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that's sadteachers should do something about this in the beginning, so nothing worse can happen afterwards.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bul...ide/index.html
My bullied son's last day on Earth
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Eleven-year-old Jaheem Herrera woke up on April 16 acting strangely. He wasn't hungry and he didn't want to go to school.
But the outgoing fifth grader packed his bag and went to school at Dunaire Elementary School in DeKalb County, Georgia.
He came home much happier than when he left in the morning, smiling as he handed his mother, Masika Bermudez, a glowing report card full of A's and B's. She gave him a high-five and he went upstairs to his room as she prepared dinner.
A little later, when his younger sister called him to come down to eat, Jaheem didn't answer.
So mother and daughter climbed the stairs to Jaheem's room and opened the door.
Jaheem was hanging by his belt in the closet.
"I always used to see these things on TV, dead people on the news," says Bermudez. "I saw somebody die and to see this dead person is your son, hanging there, a young boy. ... To hang yourself like that, you've got to really be tired of something."
Bermudez says bullies at school pushed Jaheem over the edge. He complained about being called gay, ugly and "the virgin" because he was from the Virgin Islands, she said.
"He used to say Mom they keep telling me this ... this gay word, this gay, gay, gay. I'm tired of hearing it, they're telling me the same thing over and over," she told CNN, as she wiped away tears from her face.
But while she says her son complained about the bullying, she had no idea how bad it had gotten.
"He told me, but he just got to the point where he didn't want me to get involved anymore because nothing was done," she said.
Bermudez said she complained to the school about bullying seven or eight times, but it wasn't enough to save him.
"It [apparently] just got worse and worse and worse until Thursday," she said. "Just to walk up to that room and see your baby hanging there. My daughter saw this, my baby saw this, my kids are traumatized."
She said Jaheem was a shy boy just trying to get a good education and make friends.
"He was a nice little boy," Bermudez said through her tears. "He loved to dance. He loved to have fun. He loved to make friends. And all he made [at school] were enemies."
Bermudez said she thinks her son felt like nobody wanted to help him, that nobody stood up and stopped the bullies.
"Maybe he said 'You know what -- I'm tired of telling my mom, she's been trying so hard, but nobody wants to help me,' " says Bermudez.
After Jaheem's death, the school board expressed condolences, saying the school staff "works diligently to provide a safe and nurturing environment for all students."
Trying desperately to understand what went wrong, Bermudez asked her son's best friend to recount what happened on the day Jaheem killed himself.
"He [said he was] tired of complaining, tired of these guys messing with him," Bermudez said, recalling the conversation with Jaheem's best friend. "Tired of talking, I think to his teachers, counselors and nobody is doing anything -- and the best way out is death."
Allegations of such severe bullying surprises experts familiar with the school district. It's anti-bullying program was considered exemplary and includes programs to raise awareness and a specially trained liaison. Students are even asked to sign a no-bullying pledge. But other parents told CNN they have complained about bullying as well.
Despite recent strides towards preventing bullying in schools and increased awareness programs, a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network study showed that 65 percent of teens are bullied each year and most believe adults can't help them.
Less than a month before Jaheem's death, a boy in Massachusetts killed himself after being bullied, harassed and called "gay."
Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, says to be effective, awareness programs need to include education about the harm that can be done by teasing someone about sexuality or perceived sexuality.
"Anti-gay language is really the ultimate weapon for a bully who wants to degrade his or her peers," she says. "And any effective response to bullying has to take that on."
Bermudez doesn't understand why the children at school couldn't learn to get along. Because of it, she'll never get to see her son grow up.
"My baby, that's my only boy, and I lost him now," says Bermudez. "He was my first child and ... to lose him 11 years after, he didn't live his life."
She hopes her son's death will result in positive changes that will help other kids being bullied.
"Those that are being bullied -- they need to talk to their parents, they need to not hold back," she says. "I lost my son and now something has to be done."
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I realize that some people might want to point the finger at the parenting here, but there is only so much a parent can do. I was bullied when I was in school and EVERYONE turned a blind eye to it. The teachers would simply look past it and pretend like it never happened. Schools need to step up and take notice of this, because they are doing a HORRIBLE job of it thus far. That grade school is very lucky he only hung himself and didn't bring a pistol to class to take care of those bullies.
I think the schools need to take immediate action in any bullying cir stance. Any time you see a kid being ganged up on and insulted, there is something beyond "normal teasing" there.
The children should be prosecuted, and any teachers who ignore these warning signs should be immediately placed under a board of review. I'm sick of hearing stories like this.
that's sad
They state this as if it means anything. As if they're shocked bullying still goes on after they signed a no bullying pledge.Students are even asked to sign a no-bullying pledge.
Some people are just naive idiots.
What a horrible story. I can't even fathom an 11 year old even considering suicide. He's a child. That sort of thing shouldn't be going through a kid's head.
