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If I still wanted my wife, I wouldn't have kicked her out. I moved out 2 previous times in our marriage and moved back because I still wanted her.
basically, you don't want another chick bc you still want your wife. that's why you miss her texts and proceeded to call. just go out and random chicks left and right... you wont forget about her, but it sure will help your self-esteem and pass the time. moping by yourself won't do anything for you except leave you to think about her. only time will take the sting away.
If I still wanted my wife, I wouldn't have kicked her out. I moved out 2 previous times in our marriage and moved back because I still wanted her.
Taco Bueno potato burrito destroys Bells.
You kicked her out because of anger, but you responded to her pages out of jealousy. Part of you still wants her.
The easiest way to get over some one .................... is to find some one else.
Wrong again. I told her in September I wanted a divorce and wanted her to move out. She didn't move out until the following April. From September until April, I slept on the couch in my TV room while she continued to sleep in the bedroom. It wasn't a case of me getting angry and throwing her out on the street. I let her stay until she had her own place to move to. When she moved out, I didn't deny her anything she wanted to take. She tried to leave a few things she wanted because she didn't want me to not have anything. I told her if she wanted it, it was hers.
Understand something. I've been dealing with these issues for a couple of years. Much longer than any man or woman should. The whole reason why I wanted a divorce was based on a choice she made. I caught her making plans with the guy and told her straight out: She could cancel the plans, cut off all contact with him, and I would be willing to work with her to get our marriage back on track. Or she could go see him, and it would be over. I put the fate of our marriage in her hands. She chose the latter. I told her I wanted a divorce and it would be best for her to move out. I gave her as much time as she needed to find a place, pack her stuff, and move out. I was satisfied with the way I dealt with it and I'm still satisfied today.
And actually, I talked to her today. I didn't even try to get in touch with her. She came to me. She told me where she had been and who she had been with. We sat down and talked for about an hour. In that time, I told her she is free to do what she wants as long as she understands that I will do what I want. I also told her that I will file for divorce in a couple months after I clear a few unavoidable expenses and take care of a few things. She agreed that a quick, clean divorce will be fine. She won't fight it and she won't try to get anything from me. Whether or not that is true, I don't know. But I will be prepared for it if or when it happens.
Even when she came clean about the past couple of days, and she gave details, I felt no anger or jealousy. I was happy she was open and honest with me. Something she hadn't been while we were still together. Doesn't change my mind about anything, though. It was just refreshing to get that for once.
I still care about her, yes. but I no longer want to be with her or married to her.
Last edited by Strike; 08-02-2009 at 09:08 PM.
Good luck bro.
Thanks. Seems to be getting better every day.
Good luck strike. You're still young and I'm sure marriage taught you a few things, and you are much more wise and mature for going through all the things you have gone through. You are probably a better person for it but just may not know it yet. The best is yet to come, so be patient.
I would file for a divorce as soon as possible, so you can close this chapter of your life. It seems like a cut and dry divorce, especially if you have no children. PM me if you would like a name or two of family law lawyers who might be able to help you.
eric bennett - luv dont luv me
listen to it man...
As far as I see ...
You've been free to see anyone you want.
I am so glad I don't have to worry about stuff like this.
I have a few financial commitments that can't be put off so once those are taken care of, It's on.Good luck strike. You're still young and I'm sure marriage taught you a few things, and you are much more wise and mature for going through all the things you have gone through. You are probably a better person for it but just may not know it yet. The best is yet to come, so be patient.
I would file for a divorce as soon as possible, so you can close this chapter of your life. It seems like a cut and dry divorce, especially if you have no children. PM me if you would like a name or two of family law lawyers who might be able to help you.
Yup. For right now, I have my own personal to deal with and fix so I'm not gonna get involved with anyone.As far as I see ...
You've been free to see anyone you want.
did you get a gag order on her?
when i mean gag
you "GAG" that nao
Well Strike, I think you've handled it all as well as can be expected. You stayed thru some pretty tough times, worked with her and the marriage, made a sincere effort to salvage it all. It's easy for people to say "you must still want her, you should have left the a long time ago, etc", but you know that a marriage is about so much more than the sex and/or sexual trust. There are too many connections at too many different levels to let one mishandling decide the fate of a marriage. You did the right thing by putting the ultimate decisions in her hands, you gave it your all, now you can break free knowing you did everything in your power to save what was left and she wouldn't help you. You are free to walk away with your clear conscience and be happy. You deserve it
See this? Everyone? See this quote? This is someone who actually gets it.Well Strike, I think you've handled it all as well as can be expected. You stayed thru some pretty tough times, worked with her and the marriage, made a sincere effort to salvage it all. It's easy for people to say "you must still want her, you should have left the a long time ago, etc", but you know that a marriage is about so much more than the sex and/or sexual trust. There are too many connections at too many different levels to let one mishandling decide the fate of a marriage. You did the right thing by putting the ultimate decisions in her hands, you gave it your all, now you can break free knowing you did everything in your power to save what was left and she wouldn't help you. You are free to walk away with your clear conscience and be happy. You deserve it
I can relate, it took me a good yr after my divorce to get my together enough to get back out there ...
Let me know if I can help ya!
4 pages
post pic of ex-wife yo
so we can avoid it
You said this was going on since Sept. and she moved out in April? Why didn't you move out? And what's this about putting "the fate of [your] marriage" on her!? She cheated on you...that's relationship suicide. You trusting her to do the right thing is your fault, brutha. How convenient for her that you took her feelings into consideration too bad for you she didn't reciprocate.
Advice is easy to give but so hard to follow, but in all honesty, you need to grow a pair. If no kids are involved, you should have no contact with this ho unless its for any legal matter. Don't make yourself be her emotional crutch when she's feeling sad or lonely or bored. You're her plan B...her fall back option if things don't work out with the new guy. So stop all contact.
Right now time is both your friend and enemy, but even in times of defeat you keep your head up. Soon things will get better. And the best thing you can do to pay her back is to move on and have a better life than you had with her.
To sum things up: just be a in man.
Best of luck brutha.
words of wisdom from a woman who knows how to type
Amen.
Thanks for reminding of the person who told me the exact same thing.
I think he simply wanted confirmation of his su ion.
One of the hardest things of which to let go is wanting to know the truth. I believe that it is the least we all deserve, but sometimes you have to accept that you just will never know and let it go. It's not easy, especially if you are someone who lives with integrity and veracity.
I did my divorce myself and it cost me $100. The ex paid $100 also - the fees were just court costs. I did the papers online and filed and then just had to wait the required 60 days. Since you have no children and no property to split - I'd try to do it yourself and not pay a lawyer.
And you're wise to wait to get into another relationship. They say it takes an average of 2 years to heal emotionally - and it's not fair to another woman to be the rebound hook-up. Take the time for reflection and introspection - because even though she's the one who cheated, there were probably underlying causes that led to it. Make sure you come to terms with whatever you did to contribute to the failure of your marriage and you'll have a much better chance of having a successful relationship the next time around. Good luck!
Yes and no.
Yes do it yourself. I saved so much by doing it all online. The signed then after it was notarized she noticed that she didn't make out as good as she thought.
NO you didn't necessarily contribute to the "failure of your marriage". That is some bs from a guy who doesn't know either of you. Sometimes one person isn't as ready as they thought they were. So f that . I know that from experience.
Once again, someone who gets it. Thanx man.
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