\\
That reminds of my pooping with shaq story... I'll have to search that one too!
nice
I used to take a dump every morning at 9am on the dot while working at the AT&T Center. I would go down to the charter member section because it was always empty and the bathrooms were more private... well, one morning I go to do my usual 9 o'clock routine ... I'm sitting in the stall and I had just released my first steamer when I hear someone walk into the bathroom. There were several empty stalls down the line, but the ass clown chooses the stall next to mine. He sits down and within seconds releases the loudest, earth rumbling flatulence I have ever heard, followed by a splash that had to get his nuts thoroughly wet. I tried my hardest to hold it, but I had to release a quick laugh. I then heard a voice that I thought sounded extremely familiar to me. Could it be??? Nooo..... I kind of benty down a little to get the best peak I could under the stall... and I see the biggest pair of shoes I have ever seen with yellow shorts resting, crumpled on top of them. Right when I finally tell myself... no... it can't be... I see a huge hand reach down under the stall and the same voice asks, "Hey man... can you throw me a little paper?" At this point I'm giddy... could it be I am taking a dump right next to Shaq!? I reach over pull one of the rolls off and hand it to him. He says "Thanks a million, man!" I ask ,"Shaq?". He answers, "Yes..". He goes on to explain that Rick Fox "blew up" the locker room bathroom and he just wanted to take a dump without vomiting, so being that the AT&T center (Then SBC Center) was virtually empty, he wandered over to the 'good' bathrooms. So there you have it... the story of how I took a dump with Shaq.
I remember that story. Funny .
The Shaq story has to be one of the funniest ones I remember at ST.
I need a nap dammit!!
go to bed
I can't believe I drank Lone Star this weekend. WTF
So you can call me lazy? No thanks.
I don't think Lone Star is so bad. But I drank Tecate in a can with lime and salt this weekend. Wonderful in this hot weather.
After the 7th cup, it tasted like Tecate.
I wish I could take a nap. Well, I probably could...no one would care. But, that would be the moment that all 189 of my active cases went up for sale.
i don't do thatSo you can call me lazy? No thanks.
That's more of an ATRAIN thing.
Yea and I don't take naps
Ash I know you want me and all but stop talking about me when im not here.
OK so I have figured it out.
I know why flo hates Jason Statham.
Its cause Statham has better abs than flo LMAO.
I bet Flo is rubbing one out to this picture right about now.
Man, that idiot that posted the t-shirt thread in the Spurs forum made me laugh with those silly shirts. They reminded me of the Big Dog t-shirts at the Big Dog store.
Stupid!!!
I simply have to share. My brother just moved far away. I'm being vague to avoid hate mail from residents of his new home.
(I deleted the first 2 paragraphs which basically said he was drunk when he wrote this.)
I'm still in Phase 1. Everyone here strikes me as shallow, ty, self-centered, snobby, trashy, ambitionless, en led, and short-sighted. Honestly, I miss Mexicans. I LOVE Mexicans. **** are different. Thank you is never met with you're welcome. Gas station attendants are uppity (Seriously? You sell wine and plantain chips. off.) From shopping carts to automobiles, if there's an empty spot in front of them, they pull forward seemingly oblivious to whether or not it's actually going to get them anywhere. And the honking, oh the humanity do they honk their horns. Strangley enough, there is no evidence of road rage. I'm sure this is partly due to just "normal operations", but you'd think a bunch of pushy brats getting in each other's way would eventually lead to outbursts. **** can hold down a car horn for (no ) 20 seconds without batting an eye. It's like they think it's a toy, or a musical instrument.
It is not an angry or violent culture, just a frustratingly inconsiderate one. One can act in kind without fear of even the mildest retribution. I sometimes stand intentionally in the way in grocery stores just to see how the entire traffic flow stops and waits patiently for me to start moving again. The snooty eyes I get from the old ladies are unrelated- they do that to everyone regardless. A young woman literally ran into me with her cart (I was carrying a basket, she hit the basket) as we both uneasily crept toward an empty spot on the main aisle. Her conscious avoidance of eye contact (even after the impact) told me that either she was feigning confusion in order to go first, or was somehow autistically unaware of my presence. I'm still not sure what the protocol is between natives in this scenario- the dearth of undented vehicles on the road suggest there isn't one.
But hey, I work for ex-Americans. Everything at work should be fine, right? (I'm deleting my brother's extremely rude comments on his inlaws)
(As an aside, MIL means mother-in-law, but I always smile when I think back to my WyoTech days. In modern car diagnostic lingo, MIL stands for Malfunction Indicator Light- which you may know as "Check Engine Soon". In either case, when you see the MIL, you know there's trouble ahead.)
(I'm deleting a long paragraph about some friends of his he called seeking comfort) Larry told me just before I left "Keep your eyes on the prize". And here I am, 2 weeks in, the feelin's gone, and I'm holdin on. My eyes are on the prize. Yea, though I walk through the valley of ty raggaeton hip-hop, I shall not want; I shall not waver; I shall not tell off my in-laws. My eyes are on the prize.
you're related to back2basics?I simply have to share. My brother just moved far away. I'm being vague to avoid hate mail from residents of his new home.
Gee Summers, that letter really sounds familiar to me, as if I might have written something similar a few years back. I'm gonna take a guess your brother is on the east coast? DC area possibly?
speaking of missing mexicans....facebook guy updated his status yesterday morning with a "gay" (as b2b would say) joke:
And that was the punch line. Get the out. I was almost livid. I mean, yes, this guy lives in small town middleofnowhere sville and probably can't tell the difference between flat bread and a tortilla, but oh my god. I bet he doesn't know that there's a such thing as a black mexican. And that mexicans can be jewish too. And to top it all off, people commented on his joke, saying it was hilarious and that "I love you facebook guy you're so funny. I love your racism." Umm..no.
/endrant
Ash you want that guy sooo bad don't you?
NO joke
isn't that joke from gran torino?
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
