

Dude,

I went through the EXACT same thing. Then I got divorced. I've been single for just over five years and I WISH I was MARRIED. This is a tough one.

[RandomGuy]

I've been married for just a hair over two years. It's been good (not great), but lately all I can think about is "man I could have fun if I was single", and this thought process has probably led to many arguments and frankly, has invaded my mind of late.

i love my wife very much, but I loved goofing off and being single almost as much (ok, just as much).



So my question is this, does everyone go through this? Am I normal in regards to marriage and just be patient or should I nip this in the bud?

I know this sounds sort of ed up, but I need some advice. If anyone is good at this , please respond or PM me.

Good day to you all,
JohnSmith

From a guy who is in his 14th year of marriage:

There will always be that whisper in the back of your head. It never goes away, because men are simply hardwired that way.

That said, there is always the choice to do something about it, and that is fully within your control.

Either:

1) Your wife is a sensible, decent person and is worth fully committing to for the long haul.

2) Your wife is not those things.

Eventually, someday, somewhere, even if you were single, you WILL eventually want to settle down.

The question you have to ask yourself in whether to stay married is that have you gotten lucky for the long-term?

The supply of women who make for good short-term sexual partners is MUCH, MUCH greater than the supply of women who make for good long term life partners. The same goes for the other way as well, ladies, just to be fair. If you give up a good long term partner, you take the chance that you may never find another.

If your wife is a long-term keeper, why give that up for some short-term gains of being single again?

It sounds to me like you love her enough to be convinced that she is a long-term keeper, so your choice is rather obvious, i.e. to simply stay married and monogomous.

I have not mentioned the other alternatives that offer a "middle road", such as swinging or polyamory, as that is something that may or may not appeal to everyone for a variety of reasons. Since this is not something that my wife and I do or consider a possibility, I can't really offer much advice that way. I can say that it seems to be a difficult thing to do, with a lot of complicating factors. Do your research, and know what you are getting into on all levels if you go that route.

[BacktoBasics]

Yoda pretty much owned this thread.

[ploto]

I went out with a buddy of mine who recently divorced. This guy has been having the time of his life since the divorce and I think that has been part of my problem.

There is a good chance that he is simply telling you he is having the time of his life. Worst thing a married person can do is take the advise of someone who is recently divorced and tells them how great it is.

[RandomGuy]

Problem is, I'm not the same person I was before marrying my wife. The single lifestyle I used to live would not be the same, and I just can't even envision a life where I'm not a husband and a dad.

I agree. That is exactly how I feel.

I have grown a lot and have assumed the awesome and weighty responsibility of being a dad. That is freaking awesome on so many levels, from the weighty to the sublime.

The other day I got to introduce my two boys, 5 and 2 yrs, to a whoopie cushion, a form of humor so basic that even the 2 year old seemed to get it.

That right there I would not trade for anything.

[RandomGuy]

Yoda pretty much owned this thread.

Yup.