Just when I thought I was ready to date again, I have this ing set back. The first thing that comes to my mind the minute she brings up her ex b/f is time my ex telling me she was seeing a guy 2 for months, and that she was leaving me because she wanted financial security that I couldn't provide. She did it with no regrets and so heartlessly.
I wanted to push these memories away when they re-entered my head last night. I didn't want that to be what lit my fuse. I did my best trying to deny it. The fear of having to say that moment still bothers me. That it still hurts like it just recently happened. I really thought I had progressed, but now I have doubts. I would take just being a passive aggressive jerk-off over being a passive aggressive jerk-off who is letting memories of his ex breaking his heart get to him, and making him rethink that the progress he made was positive. I'm scared.