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looks like you're just acting on what she's throwing at you. quit being "nice"
So about a year ago I met this woman through mutual friends at a bar and we ended up hitting it off. We slept together a few times in the spring. It's been and on and off again thing. She broke up with her fiancee two months before we met and has said she didn't want a serious rel'ship right away. Whatever.
I hit her up for a booty call back in November. Anyways, in the meantime, I moved 3 blocks away from her since it's close to my job. She also broke her arm, was off work and was staying with her mom and friends since she couldn't dress herself, etc...So we both go to a birthday party right before Christmas for a mutual friend. She shows up late with her best friend and some dude. I figured out soon enough that the dude was just a friend. Anyways, we're chatting at the party, getting along well, since we have good chemistry. She left with the people she came with, since they drove her and she's got this cast on her arm and can't drive herself. While we're talking, she's giving me some horror stories about guys she's been on dates with, how they're all clowns, won't stop calling her every day, and how since she broke up with her fiancee, I'm the best guy she's met and I'm the closest she's come to really dating anybody, I give her her space, etc...
She leaves and our mutual friend Bob is pumping me up: "Dude! You and Laura really should be a couple! You have such good chemistry..."
I go home after last call and get a text at 4 in the morning from her: "It was so good to see you again! Now that we're neighbours we need to get together soon..." So I texted back something like "yeah, that sounds good. Good to see you too..." I played it cool this time unlike my last text message that I chronicled here.
Christmas Eve I called her to wish a Merry Christmas and got her voicemail. Then she never ing called me back...EVER. Fine, whatever. Today at work she IMs me on facebook and is telling me she's home again. I'm pissed at her over the never returned call, but I decided to play it cool and not raise a stink over IM about it. So we're making chitchat, and I inquired about her well-being and her arm, and asked her if she had been cleared for all her usual activities, and she's like "what do you mean by that?Are you being a perv?"
Then she writes this:
Her: "i have a date this weekend with this funny dude. he was all, "well, what do you want to do on saturday? i can think of a few things you can do with only one hand. what a head. haha.
"you should have seen me trying to do that stuff with a cast on! it was totally hilarious.
not that i do much of that..."
me: "giving handjobs?"
Her: "well, not that specifically, but you know. that nature of things."
Okay, what I want to know is why is she telling me about this stuff? We're not an exclusive couple, she owes me nothing, certainly not a returned phone call, and she's telling me about guys she's going out on dates with and messing around with? I have two other prospects right now, one of whom I've fooled around with, but do I tell her about them? NO.
I kinda have feelings for her, and I was kinda pumped after that Christmas party, but what the am I supposed to do? Calls don't get returned, then she messages me on facebook to tell me about other guys? Is she worth the trouble at this point? Is she being malicious, or just generally oblivious about how I might not want to hear about her going on dates with other guys and fooling around?
Last edited by Findog; 01-09-2009 at 07:04 PM.
looks like you're just acting on what she's throwing at you. quit being "nice"
If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 problems but a ain't one.
I'm not being anything. I understand don't be a wussy nice guy, but how are you supposed to handle this?
Stay away. Women who are into you won't tell you about sex with other guys.
there lies your problem.
That's what I figured. I guess she's not into me anymore, because she certainly was at one time in the recent past.
You like girls?
You say "NEXT"!!! Seriously, we only get a certain amount of time on earth, do you really want to spend it trying figure out what some spaced-out is trying to accomplish by screwing with your head?
I guess not. Would you agree that is not classy behavior?You say "NEXT"!!! Seriously, we only get a certain amount of time on earth, do you really want to spend it trying figure out what some spaced-out is trying to accomplish by screwing with your head?
Wasn't this girl screwing around with you when she was still engaged?
You sound emotionally invested. She sounds like she's worried about her reputation (and with good reason since Spurstalk is weighing in). If I'm completely wrong, then you want her to shut up, do what you do to her when she talks in bed--tell her to shut up.
You moved into the friend zone without even knowing it.
You handle it by not talking to her ever again unless she has her mouth firmly wrapped around your cack.
No. She broke up with him in November 2007. We didn't meet until January 2008.
i think BackToBS may need to weigh in on this one.
Ooh good one!I think you know what the problem is: "We're not an exclusive couple, she owes me nothing". She probably feels the same way or at least believes that you are seeing it only as sex, booty calls, etc. It sounds like you want something more---so you need to tell her. If she feels the same she will stop doing it. I'm afraid you are going to have to take a risk and bring it up or just forget about any type of relationship with her. Is she clueless and oblivious? It's possible. I know guys who have sometimes felt that I want them to read my mind about things; but I'm (women) the same way. I can't read minds and unless they tell me what's on their mids I just have to go with what I think. I don't think she's a malicious
And doesn't it go: A s everybody and a s everybody except you...?
EDIT: Missed the first part, it's answer A.
i just realized you were wanting an opinion if you should have a relationship with a "malicious " or not.
Gotca...
Ok, based on what I've seen I think (based on the fact that you mentioned it), the turning point at which this became something more emotional on your end was after the party. She said to you that night that one of the things she liked about you was that you "give her space". After the party, Third-Party-Bob said he thought you guys should be together.
Seems to me like you forgot what she said about space, and took to heart what someone else said about a relationship. She never wanted anything more from you than casual, non-committed, no-strings-attached sex.
Your bad.
I say she is a straight up . She wants . Give the what she wants findog. You sound like a nice guy. Go that and treat her like a . She will love it. You deserve it.
Hey! Bad love is better than no love. Or so I've been told!
i just realized you were wanting an opinion if you should have a relationship with a "malicious " or not.
On second thought, serenade her.
Tell her you don't want to hear about it. If she's into you, she'll think it's sweet that you don't want to think of her with other men. Maybe that's what she's been trying to get you to say all along.
If she's not into you, well... she's not into you, so what did you lose?
well you gotta have some sort of respect for the woman if he wants a relationship. even though i think disgruntled nailed it with the friendzone comment. shoulda. woulda. coulda.Hey! Bad love is better than no love. Or so I've been told!
Move on Findog.
God Bless.
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