SpursTalk Rap Battle

[Rappin' Ron Artest]

It's time a real rapper put all you other pussies to rest
After this even Pistons fans will admit that I'm the best
First off Chris Fall since he's the biggest joke
When I was in his wife she said all his could provide is a little poke
She kept telling me my skillz are gangsta
And that my hits swiftly like Katrina

And Rapping Robinson saying not believing in Jesus is wrong?
Was it him that told you to get owned by Hakeem Olajuwon?
Your resume without Duncan is as pathetic as MJ's baseball career
When he played we had to watch pitchers that got in the rear

Hey Kobe I heard after the finals last year you had to start taking pills
Paul Pierce owns you like I own the Palace at Auburn Hills
That off season you had some lonely sad nights at the bar
More pathetic than when special effects made it look like you jumped over a car
While you were out I was boning Vennessa and she smelled like Liz Claiborne
Constantly whining about having a husband who watches gay porn

Lemme end this addressing some got Pistons fans
The next time H-town visits Mo-town fear for your life if you in the stands
Just like Kobe you gots got owned by Boston
It must suck your city carries more disease than Magic's Johnson
While you gots are trying to build a trailer with paste
Forget my ass, tell me how unemployment taste!!!

[Epic Fail]

Welcome Ron

[BUMP]

It's a fine line. Last summer during the original epic Shaq/Kobe rap thread things started off strong and got derailed quick by the arrival of some horrible rapping trolls. There was a rapping V-Span, Scola, Nash, Raja Bell, Reuben Patterson, and TPark, none of which were much good. I think even Lebomb got in on the act towards the end and put the final nails in the rap coffin for a while.

Rapping MJ and Larry are pretty good additions to the rap troll line up but, as I said in that first rap thread, we're getting dangerously close to that time period a few weeks after 8 Mile came out where everyone suddenly thought they could freestyle.

i need to bump that thread soon. ive been here for three years and that was easily the funniest one ive ever read. there was so much fail it was hilarious.

Some of the trolls included Rappin Shaq, Vinny, Kobe, Ruben, Biedrins, Scola, V-Span, ref, P-Jiddy, Robinson, Timmy, Stojakovic, Owens, Horry, Hype Man Manu im sure im missing a lot too

[DPG21920]

I did rappin' vinny in that old thread without making a troll. Just under my user name for the sake of being dumb. Bad idea. I was not even trying to troll.

Also, Ron that was terrible.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

How is that sucker not in the Classics Forum? It rivals the Nash Photoshop thread for sheer hilarity.

[DPG21920]

i need to bump that thread soon. ive been here for three years and that was easily the funniest one ive ever read. there was so much fail it was hilarious.

Some of the trolls included Rappin Shaq, Vinny, Kobe, Ruben, Biedrins, Scola, V-Span, ref, P-Jiddy, Robinson, Timmy, Stojakovic, Owens, Horry, Hype Man Manu im sure im missing a lot too

How many of them were yours?

[IronMexican]

Welcome Ron

Another BUMP classic.

[BUMP]

How many of them were yours?

Let's just say a lot

Most of the ones that failed were mine anyway, the only decent one i had was Biedrins

[Brazil]

Welcome Ron

[DPG21920]

Biedrins was pretty good.

[LnGrrrR]

Welcome Ron

[ambchang]

I am surprised there haven't been any Rappin' Katelyn Faber trolls yet.

[Blue Jew]

There is a 24 hour wait before new trolls can be approved it s up the rhythm.


http://www.chrisandjasonshow.com/

[ShoogarBear]

Let's just say a lot

Most of the ones that failed were mine anyway, the only decent one i had was Biedrins

Wait, I thought you were Rappin Shaq. Didn't that come out in a thread?

[step up to the mike]

The score is Shoogar Bear 1, Spurminator zero
Anyone rocking proper english is an American hero
That's only positive at all I see in this thread full of trolls
It is time for Rapping Mr. Robinson to save a few souls

Jesus would weep at what is described this thread:
acts that are only for a man and woman in a marital bed
described in detail as happening between two married men.
As if they don't already commit enough heterosexual sin!
We all knew that Shaq and Kobe cheat on their wives,
now we all know they lead Rock Hudson style lives.
The signs were all there, we just saw them too late
The first should have been Shaq put on some weight.
He got in a relationship and then he got fat,
everyone's had a girlfriend or two that did that.
Kobe ran him out of town for putting on that gut,
and now it's obvious why he aimed for that girl's butt.
If I were president such behavior would get you arrested,
but I can say for now is that you should both get yourselves tested.
Get on with your lives guys, this stuff has gotten old
settle your break up like real men, not sissy cuckolds!


But I forgive you, Shaq and Kobe, I don't hold grudges
Now it's time to have a word or two with the judges
You guys cheer this behavior on as i watch in horror
as this thread becomes a cyber Sodom and Gommorrah.
Kori and LJ, you know that I love you two,
but this kind of permissiveness will not do.
Lock these threads and ban all rapping! It's that simple!
Otherwise I Am will take down Spurtalk like he did The Temple

This rap's getting long, and I hate to ramble
but MJ you really should not continue to gamble
it's immoral, it's risky; "cool" it is not
With your divorce and Bobcats you should protect what cash you've got
So just think twice before you bet on Cubs vs. Dodgers
and listen to the wisdom of my boy Kenny Rogers

"You got to know when to hold them,
know when to fold them,
know when to walk away, know when to run
you never count your money
when you're sitting at the table
they'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done"

Yeah! How you like that? I'm old school like Jay Z!
Sampling hardcore tracks like he did with Annie!
You can't top that! You chumps better hide!
I apologize baby Jesus, I just committed the sin of pride.

Well I need to get out of here and go repent,
but just remember all my advice was Heaven sent
Every Sunday is a chance for change, don't let your lives go to waste
Get to church, get communion, and TELL ME HOW MY LORD TASTE!

way to step up to da mike!

[Rapin Vanessa Bryant]

Watching my hubby Kobe trying not to go home for the summer
Is almost as exciting as watching Xhibit pimping a hummer
Let's stop trippin' and pretendin'
I've got a secret and I ain't lyin'
The real reason Kobe bought me those rings
Was to keep me quiet and not spill the beans
This secret I've told all my lady friends down by the bay
That Kobe is a got, in correct vernacular, Kobe is gay
We all know the chick you raped was a tranny
But don't worry honey, you're not as gay as Laker Lanny!

[pauls931]

Dok is not ok
Steve nash is here to stay.
Jump shot, dishin has you wishin
This team was not fishin.

That's all I can come up with...