Reply With Quote
I know and i am trying but she wont give a real honset answer on why she wants this or even talk about it.
has anyone been throw this
A little buzzer just went off in my head. Does she have a job at all? And do you work a regular job?i know and there so young 4 and 2 and 10 mons.
I know and i am trying but she wont give a real honset answer on why she wants this or even talk about it.
has anyone been throw this
Yes, I have. Im remarried. My EX said she hadnt been happy for a long while. She came outta no where also. She was having an affair though I found out later. Cheaters like to rewrite history. Its cool though, she did me a favor. Found the love of me life
I abhor stories like that, except that you found the love of your life.Yes, I have. Im remarried. My EX said she hadnt been happy for a long while. She came outta no where also. She was having an affair though I found out later. Cheaters like to rewrite history. Its cool though, she did me a favor. Found the love of me life
Yep! I'd been married almost 9 years and we had 4 children when my husband said he wanted a divorce. Took me totally by surprise - I had no idea he was that unhappy. When I asked him why, he just said he was tired of the responsibility and wanted to live his own life.
Turns out - he was having an affair with my friend! And he'd been cheating on me with god knows how many women for 7 years! He said it was a game to him to see how long he could keep cheating without me finding out. He was and is a real prick! However, the divorce and subsequent bad blood between us really caused our children a lot of emotional distress. All 4 of them still bear the emotional scars from it.
So - if there's any way you can salvage the marriage and make it better - please try for your children's sake.
It sounds like a cry for attention. I would encourage marriage counseling through the church. I would also encourage that you take charge in setting up the counseling sessions. She might be waiting for you to take action, instead of running.
It's a tough situation. I hope that this situation strengthens your marriage.
Stay strong. God Bless.
What I meant to say was…Clean up your own act but don’t beat yourself up…Relationships are two way street…If the wife wants to end it & pretend that EVERYTHING is your fault there is not much you can do to fix it…
sorry that happened to you
hey if this dosent work out with the wife you wanna go get a beer
lol i am kidding sorry
I am going to do everything i can to make it work just right now it feels like i am fighting a up hill battle
My grandparents were married for 52 years before my grandfather passed away, and when my mom and aunt reflected back on their marriage, the thing that came up the most was how much he loved my grandmother and how he always put her first, even before (though not at the expense of) their children.
What that did was (1) make the house a much more enjoyable place to be (2) enriched their marriage, and (3) set a good example for their children. My parents have been married 31 years, and they've always imparted that philosophy on my sister and me as well. Marriage is a load of work - it can be like having another full-time job during the harder times, but you have to believe that it's worth it and that you want it.
You can love your kids more than the world, but if you love your wife you need to show her that same consideration. My best friend grew up in a house where she wanted nothing more than for her parents to get divorced, because the marriage wasn't working and they weren't really trying to make it better. Don't put your kids through that. If you love your wife, then it shouldn't matter who makes the counseling appointment, just that it gets made and you both show up willing to work on things.
It was 20 years ago - but we still can't stand each other and we don't talk at all! It still causes problems for my kids and they're all grown now. My daughter is my youngest and she's getting married in April - I can hardly wait to see him and the step-monster again!
Seriously though - it has been on my kids because they've had to choose between their father and me so many times. It was not the life I wanted for my kids, but their father and stepmother just refused to be civil. Also, for various reasons, the kids lived with their father for a period of time. It was horrible on me and I missed out on so much in their lives.
Do whatever you have to do to get your wife to talk to you. You can share my experience with her and ask her if she really wants to be a single parent of 3 young children - or later down the line deal with the step-parent thing. It's really hard on the children. Try to remember why you fell in love and what attracted you and her to each other - and then build on that.
I wish you all the best!
All married couples fight
You just got to work through it.
Good Luck, We'll say a prayer for you and your family
I respect those who advise you to do whatever it takes to to make your marriage work for the sake of the children. And although I believe the children are the most important issue, I can't help but think back to my own childhood. I was raised in one of those homes where the marriage was salvaged for the sake of the kids. Both my parents made every effort to give us a happy life and a solid start. But there was always something, something miniscule that wasn't quite right. And oddly I always knew and always felt responsible for something I didn't understand. Took me into my 30's to work that out. Anyone have the same experience?
thankyou
Man - this thread is like therapy! But I did have that same experience. My dad was a "stuffer" - he'd let things just build up until he exploded with rage and it usually resulted in something getting broken. I knew there was something wrong and could sense the tension and I always felt like it must be my fault. I was the 2nd of four kids - so I was the over-achiever. I thought if I just worked harder and got good grades and was a "good" girl, then everything would be okay.
My dad left my mom after 38 years of marriage - after all us kids were grown and on our own. He hated my ex-husband for what he did to me; but it turns out my dad had cheated on my mom - so he wasn't any different! I was really upset when I found out. It was one of the reasons I moved away from Michigan and came to San Antonio - I had to get away from the situation because it was having a negative effect on my life. I was so angry at my dad that I didn't talk to him for 2 years!
But - I still think the best thing is to try to work things out. But if it comes down to a divorce or raising your kids in a very toxic environment - then it would probably be the lesser of two evils to get the divorce.
I thought the same thing, especially after Lebomb's post. I'm guessing she's a somewhat lonely housewife with a bit of a temper and he's a working stiff that hits the bottle when the wife is pissed off.
You're normal folks, my Sooner friend. It'll blow over.
Do whatever it takes to keep your kids nearby, either getting things straight with your wife and staying married, or making sure the kids stay here if you guys get divorced.
Preferable, get things straight between you and your wife. It ain't a picnic out here in the divorced world.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way, so I want to make it clear that this isn't meant sarcastically. You shouldn't be giving this type of advise because it seems you haven't gotten over your own ordeal. After 20 years the anger you felt towards your husband should have been a distant memory, but it still seems rather fresh for you. It also seems you tied that anger in with the issues you had with your father as well. I agree the best thing to do is salvage your marriage if it is salvageable, but Mrs. Maloox is right. If two people are miserable together then they probably need to be apart, and it has nothing to do with the kids if the two work together to help them understand.
Have you ever thought how your life might have been had your parents divorced? Your mom and dad might have been at each others throats, one or both might have remarried (perhaps a couple of more times each) and you would have had step parents or step brothers/sisters to deal with, financially things might have been a lot more tight.
sometimes people mistake tough times as being miserable. Maybe one or both are just selfish bas s and need to check themselves. At a minimum they need to give counseling a shot. However, if infidelity is involved all bets are off.
Yeah the wife stays home with them kids, and takes care of a few other kids for extra money.
then i work late from 1-10 and some times go in early
Believe me I've thought about that a lot. Unfortunately the only conclusion I could ever come up with is being sorry that they both lived their lives that way and never had true love or happiness.
Dude, not only are you her husband, you're probably one of the only adults she comes into contact with every day. You really should take more time out to engage her in conversation that's more meaningful than, "No I haven't seen your sippy-cup, where did you last have it?"
Do you love your wife?
If you do, stay married.
If you don't, get a divorce.
Simple as that.
sorry i missed this earlyer she is a stay at home mom
not so simple to understand what love really is. some mistake it for boners.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
