I still don't think it's a given that this chick is playing games.
If Findog has given the impression that he wants to keep it casual and non-exclusive, then, , maybe this is just her being casual. As someone pointed out earlier in this thread (maalox, maybe? I don't remember who), it's no more fair for guys to expect us to read their minds than it is for us to expect guys to read ours.
If it is a head , and it's entirely possible that it is, it should become pretty obvious once you're direct about what you're looking for from her. And, again, if it's a head , walk away. Quickly.
I can't stand the girls who play mind games, though. Not only because they're a pain in the ass, but because the games have made guys so ing gun shy that they're constantly looking for an angle from those of us who don't play them.
<<<<<< Proposed after third date...and it wasn't desperation or anything of the sort, it was a without a doubt this was the girl I wanted to marry.
BTW, I don't disagree with this...in fact I pretty much want no part of any chick that comes on to me strong, the agressive ones are usually the crazy ones.
Is it her responsibility to ask whether or not it's cool for her to give someone else a handjob, though? Or is it Findog's responsibility to let her know that it's not? Or is it both?
If I'm in a casual, non-exclusive, friends with benefits relationship, I'm going to assume it's okay for me to do whatever I please until the other party tells me that it's not. Or until I begin to develop stronger feelings, in which case I would let that be known. If it's mutually casual, and I've been given no indication that's changed, though, a handjob wouldn't seem at all against the rules. Nor would talking about it, frankly, though I don't know that I would go there, personally.
Ah well a lot of guys play games too...
The recent peeve I have with women is the ones that get pissed off at you and turn into a if you don't come on to them right off the bat. I'm just not in that big of a hurry anymore.
Actually...if this chick isn't playing games with Findog...then she's that type. He's not moving fast enough for her so she's still ing with his head...at some point I hope people outgrow that .
One could argue that since she's the one who mainly wasn't lookin for anything serious since she just got out of an egagement...it's up to her to suggest the next stage, not Findog.
Findog, you said waiting for a woman to fall into your lap isn't going to happen...well you aren't likely to develop ESP any time soon either so if ahostile handjob is the type of signal you are gonna get...
Yeah but she hasn't been talking about giving other guys handjobs from the get go...
Hey I agree if it's casual then he's really got no cause to get upset about...at the same time, if she's just starting this out of the blue, she's either going on him...or she is trying to send a message she wants to get serious in a really ed up way.
One could easily argue it sends the wrong message on Findog's part for him to pursue her more strongly if this is the way she sends messages.
I sure don't miss my single days at all and I went through those kind of scenarios. Getting confused between booty calls and real feelings. Do I or don't I...does she or doesn't she...will she or won't she..should I or shouldn't I.....I'm so confused. I usually just went with the flow.
...unless she's trying to get a reaction from you.
I'm not into playing games, but I've seen it plenty of times.
It sounds to me like you need to be honest with each other.
If you have feelings for her, you need to put it out there and find out once and for all where you stand.
If you truly are just a casual booty call for her, at least you'll know and you can move on...or not. whatever.
But I'm all for honesty.
You should try the popcorn trick
the what?
the what?
it doesnt matter if she is playing games or not
who the F wants to have a serious relationship with a woman like that
mother of your kids? yuck
you are fooled by a pros ute, dear findog. they are so de able that they never consider your feelings. Don't be serious with a like her in future but you have already been badly harmed by that . believe me my brother you are not alone. those s have been cheating these casualties in millions since before you were born. I think watching some movies may help you a little bit. I'm so sad about your experience that it seems it also happened to me. Watch "perfect stragner" and you are gonna have a clear picture of what a real should be.
http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/perfect_stranger/
go henry miller on her the next time she calls. and should be your key words.
Right after college, I had a job in Austin working for the Texas Legislative Council. There was this girl right out of college as well, her name was Angela. The first time Angela met me, she pretty much threw herself at me. It was very, very strong. I was a lot more awkward then, and didn't typically receive that kind of attention from females at the time, so I thought something was up. Sure enough, I saw her interact with every single guy in the Agency the same way, just way over the top flirtation.
