so are u a cheater? do you think most people would cheat if given the chance and 100% not getting caught?
any who... I was talking to my buds earlier today and it came up.... one cheater on his Gf of 2 years and we didn't go all ape on him or nothing i mean it happens. But what we did kinda debate about was to actually tell his GF. See he did this like 4 months ago and well she has no idea. The girl he cheated with has since moved on and not a peep of her and not a chance of that "i'm gonna tell you gf" crap. I was like man... i think you need to be honest and tell her... my other friend was like why? she don't know... things are great between you 2 now and it would only mess up what u got in the present. I was like well yeah... but isn't honesty the best thing to do in a realtionship... i men c'mon a lie is a lie... we all do it... this just happens to be larger than others. So my freind says i think i'm gonna tell her... the guilt is eating me up inside and i feel guilty sometimes just doing normal things with her. I won't do it no more it was my once and i'll never do it again....So i was like oh so you wanna tell her just to ease your guilt? he was like no.... well yeah but to do the right thing too...hmmm
this is a pickel..
so in conclusion...Person A cheats on Person B....Person B has no idea and is happy with the relationship. Person A is feeling horrible guilt and cant live with it so Person A wants to tell Person B. person A is happy with the current relationship and has sworn not to do it again..but is not sure to tell person B.
you think people tell they cheated to do the right thing...or just to get rid of the guilt they have?
lets hear it.
I've been with my wife for over 14 yrs and have never cheated on her and have no desire to. Now I know I'll get the "goody two shoes" remarks and such but I truly love my wife and while I'm married and not buried of course I find other women attractive but that doesn't mean I'd jump into the sack at the first chance. But to be honest I've never really been in a situation where Jessica Alba or Halle Berry have been -faced and I had a chance so......
But no, I'm not a cheater. Am I a wuss?
no......... well kinda... u didn't even attempt to answer the question... not even a "well i don't cheat but i think"
Cheating in the first place is selfish. They are suddenly going to confess out of consideration for the other person? I think they confess for their own benefit---to ease the guilt.
I wouldn't call you a wuss.
You just have very good control of yourself.
ahh.. oh well how about he feels no guilt...he feels his selfish act was justified(they were fighting,troubles etc) should he tell her just so he can feel the wrath? lol
There's truth to this.
However, sometimes, a person might feel that it's only fair to let the other person know what has been going on.
Maybe I'm being naive.
My wife would know in a heart beat if I tried to lie. She knows me far too well.
Self control =
Like I said..I married, not buried. I don't necessarily think about cheating on her but I do have mental lust and dreams. During the first few weeks I was dating my future wife I did call her by the wrong name after a few beers at Fiesta.
You're right about that. I should have said "Some of them confess for their own benefit".
This is on Oprah all the time.A cheater only confesses to make himself feel better, not for the sake of the spouse. Keep it to yourself and keep your pants zipped next time.
As a former cheater, 11 years without cheating now, been with my wife now for 9 years and have not given it a single thought, I say tell the girl. She deserves to know. One of my friends told on me and after I was done wanting to kill the guy (we still don't talk) I thought she deserved to know. She still hates me but she deserved to know. I relized it was selfish and made me feel and look like a complete . It was the first time I got busted and after you see what happens when you do get busted it does not feel very good.
well i'm not picking on you but lets say she cheated on you....and you had no idea and it was a one time thing... would u wanna know? or believe in a sense ignorance is bliss?Like I said..I married, not buried. I don't necessarily think about cheating on her but I do have mental lust and dreams. During the first few weeks I was dating my future wife I did call her by the wrong name after a few beers at Fiesta.
not wishing bad karma or nothing...and kudos on the faithful marriage
Well, since I've told my wife from the very beginning that I don't play the cheating game and I don't accept the "well, I was drunk and he took advantage of me" or "it only happened one time" or "it didn't mean anything" BS excuses I wouldn't want to hear it. Now some may say that if I really loved my wife that much that my lover for her should be strong enough to weather the cheating storm and to be honest that may be true. But for me, TRUST, is a non-negotiable trait. Once the trust has been broken it is done, finished and I could never really ever trust her again.well i'm not picking on you but lets say she cheated on you....and you had no idea and it was a one time thing... would u wanna know? or believe in a sense ignorance is bliss?
not wishing bad karma or nothing...and kudos on the faithful marriage
If her love for me wasn't strong enough to keep her from cheating then for me it is a lost cause.
I could never let myself waste someone else's time, which is what I've always seen as the biggest problem with cheating. I have very few moral objections to cheating for the sex reasons, but value honesty far too much to ever do it.
No, I'm a perfect person.
You need to tell him he's full of if this is really what he thinks.
She has the right to know so she can decide for herself what she wants and needs in a relationship and whether or not she thinks she deserves better than a man who cheats AND jusitifies it.
I've been married nearly 9 years. I've never had the desire to cheat because I never felt like something was missing from my relationship that needed "filling" outside the marriage. That was until my wife cheated on me repeatedly with the same guy off and on over a 2 year period.
Now we sleep in separate bedrooms, we barely talk, and there is no physical interaction to speak of. I neither love, nor want her anymore. She completely destroyed any shred of trust I may ever have for her. She is now looking for a new place to live and I, if presented with the opportunity, would feel no guilt in screwing around. My marriage is now, in my opinion, irrevocably broken. The only reason we are still married on paper is strictly financial/convenience. We are basically roommates stuck in a lease for the foreseeable future.
After I first found out about the affair I wanted to work through it and I believed she truly did as well. But when she continued to cheat, my trust for her became nonexistent. My love for her also became nonexistent. The thing that angered me the most was her need to try to "justify" the cheating. I work at night and she was lonely, blah blah blah. My parents worked opposite schedules for nearly 15 years so someone could always be home with the kids. They have been married for 40 years.
If you need to make excuses for or have to justify betraying your spouse/significant other, you have no business being in a relationship with the other person. If you truly love your mate, cheating should never become an issue.
And if you do cheat, your mate deserves to know the truth of your indiscretion. Be open and honest and take the gamble that they may not want to continue the relationship. That is the risk you take when you deceive or betray someone.
alimony biatches recognize
My first thought after reading this was Hmm...Frenzy doesn't know how to spell "Pickle"
Anyway, I have never cheated on my husband nor do I think I would ever put myself in to a situation that could lead that way. When we got married 11 1/2 years ago we agreed that we would both be aware of our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex and never spend time alone with someone else. When my husband goes to lunch w/the girls in his office, I am invited and attend as well. Same w/happy hour, etc..
Yesterday I got a call from a girlfriend of mine. She has been married to her 2nd hubby for about 9 years. He was National Guard and went to Iraq. 1 year after getting back, she found out he had been cheating on her for about 6 months. She gave him 5 chances (something I would never do) but kept finding emails and phone numbers after he would plead stupidity and promise it would never happen again. She is smart, educated (just finished her doctorate), pretty, makes a great living but she kept forgiving him because of the kids and the fact that they had been together for a long time. She finally had enough! Her divorce was final in October.
Even after listening to her horror story, I still believe the majority would not cheat. Why get married if you still want other women/men? My husband would rather lose a leg than have me lose my trust in him. Although in truth, he would probably lose another appendage if I caught him cheating.
If you have ever worked at a large company where there are many married men and women that interact together for 8 hours per day, there is usually a lot of cheating going on.
the only sad part about that situation is they think nobody knows
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
