She's turning 15 this month and yesterday we went to Fiesta Texas and he came along. Their "friendship" which I had heard about for weeks turned into something more about a month ago as she finally told us, which we already knew, that they were more than friends and that she really like him. Of course she had a mother-daughter talk and I had to hear it from my wife which is cool but something I just simply was not/am not ready for.
I officially met the young man about 2 months ago and I gave him my "don't mess with my daughter" look and firm hand-shake and sized him up while I asked him a few questions to try to trip him up.
First thing I liked was that he was not wearing saggy pants and addressed the wife and I as Sir and Maam and while trivial means a lot to me. Over all the meeting went well.
So we met his parents a few weeks ago and yesterday we picked him and off we went to Fiesta Texas.
It was all good until, and I knew it was going to happen, I saw them holding hands and walking arm-in-arm together that it hit me like a ton of bricks. My oldest has turned a major page in her life and my little girl now has her attention locked on another male and it hurt.
I gave them their space but did not allow them to wander off by themselves and I did have to tell the wife to tell her to cool a bit when I felt there was a little too much touchy feeling going on for my liking and if she didn't I would and I won't be PC about it.
The worse part is that I know the first one's don't stick and that she is going to get hurt and our first loves are hard and that is why they call it heartbreak.
After we got home last night we had a father-daughter talk and I was blunt and to the point and we laughed and cried together and in the end she knew that I was behind her 100% and will be there when she needs me and that I also will not stop being a father to appease him or her friends. She knows that. We also had the Rhianna/Chris Brown talk and that NO MAN has the right to abuse her physically, mentally or verbally.
Parenting is indeed the toughest job in the world but it is a job that I relish and would not trade it for anything else in the world.
If you want, Joe, I can bring some guns over and we can do the Bad Boys freakout on the little weasel.
I'm not letting Little ASF out of the house until she's 35. She might meet someone like I was back then.
My daughter turned 13 last week; this is some scary !
Getting the parents to like you by calling them sir and ma'am is the easiest way into a girls pants.
Next time he comes over to your house, sit at the table and clean your gun. Don't get your guard down because he's polite.
When you see this
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probably too late for that.
One of the things I'll tell my daughter's first BF is that he better respect her enough to keep his grubby, horny little hands off of her...especially in public.
I remember the first one. Actually he's pretty hard to forget. I keep seeing his ing picture on the milk cartons at HEB.
Sometimes they do.
Joe, it sounds like you handled it extremely well, like a caring father who's allowing his daughter to live her life, but is watching out for her best interests at the same time.
Far be it of me to tell you how to do your job, but keep in mind that her friends are likely of the same age and relative maturity level that she is. You are nearly her sole source of what cons utes a man, and unless she gets lucky, she's probably going to be dating boys pretending to be men for years. Now more than ever, she will probably be watching you and your wife for a model of interaction. She's going to learn a lot about how a guy treats his significant other by how you two interact.
No pressure.
Joe, it sounds like you handled it extremely well, like a caring father who's allowing his daughter to live her life, but is watching out for her best interests at the same time.
Far be it of me to tell you how to do your job, but keep in mind that her friends are likely of the same age and relative maturity level that she is. You are nearly her sole source of what cons utes a man, and unless she gets lucky, she's probably going to be dating boys pretending to be men for years. Now more than ever, she will probably be watching you and your wife for a model of interaction. She's going to learn a lot about how a guy treats his significant other by how you two interact.
No pressure.
Well, awhile back I busted my daughter. She was supposed to be at a friends house in the neighborhood and I had to run an errand and for some reason I took a different street since my sister in law moved in just a few blocks away and I wanted to swing by just to see how the house looked and my youngest said "why are we going this way?" and it was just one of those impulsive things well low and behold and I turn to head towards our house I see my oldest leaning against a privacy fence talking to this guy and and when she saw me and our eyes connected the look on her face said it all. She was stone cold busted.
I told her to get home and she made the mistake of asking "why?" so I said it again..."get home now!" which she again proceeded to try to explain and which made it strike three so I got out and told her to get in the car now, which she did, and we went home.
Needless to say the conversation that ensued was not a pleasant one, for her that is, as I questioned why said she was going to a friends house when she had planned all along to meet this boy, which of course she denied and said she just happened to be coming home when she ran into him.
Yeah, I was born yesterday I told her I knew she planned on meeting him and if there is one thing they know I will not tolerate is lying. So she finally confessed and I had to explain to her that I've been there, done that and things I don't want to talk about. I did over react though because the first thing I did was to tell her to give that boy on the phone, which freaked her out, and I told him to stay the away from my daughter which he said "yes sir" and I again went over how I have no problem embarrassing her in front of anyone if she does wrong.
