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sounds like the other kids are being kids. it sucks, but if she has thick skin no biggie.
So me and the youngest were watching a movie and we started talking about how some people make fun of others and she tells me that she gets teased at school for being a "nerd" and I said, "Say again!?".
So she tells me how other kids, boys and girls, tease her about her grades and that they'd rather be "cool" than have good grades and be a "nerd". So I tell her to tell them that she can do more than one thing at once and that she can be cool AND get good grades at the same time. That she can defend herself without making fun of them in return.
She's only 9. Are kids this young already into looking "cool" and making fun of those who are succeeding?
Now some of you may think she is a taddle tale because I've taught her that she doesn't need to take crap from anyone regarding her looks, religion or race and she did tell me that she has told the teacher on more than one occasion and caused a classmate to get a "sign off". Maybe that isn't giving her such a good rep at school but so be it.
What say you? My kids know that I do not tolerate teasing of another child for ANY reason and that I'd better not ever catch them joining in on the so called "fun" of teasing. In fact, she's come to the defense of others several times and has be-friended some of her best friends.
Any of you other parents ever run into this? Am I raising her to be weak? She has my temper so I'm not worried about her defending herself and she's in Karate class but knows that using it in school is a definite NO.
sounds like the other kids are being kids. it sucks, but if she has thick skin no biggie.
Yeah kids are kids.
She should just tell them in the future their PARENTS will be working for her.
I have a 9-year old daughter also, and her girl friends are already catty little beyotches.
I've told her that it really doesn't matter what other people say or think about her. The more she lets it bother her, the more power she gives to the person saying something. If she shows she doesn't care what someone else thinks of her, then it completely takes the power away from the person trying to hurt her.
I remember some classmates who made fun of me when I was young. Three years ago, I got them classified as enemy combatants and had them rendered to Syria. Ha-ha!
Tell her that she may not understand this right now, but in 10 years none of these little s will mean ANYTHING and that grades are #1.
School drama is completely pointless. Words are just words and therefore harmless. Tell her these kids making fun of her will be losers at 20 while she will be off making something of herself. Get her to develop a certain satisfaction knowing this while they themselves are completely oblivious to it.
That and once you hit high school, smart people are respected if it's not a school.
If I ever have a son I will be pumping life lessons in him nonstop haha. I will raise a little Spartan.
Last edited by Rohirrim; 01-02-2009 at 05:23 PM.
The answer is simple.
Smart people make good money. (Surely she can cite a name these kids are familar with)
So they can make fun of her all she wants while they clean her mansion and wax her Lambo.
You need to give her a line to drop.
"I'd rather be a nerd like Bill Gates and drive a Ferarri then be cool and drive a Neon"
make sure she brings up a car that one of the kids parents have so they feel poor and stupid.
Yeah, I know kids will be kids but it makes me wonder what they are being taught at home where it all begins, IMO, and thanks for the responses.
My child wears the label of "nerd" proudly.
People don't realize that ignoring it won't work. Not at that age. If she ignores it they'll pound harder until they get a reaction out of her. You don't want that phone call. She just needs a passive aggressive one liner to let the other kids know she's wittier. Its easy to make a 9 year old look stupid with a well crafted one liner. They usually don't come back for more.
True. Nip it in the bud.
Nerds are cool.
My niece is a nerd and she's the coolest 12 year old I know.
Last edited by tlongII; 01-02-2009 at 06:11 PM.
One liners are good.
"Have you ever seen the back seat of a Chevy Trailblazer?" works good for me
I have a nephew who is 13, and is one of your typical quiet kids. Bright but shy and mellow, plays a lot of video games, etc. Reminds me a lot of myself at that age. He gets teased for a lot of the same things, so what I told him was that the sooner he realizes that the 'majority' usually isn't looking out for his own best interests, the better.
Being one of the 'smart kids' hasn't been cool for some time now. But even if you ask most kids if they'd rather be smart and a nerd, or popular but stupid, they'd opt to be smart. The best advice I think you can give her is to ignore what the 'crowd' is doing, and that she should simply worry about making friends with people she likes and is comfortable with.
I was probably heralded as a nerd through school, and eventually came to embrace it. After that, I started hanging out with people from all groups, from the kids in my Honors classes to the riffraff after class, and just made friends as I saw fit. Being comfortable in your own skin is much more important than fitting into some mold.
^RACK!! That's what I'm talking about....right there!!!
Ahhh, America, where learning, education and striving to better oneself is a detriment amongst their peers.
Take B2Bs advice.
I was always the "get along with everybody" kind of person and used to be the one sticking up for those who were made fun of and they would stop because I'd knock theyre ing teeth out if they didnt cease and desist immediately.
As I got older, I realized all those nerds and geeks are BY FAR having the last laugh in the hartiest of fashions. Nerds employ "cool" kids.
Very true. I had a good friend in elementary school who shot up to 5'8 by the fifth grade, and kids would make fun of her and say things like, "How's the weather up there?" and she'd say, "Drafty." The ones that got it didn't mess with her anymore, and the ones that didn't get just looked dumb.
Anyways, being a nerd is cool. I wouldn't emphasize her "differences" from her peers so much as how there's nothing wrong with being smart and these kids are just too lazy to put forth the same efforts as her. That doesn't make these other kids better.
But at this age, girls don't need to be told how different they are, because it's important to feel like they fit in, and any kid over age 6 won't take "they're just jealous" as anything more than feeding them a line, even if it's true. And while it's good to remind kids that in the future they will be better off, it's important to have another benefit to getting good grades and being a "nerd" now since kids that age don't really have a concept of time and it's easy to blow something like that off.
I taught day camp classes for that age group for two summers in the past, and those little girls can be total es. I mean like really freaking cruel. Is there some sort of gifted and talented program at the school that she could get involved with? Kids tend to keep up with their potential when they're surrounded by other people who think that good grades and learning are cool.
being a nerd is not cool... being smart is cool. once she learns to say funny back she will be smart and look cool. then the dumb kids will pick on someone else.
Having read your views over the years about what you will and will not allow your girls to do, I think it's a pretty valid assumption that, because of those rules, at some point your daughters will be subjected to ridicule of some form. Is it right? No! But, it is pretty much guaranteed that when you stress grades and don't allow your daughters to partake in any of the societal norms that their peers do (ie..shaving, plucking, waxing, nail polish, makeup, etc.), then they will get teased at some point. You just have to make sure that teaching them to be strong and believe in themselves is also in your arsenal.
I believe it's wrong to tease any child. But I also know that things I believe in, often cause torment for my daughter when she's with a group at school that has been taught something different by their parents. You made the decision to to raise them a certain way and eventually the parameters you set up will get challenged by other kids. Trust that you are doing it for their long term good and that short term ribbing is not important. They will be stronger for it.
But the kid is a Chalupa. Kind of blows that theory
Last edited by jack sommerset; 01-02-2009 at 10:25 PM.
Everyone that age wants to be cool nowadays, just look at what they watch and the people on those shows. I hate to sound like an old bas but MTV has fallen to the wayside seems to show petty mother ers on that show. These are some of the reasons why people start worrying about "coolness" so early now.
Though joke will be on them. Just insure her that the people who are cool can work on TV but the "Nerds" who are smart will be signing their checks.
"I'm not a nerd Bart... nerds are smart"
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