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No. Familiarity breeds contempt. My husband is the same way, but his insecurities are the result of something that happened to him long before we met. Did something happen to her in the past that may make her less likely to trust people?
A lot of good information/feedback out there, thanks. We've been married over ten years and it seems this 'condition' has gotten worse over the years even though I have significantly reduced the amount of time I spend with friends outside the home.
I don't go to bars of any kind away from home, I don't have any female friends, and I don't think I've ever give her reason to think I'm cheating on her or hiding some huge secret.
And honestly, I don't really remember all the specific details of my day to day activities. Sometimes I'll have a phone conversation with my mom and she wants to know everything we talked about. I'll sum it up in a few minutes, but then I can see her getting upset because maybe I'm not telling her everything. Damn! It's just frustrating as , I can't remember every detail I discuss with my mother.
The other part to this is my wife doesn't just talk the talk when it comes to honesty, she walks it. I mean, this woman is the most honest, straight forward woman or person I have ever met. She is so damn consistent it's hard to believe. If she says she'll be somewhere, she'll be there come or high water. I think part of the problem is that she expects the rest of the world to behave in the same manner, and probably expects it ever more out of those close to her. So she ends up getting even more upset when her sister doesn't follow through on something, or I don't give her all this specific information, etc. Does that make sense?
No. Familiarity breeds contempt. My husband is the same way, but his insecurities are the result of something that happened to him long before we met. Did something happen to her in the past that may make her less likely to trust people?
^Well, I think growing up her family let her down on a fairly regular basis. She's been the one person in her entire family to really do for herself, get a college education, working on a master's degree now, and they'll still nit pick at her about her weight, or things that need work around the house. And she'll really let this get to her.
So, I can see where she'll get over-sensitive about certain topics or activities I'm involved in. But, the only thing I do away from the home is either play golf, or go to a guy's poker game about once every 4-5 months.
Yea 10 yrs is a long time to not have gotten past the early establishment of security/trust in the marriage. Your description of her personality sounds a little OCD to me, especially since the behaviors seem to be escalating. Does she get regular health check ups? I think you need to have a heart to heart with her (set some rules and limits for the behavior during this meeting) and ask her seriously what is bothering her and why you don't understand it, then tell her how you feel and offer to explain to her anything she doesn't understand. Unfortunately, as far as communication goes, men and women have a different idea of what is adequate. If your conversation doesn't ease the tension, or if either of you feels a communication "block", it's probably time for some professional counseling.
Did you keep the box your wife came in?
Any receipts?
life's to short......go find another one, their are plenty in the sea.
Meh, in the example you gave, it sounds like you should have just been honest. You shouldn't have had to ask her permission to go or invite her but you probably should have just said you're hitting the bar with the friend she doesn't like. Even if she got mad, that madness level wouldn't compare to the madness level you are now experiencing.
You knew she would be sensitive to that issue so that should have been something to just tell her. I guess if she is sensitive by a wide array of issues then I could see how this one fell through the cracks. But if this is one of her main issues, I'd have to blame you.
She's a woman. There's a hint. They are all re ed in their own little way.
You're welcome
This is how I feel..............I think you should post it on your fridge at home.
The Man Rules:
The Man Rules: At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the Rules" From
the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already
know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are
lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know
men really don't mind that? It's like camping..
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
She seems like one.That would probably have rubbed me the wrong way, too ... no one likes to be perceived as someone even their spouse doesn't want to be around. "Nag" is a pretty strong word .... at least to me it is.
Oh my god. If his wife does this all the time, your logic would make it not worth it for him to do anything.
I agree with that.1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
But the complaint was a specific one- so easy to address.
You figured she was going to get mad about the meeting, so you didn't tell her about it, and when she found out, she felt deceived. Not too tough to figure out.
I have men in my life with whom I can talk seriously about marital issues. But I avoid talking bad about my wife to other people behind her back like what you just described.
It's hard to offer my married-woman opinion in this thread because we're hearing one side of the story. I don't act possessive or obsessive with my husband but he's never given me reason to not trust him. If you can survive the first 2 years of marriage, you can be comfortable with not knowing every detail of what your spouse is doing. RG has a Thursday night beer-with-the-boys ritual, during which they "talk about the wives", and that's really okay with me, because, even though I am pretty awesome, I know I'm not perfect. (Actually, I suppose the reason I don't mind Thursday nights is because he says his buddies do the ing about their wives and he sits there and feels lucky--I don't know if he's telling the truth, but it's such a sweet thing to say!)
OK, here goes from a happy wife of 30 years. Marriage is a partnership in life. You will not always like the same friends or interests. Your goal should always be happy, if your partner's happy. Even if their happiness doesn't include you at the time.
If she's accusing you, or is su ious of you and your whereabouts, usually that means she's probably guilty of some thing herself.
Around the 10th year of the relationship , or when you hit your mid 30's, things can get a little hinky. A woman or man may start to realize they're in their prime and life is passing them by with a real good chance that things aren't going to get any better or any more exciting.
All I can say is the longer you're together, the better it gets. If you wake up and realize life would be a big fat drag if you suddenly lost your partner, then you're on the road to a good solid relationship. Keep things exciting, be supportive, and encourage one another to seek their joy!!!
Good luck!!
Thats what I've been saying.
Wow.
you gave her the password to your e-mail account? Like the e-mail account you actually use?
You are out of your ing mind and deserve every bit of the she is giving you. You created this monster when you surrendered your man card. Don't about it now.
My wife knows my email password and I could care less.
+1 My husband uses my email address.
Great post.OK, here goes from a happy wife of 30 years. Marriage is a partnership in life. You will not always like the same friends or interests. Your goal should always be happy, if your partner's happy. Even if their happiness doesn't include you at the time.
If she's accusing you, or is su ious of you and your whereabouts, usually that means she's probably guilty of some thing herself.
Around the 10th year of the relationship , or when you hit your mid 30's, things can get a little hinky. A woman or man may start to realize they're in their prime and life is passing them by with a real good chance that things aren't going to get any better or any more exciting.
All I can say is the longer you're together, the better it gets. If you wake up and realize life would be a big fat drag if you suddenly lost your partner, then you're on the road to a good solid relationship. Keep things exciting, be supportive, and encourage one another to seek their joy!!!
Good luck!!My wife is 13 yrs younger than I am and a few years back when she hit her late twenties she went on a little "out with girls" era which did cause some problems since I was over my going out days and she wasn't. Yeah, I did have some concerns that she was going out and dancing and I was at home with the kids and I did get jealous but got over it. She would even tell me to call 1-800-CHEATERS any time I felt the need.
We still go out on dates on a regular basis. We were almost going to go on vacation this year with out the girls but they wouldn't hear of it.
I gave my wife my email password. I just created a new email account.
Gee I wonder why women get su ious??
Because they're paranoid s.Gee I wonder why women get su ious??
if she comes home with food from arby's and pf changs.........you're screwed.
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