Later after we had a long talk and the wife and I had a long talk I told my daughter to ask him to come over and I told him that when it comes to my daughters I will not hold back and will do what ever it takes to keep them safe.
But knowing how I thought I was King when I was young and how boys want to "score" and reading all the posts in here from guys who say they lost their virginity at 13,14, or 15 scares the out of me.
I've watched these shows where girls her age talk about hooking up and how oral sex is no big deal and guys ranking girls by what they'll do and.....
And to think that I'll have to go through this again with my 9 yr old?
True, but I didn't find my true love until I was 34 yrs and I've had my heart broken several times.
I don't know anyone who is with their FIRST love but then again one could say that I was in love before but it wasn't my TRUE love like me.
Thanks for the insight.Joe, it sounds like you handled it extremely well, like a caring father who's allowing his daughter to live her life, but is watching out for her best interests at the same time.
Far be it of me to tell you how to do your job, but keep in mind that her friends are likely of the same age and relative maturity level that she is. You are nearly her sole source of what cons utes a man, and unless she gets lucky, she's probably going to be dating boys pretending to be men for years. Now more than ever, she will probably be watching you and your wife for a model of interaction. She's going to learn a lot about how a guy treats his significant other by how you two interact.
No pressure.
I married my first. I met her when she was 15. Her dad hated me and kept telling her the proverbial "he's just a bump in the road, move along, stop being so stuck up on one dude". I spent my teens balls deep in her vagina right under dads nose. As it turns out I married her when I was 20. Worst relationship ever. I should have taken dads advice. That destroyed my 20's and nearly ruined my attraction to women. There are still scars.
The key will be to keep her from putting too much value on the opposite sex. If it ends up being everything to her it'll get ugly. You'll lose.
You've got a PM.But knowing how I thought I was King when I was young and how boys want to "score" and reading all the posts in here from guys who say they lost their virginity at 13,14, or 15 scares the out of me.
I've watched these shows where girls her age talk about hooking up and how oral sex is no big deal and guys ranking girls by what they'll do and.....
And to think that I'll have to go through this again with my 9 yr old?
When you see this
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Damn right.
You just talked me out of having kids.Well, awhile back I busted my daughter. She was supposed to be at a friends house in the neighborhood and I had to run an errand and for some reason I took a different street since my sister in law moved in just a few blocks away and I wanted to swing by just to see how the house looked and my youngest said "why are we going this way?" and it was just one of those impulsive things well low and behold and I turn to head towards our house I see my oldest leaning against a privacy fence talking to this guy and and when she saw me and our eyes connected the look on her face said it all. She was stone cold busted.
I told her to get home and she made the mistake of asking "why?" so I said it again..."get home now!" which she again proceeded to try to explain and which made it strike three so I got out and told her to get in the car now, which she did, and we went home.
Needless to say the conversation that ensued was not a pleasant one, for her that is, as I questioned why said she was going to a friends house when she had planned all along to meet this boy, which of course she denied and said she just happened to be coming home when she ran into him.
Yeah, I was born yesterday I told her I knew she planned on meeting him and if there is one thing they know I will not tolerate is lying. So she finally confessed and I had to explain to her that I've been there, done that and things I don't want to talk about. I did over react though because the first thing I did was to tell her to give that boy on the phone, which freaked her out, and I told him to stay the away from my daughter which he said "yes sir" and I again went over how I have no problem embarrassing her in front of anyone if she does wrong.
Later after we had a long talk and the wife and I had a long talk I told my daughter to ask him to come over and I told him that when it comes to my daughters I will not hold back and will do what ever it takes to keep them safe.
But knowing how I thought I was King when I was young and how boys want to "score" and reading all the posts in here from guys who say they lost their virginity at 13,14, or 15 scares the out of me.
I've watched these shows where girls her age talk about hooking up and how oral sex is no big deal and guys ranking girls by what they'll do and.....
And to think that I'll have to go through this again with my 9 yr old?
Yeah, I'm no "Brad Pitt",For the record, I'm think I'm a not-entirely-ugly looking fellow, and yet I was almost 26 by personal choice. We're not all jerks looking to get laid at every opportunity.MiamiHeat, but when I was young I had no intention of settling down so I wasn't looking for a "relationship" so when I met my future wife I knew I was ready and that she was the one.
Still going strong.
Kids are great!! There is nothing in the world that compares to the birth of your child. Not even close.
I'm pretty sure the day they move out would run a close second.
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