Divorce

[jack sommerset]

Should have never married her

[pkbpkb81]

You aren't being a great dad if you are a bad husband to their mother. They see and hear everything.

when i saw i haven't been a good husban it's not like iam beating her or yelling at her in front of the kids. our commication is bad and she is the type of person that getts mad at something and sits on it for 3 months then blows up then comes at me and of coures i dont let her say what she needs to i get pissed too and a small fight about leaveing mus out (when she's really mad that i stayed out too late 3 months earlyer) turns in to a big thing

[01Snake]

Push her down some stairs. Problem solved.

[Jekka]

when i saw i haven't been a good husban it's not like iam beating her or yelling at her in front of the kids. our commication is bad and she is the type of person that getts mad at something and sits on it for 3 months then blows up then comes at me and of coures i dont let her say what she needs to i get pissed too and a small fight about leaveing mus out (when she's really mad that i stayed out too late 3 months earlyer) turns in to a big thing

Yeah, you two need to learn how to argue productively. Counseling can help with that. Also, if you recognize that she's upset about something when it happens, take the initiative and talk about it then instead of letting her stew on it.

[pkbpkb81]

Push her down some stairs. Problem solved.

you know if i did that then i would go to jail and not get to see my kids so that dosent really work for me

[SequSpur]

Dude, you just need to hit it harder and longer and bring her some ice cream. The rest of this advice is ing gay..

especially from peeps in this forum who have never sniffed marriage...

Sometimes you go through these hurdles and you have to stay strong and be patient with each other. Think long term instead of that day and will happen for the good.

With three little kids, it's got to be frickin right now, because you have no in life, because your life revolves around being a daycare center. Tough it out, the rewards will come and will get better.

Been there....

Go Spurs.

[pkbpkb81]

Dude, you just need to hit it harder and longer and bring her some ice cream. The rest of this advice is ing gay..

especially from peeps in this forum who have never sniffed marriage...

Sometimes you go through these hurdles and you have to stay strong and be patient with each other. Think long term instead of that day and will happen for the good.

With three little kids, it's got to be frickin right now, because you have no in life, because your life revolves around being a daycare center. Tough it out, the rewards will come and will get better.

Been there....

Go Spurs.

thanks man

[SequSpur]

dude.. tomorrow on your way home from work, stop by baskin robbins and pick up a quart of ice cream for her. don't get anything else, nothing for the kids, just her. oh and make sure it's one that she likes.. works everytime.

[Frenzy]

thanks man

married for 7 years.

major prob at 2 years....and 4 years and 5 years. Been free of major prob since. But i reckon it won't be the last...No marriage is perfect. None.

You need to examine the problem...something lead to this. Fix it...and try your hardest to do it. Both of yall... a marriage is not one sided. Good luck man ....seriously.

[fotan2]

take it easy ,bro . i think it will end up getting well , although i am not married .

my parent were on the verge of divorcing once when i was a child(can't recall the reason), eventually it was like nothing has happened .

however , you need to make some moves .

[desflood]

If she's homesick, then that's her problem. She needs to grow up.

That's... not necessarily a fair statement. It's kind of difficult to be a young mom stuck in the house all the time with a lot of little children and no family around. Especially if you feel invisible even to your own spouse. It's very easy to get depressed in that situation.

She might actually be depressed, in which case the counseling would be an even better idea.

[ploto]

when i saw i haven't been a good husban it's not like iam beating her or yelling at her in front of the kids.

Neglect can be just as damaging to a marriage as abuse.

[TDMVPDPOY]

how old are your kids?

so you have 8months with counseling and stuff??

thats a good period where you can start transfering ur house/car/bank le to me or ur parents.....

alimony is a biatch, but if you have children? do the responsible thing and pay child support.....

ps. theres an old saying, never teach a couple how to divorce, teach them how to mend their relationship

[marini martini]

I'm gonna add my 2 cents here for a moment. In every marriage that is successful, both sides must want it, #1. If you want it, then you both must definitely make the time to be alone together at least once a month. Get a sitter, take her out to dinner, have a few drinks together, loosen up and relax. Just talk, talk about anything and everything. "Date night" is detrimental to a successful marriage, I don't care how long you've been married., even if you have kids at home or not.

Yeah, it's nice you let her out once a month to be with her girlfriends. But that can come back and bite you in the ass. Especially if some of her girlfriends are miserable in their own personal relationships. Usually in that case, they all feed off one another, and become each other's drama coach.

I would start with baby steps, and try Sequ's advice. Bring something home for just her only. Show and tell her how much you apreciate her, and what a great Mother you think she is.

If neither of you can agree to spend one night a month alone together for a few hours away from the kids, then screw it. The marriage is pretty much a lost cause.

