V-day advice

[I. Hustle]

Well as you all know Valentines day is tomorrow and this year I am prepared. So ladies I would like your opinion. I want to know that if you walked in and saw this would your heart melt. Call me a hopeless romantic and guys you can poke fun if you want because I know how gay it is to actually plan out a romantic evening.

Ok so let me set the stage. I get home before the wife today so I figure we can celebrate today and tomorrow we can take our daughter out for a nice drive. So I bought a bunch of candles and I was looking for some that would not only add color but would last all night if you know what I mean. So I went to the store to find the perfect candle and I found a store on the southside that had exactly what I am looking for. So I bought two dozen of the prettiest religious candles I could find.
Then I thought I better go get something to drink, I mean what’s a nice romantic evening without a little alcohol right? Well I stopped by Costco and looked around to find the perfect drink. Well after looking in the liquor store for what seemed like an eternity ( there was a hot piece of ass giving out samples) and I found it/them. I grabbed a bottle of Texas Spirits Tequila and a bottle of the already mixed cuervo margarita. The dishwasher is full so I hope she doesn’t mind drinking out of my vintage Spurs championship collectable mugs ( ’99).
Then as the night continues I figured we would need something to nibble on, besides each other of course, and I went to HEB (where everything’s better) and picked up some heat and serve eggrolls and on the way home noticed that McDonalds has a 50 piece nugget combo so I am going to snag that bad boy on the way home tonight.
Then as she gets in the mood I will play a little of my classic “get you in the mood” music, that’s right you guessed it H-town’s knockin’ the boots. Once that gets her going I will lead her to the bedroom where I will slowly undress and as I take off my silk boxers she will see that I have shaved my pubes in the shape of a heart and that right above my schlong I wrote come and get it.
So after vigorous 5 minutes of love making I am hoping that she falls asleep so I can go finish of the nuggets and margaritas and watch the rookie challenge at 8:00.

So ladies what do you think?

[Dr. Gonzo]

Dude, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

[JudynTX]

You can't go wrong with that plan. It's the thought that counts.

[SpursStalker]

Nice up until the last sentence ...

[IronMexican]

[ORION]

you must be one hairy beast if you can make a full sentence out of your pubes.

[I. Hustle]

you must be one hairy beast if you can make a full sentence out of your pubes.

I just wrote with a charpie.

[ORION]

I just wrote with a charpie.

well that was the deal breaker. It is not a romantic evening then.

[IronMexican]

Lol, charpie. My dad talks like that

[ORION]

Lol, charpie. My dad talks like that

does he eat at Sonics and chop at Wal-Marks

[I. Hustle]

does he eat at Sonics and chop at Wal-Marks

I think I know that guy. He doesn't like to chare his tater tots right? And he always get's a sherry coke?

[IronMexican]

Rofl no matter how old it is to make fun of Mexican accents, I always laugh. I always tell my dad to just say it the opposite way of the way he says chair compared to shair.

[RandomGuy]

I just wrote with a charpie.

I hope you weren't using a mirror, cuz that would look stupid.

Kinda like that chick who tried to claim that some black guy beat her up and carved a "B" in her face cuz she had a McCain bumper sticker, but if you looked at the picture, the "B" was backwards, like it would be if you were stupid and looking in the mirror while trying to carve a B into your face.

[RandomGuy]

Lol, charpie. My dad talks like that

I'm glas I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

[I. Hustle]

I hope you weren't using a mirror, cuz that would look stupid.

Kinda like that chick who tried to claim that some black guy beat her up and carved a "B" in her face cuz she had a McCain bumper sticker, but if you looked at the picture, the "B" was backwards, like it would be if you were stupid and looking in the mirror while trying to carve a B into your face.

! Do you think it will come off with alcohol?

or does that just work with panties? ZING!

[I. Hustle]

Now that I think about it a little more. I am getting some more great ideas. I might even take her to the pulga (flea market) for a little dancing and a genuine (looking) coach purse

[mrsmaalox]

It's the thought that counts. Any woman would be happy for a man to make ANY effort at all

[SequSpur]

dvd, popcorn, beer, magnums

[NFO]

5 bucks says you eat half the nuggets one your drive home and when you get home you crash and take a nap sleeping through the rookie game.

[LuvBones]

I hope you weren't using a mirror, cuz that would look stupid.

Kinda like that chick who tried to claim that some black guy beat her up and carved a "B" in her face cuz she had a McCain bumper sticker, but if you looked at the picture, the "B" was backwards, like it would be if you were stupid and looking in the mirror while trying to carve a B into your face.

Haha that is hilarious! I had forgotten about that.. thanks!

[LuvBones]

Nothing says I love you like a 50 piece nugget combo, shaved pubes, and religious candles.

[I. Hustle]

dvd, popcorn, beer, magnums

Magnums? Why? Do you put your whole body in there?

careful you know what they say about babies with bags over there heads. I am not saying you are a baby by the way I was just meant you are the same height so please don't get offended.

[I. Hustle]

Nothing says I love you like a 50 piece nugget combo, shaved pubes, and religious candles.

That's what I was thinking.

[ploto]

I would watch the game with you...

[mrsmaalox]

I would watch the game with you...

That's because you were raised right!