This is effing sad... Apparently some people today aren't parents at all, otherwise these little heathens would know how to act.
shes going to get paid like most bullying victims.....she should sue them broke
kids got bullied before(60's 70's 80's...etc)... why does this happen now?
poor kid though...man that's sad.
I'm sure it happened then too, but there was no world-wide-web to bring you stories from every town in America every time something like this happened.
he was happy when he got home
but then he killed himself.
does he have a computer? maybe he was happy when he came home, then he went online to myspace or facebook or whatever the his classmates use, and they made fun of him again and humiliated him in a chat room or something. "go kill urself " type of crap
Sudden change of or strange at ude, behavior is usually a warning for suicidal tendencies.
it can be natural to be happy prior to one's suicide.
the way out has been found and it can be a relief.
very sad for anyone, much less an 11 year old child.
God, what a depressing story. Especially feel bad for the kid's parents. It's too bad he didn't have any brothers to cheer him up after those long, depressing days at school(I would've gone crazy if it wasn't for the SNES).
Hopefully something's done about the irresponsible parents of these dip s that drove the kid over the edge.
Horrible. I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old. I can't even imagine seeing something like this. Just reading this and for a second imagining it being one of my girls invokes anxiety attacks.
Such a tragedy. Too bad there weren't enough kids that befriended him. "Harmless" teasing can have traumatic results and it just plain sucks. I've been there and it isn't any fun at all.
It's not just bullying like it was in the past, though. With the internet, a lot of that abuse continues even after the kids have left school. It can be a never-ending barrage of insults and misconceptions, and with networking sites it reaches even farther. Kids that aren't even in your school can know about it.
I also think that part of it is the trend in hands-off parenting that I saw so much when I was working with kids in SA - without any enforced limits from their parents to push, kids can start to push the limits of each other instead.
+1 My kids know that we do not tolerate teasing of any kind. We were notified when our oldest participated in a group session of teasing and we nipped that in the bud. We had a long conversation with both of them on how hurtful and damaging "innocent" teasing can be.
Wow, what a terrible story. How does an 11 year old even KNOW how one can commit suicide like that by using a belt and hanging from a closet?
That.I also think that part of it is the trend in hands-off parenting that I saw so much when I was working with kids in SA
Nothing else.
Bullying is still the same, granted the internet may increase it, but since when is calling someone "gay" a reason to commit suicide? seriously. Its this bull of kids (or immature adults) raising kids. Every time I see or hear about a 16-21 (or 22, 23, 24) year old having a kid without a stable life (house, job, car...) I feel like punching the out of them.
Not only are they screwing up their "fum part of life" but also the life of the kid that was born because they cant properly take care of them. Then those that chose not to go that route get to take about it from these assholes when the irresponsible people see that the responsible people have all the fun toys (cars, home, ect.) all because said person(s) decided not to someone without protection at an early age.
This is tragic and ed up and Im not saying this lady is one of these people but the sad truth is that its a huge trend these days and its about time we stop being so ing PC about it and tell these ing idiots how it is.
They should do a survey on how many kids back in the 80's pledged to be drug free during the D.A.R.E. bull when I was back in school.
And I still say you should need a license to be a parent.
You need one to drive.
You need on to fish.
But not to raise a child?
That is terrible. I couldn't imagine the pain she must feel. I dont know what i would do if it was my son. I worry about stuff like this as he grows up. Don't really know how to avoid it though.
I fight with this too. I guess I feel like its important to start prepping them while they're young.
This is what I told my girls.
"Go out of your way to make friends with the kids that get picked on. They'll be the most trustworthy friends you could ever have. Its also highly likely that they'll be successful as a result of being childhood wierdos. You'll need these friendships when you're an adult. They'll be lawyers, business owners, cops or celebs. They'll never forget how you stuck by them".
"If you're the one being picked on give it one chance to be addressed by a teacher or higher up faculty member. If nothing is done stalk the person picking on you inbetween classes. The in a busy hallway jump the out them and don't stop swinging until someone breaks it up. In a busy hallway it'll be broken up quick so you'll get your shots in. You'll have done the right thing by letting a teacher know upfront whats going on and I'll support you for not letting it drag on."
You gotta fight back. It'll never end unless they do.
I'm glad my son is big for his age. But hopefully he won't be the bully.
That was my thought as well.
This is very very sad, but also VERY strange... Even with the most intense bullying imaginable, you would expect an 11-year-old to, at worst, refuse to go to school in the morning, beg his mother to go to a different school, throw fits while being dragged to school... maybe all of this happened, but it's hard to fathom a child deciding to take his own life in this way.
Funny, but you are right. It is sorta like a microcosm of prison life. Luckily my son is big. 16 months old, but looks like he is 3 already...
Who wasn't bullied as a kid at one point or another. Asshole adults still try to intimidate other adults later on in life. Once you go directly at them 99% cave in if they don't have too much leverage over you.
I'm putting my future kid through the Agoge.
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