Good luck!

[TDMVPDPOY]

Yeah, it's nice you let her out once a month to be with her girlfriends. But that can come back and bite you in the ass. Especially if some of her girlfriends are miserable in their own personal relationships. Usually in that case, they all feed off one another, and become each other's drama coach.

gfs are dogs man, they are bad influences expecially the single moms and hoes, they think they know everything and usually give out bs advices.......

[Obstructed_View]

when i saw i haven't been a good husban it's not like iam beating her or yelling at her in front of the kids. our commication is bad and she is the type of person that getts mad at something and sits on it for 3 months then blows up then comes at me and of coures i dont let her say what she needs to i get pissed too and a small fight about leaveing mus out (when she's really mad that i stayed out too late 3 months earlyer) turns in to a big thing

Either you're too selfish to admit that you have a hand in making her unhappy, or she's doing something wrong and is conflicted about it. Get to the bottom of it, and either grow up or kick her ass to the curb. Time to put on your investigator hat for the good of your kids.

[lebomb]

There are some things Ive learned through two marriages........... you should always treat your spouse with respect and give them love and attention. I also learned that you should not have to FORCE someone to love you. You shouldnt have to buy them newer cars, jewelry.....and gift after gift after gift. It should not take all that. Its not marriage if you have to force someone to be happy with you as a spouse. Case in point.....I know a person right now going thru a divorce. Dude is like the perfect guy....always respected his wife, put her on a pedestal.....but he had to keep her happy by showering her with gifts and money throughout their marriage. Well, she ended up cheating on him. Now they are going thru a divorce and she came to her senses and wants to stay married. Too late! My friend grew tired of struggling to get her love.

[DarkReign]

My grandparents were married for 52 years before my grandfather passed away, and when my mom and aunt reflected back on their marriage, the thing that came up the most was how much he loved my grandmother and how he always put her first, even before (though not at the expense of) their children.

Married couples want some advice?

There it is. Put your spouse first, not your kids. When a spouse (usually the husband) becomes thrid on your list, the marriage is over....just a matter of time.

Its a "think of te children!" kind of country and we wonder why divorice rates are so high.

[Blake]

I don't think it's about putting wife before kids or vice versa but you are close. There are certain situations where one should take priority over the other.

pbkpblkblpbpbk81 mentioned that his wife was pissed that he was putting sports ahead of her, and then after she basically cries for attention what does he do? he goes on a nice long drinking binge.

It's no wonder she's pissed. She's at home changing diapers, bottles, doing laundry and all the other things that come with three little crying kids and I bet pbkkbkbkb tells her "I work long hours to pay these bills, I am too tired to help you, where's my dinner" or other things along those lines.

Point being, stop being a selfish prick and put yourself and the things you want to do dead last.

[DarkReign]

I don't think it's about putting wife before kids or vice versa but you are close. There are certain situations where one should take priority over the other.

It was more of a rule of thumb to be adhered to, but youre right.

pbkpblkblpbpbk81 mentioned that his wife was pissed that he was putting sports ahead of her, and then after she basically cries for attention what does he do? he goes on a nice long drinking binge.

It's no wonder she's pissed. She's at home changing diapers, bottles, doing laundry and all the other things that come with three little crying kids and I bet pbkkbkbkb tells her "I work long hours to pay these bills, I am too tired to help you, where's my dinner" or other things along those lines.

Point being, stop being a selfish prick and put yourself and the things you want to do dead last.

Youre probably not too far from the truth. Love the name, btw

[lebomb]

pbkpblkblpbpbk81 mentioned that his wife was pissed that he was putting sports ahead of her, and then after she basically cries for attention what does he do? he goes on a nice long drinking binge.

It's no wonder she's pissed. She's at home changing diapers, bottles, doing laundry and all the other things that come with three little crying kids

Point being, stop being a selfish prick and put yourself and the things you want to do dead last.

Damn......you may be right about something finally.

[SpursWoman]

I was ridiculously happy the day my divorce was final, so I don't know how much help I'd be ... but you really, really have to put her & your relationship above all else. It's rule number 1 in Family/Child Development, seriously.

The kids will grow up and move away and make their own lives and form their own relationships, and the two of you will be all you have left. You just can't use them as a crutch to get through the next 18 years or so, because then you'll end up in your 50's and miserable.

Good luck!


And oh ... the whole lots o'nailing and the ice cream thing is pretty right on.

[IronMexican]

Blake speaking da troof

[to21]

I know this might be hard to do with small kids but..........

Let her move back in with her Mom/Dad for at least six weeks.

She'll be back in four.

Worked for me. Good luck, Bro.

[Bigzax]

good luck.