She started dating my buddy Patrick, but even he wasn't the true object of her desire. She was really after this guy Joel. She and Patrick had been an exclusive item for like one week when he caught a plane to go home to California for the Christmas holidays. The night he left, she went to a work party and ended up making out with Joel. Patrick comes back and without prompting she fessed up to what had happened. He figured anybody that would be making out with other dudes so soon into a rel'ship was only trouble, so he kicked her to the curb. She and Joel were an item almost immediately afterward. They got married this year, so I guess it was meant to be, but the point is that I've seen women go as far as to date guys in order to get the attention of another.
It is clear that you're on the wrong ladder.
Especially if she's trying to get a reaction from you.
You don't need this bull .
Here's the guideline for guys to follow:
Always assume attraction. Train your mind to assume attraction so you aren't worried over whether or not she likes you. You'll find that out through your interactions with how she reacts to sexual tension and kino (physical contact).
Develop a strong, playful physical rapport from the get go.
Never pay too much attention to what a woman says. Always look at what she does and how she says things. Women are masters of double speak and non-verbal communication, and you need to learn to be too. Just knowing body language and how to interpret actions will get you very far. Women constantly test you to see how you react. If you pass, instant attraction. If you fail... Attraction decreases.
Forget the old mindset of attraction being something that either is there or isn't. Attraction is more like a meter that increases or decreases based on your interactions. Just because she's into you today doesn't mean you have a free pass to act like a clingy, needy girly man.
At all cost... Work on your inner emotional and mental self to remove limiting beliefs and all insecurity. This is the big one, once you develop an almost complete lack of insecurity your entire physical and mental outlook will change to the positive and you will attract women like crazy.
Always remember that women are security seeking creatures. Be honest and up front with her even if you think it will push her away. Be honest about your sexual interest through action, not words. If a woman feels safe and secure with you and you create that sexual tension then she will follow you to the ends of the earth to please you in return.
Just some pointers to consider, things that have always helped me develop a very successful and fulfilling dating life.
Keep that as a with benefits until you find someone that you truly care about that recipricates.
it's spelled reciprocate, heath
maybe if you spent more time learning and less time eating cheeseburgers you wouldn't stomp around and break your treadmills
why would you move 3 blocks from a booty call...coincidence?
Just hit it....and forget it.
Seems to me that you got some notion of wanting more attachment based upon what a third party told you, and there was never any discussion actually with her. Tell her- not just us.
Whiskey Dog you possess a unique insight and have much good advice to offer, I have to vehemently disagree with the above noted comment. It's best to discuss all aspects of the relationship. And looking thru this thread, every female who has commented has said the same thing: Tell her!
+1
Thanks for the comment, but I think you and I were thinking of two different things. I agree with you that while in a relationship it's essential to communicate and discuss all aspects, and both people need to be secure and mature enough to handle it without getting too emotionally unstable. When I was younger I screwed up some good relationships with good women I wanted to be with because I was sneaky and kept talking to other women due to a personal insecurity and fear of committing to only one woman and losing my options. That led to a horrible mental and emotional focus that the women could easily sense and that shaped their behavior towards me. Instead of being happy and secure with me they were su ious and jealous and that in turn made me su ious and it all went to . After screwing up relationship after relationship my goofy ass finally connected that personal insecurity with the results I was getting. I corrected that insecurity in my mind for my current relationship and I've found that the lack of insecurity draws her to me like a magnet and there aren't those trust issues, it's great.Whiskey Dog you possess a unique insight and have much good advice to offer
+1
What I was talking about in my original quote was directed to that time before there really is a strong sexual relationship between the two people. Most guys I know and have worked with like to verbalize everything to women early on. They like to ask women if they would go out with them instead of assuming attraction and inviting her along with them while they did something. They sometimes even explicitly ask women they're seeing for sex or for sexual favors instead of building the sexual tension through touch, foreplay, and sensual (not sexual) conversation to the point where she gets turned on and sex naturally happens. That's what I meant about not displaying sexual intent with words but with actions. You don't tell a woman you want to have sex with her, you run your hands through the back of her hair, kiss her on the neck and earlobes, use a lot of slow gentle touch strokes on areas nearing but not touching her zones, etc.
My personal opinion is that you will not be able to hit it with that skank any more. Let me know if I'm wrong, but I think you're DONE.
Just whip out the . That way you don't have to talk and you won't get rejected from physical advancements. Sit in ur car with ur hanging out and see what happens. If you do this make sure u are smiling.
edit: Thats not for findog, thats general information for those who don't know what do.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
