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Meh
So there's a family with a dad, mom, and one son. One morning, after the mom kisses her husband good bye and sees her son get on the bus, she invites a man she's having an affair with over. While they're doing their thing in her room, the child comes home earlier than expected and hides in her closet to watch. Then, shortly after, she here's her husband getting home earlier than expected. She hides her lover in the closet until he can sneak out, not knowing her son is in the closet.
The son then proceeds to say, "It's dark in here."
The lover says, "Yes it is."
Son: "I have a baseball"
Lover: "That's nice"
Son: "Do you wanna buy my baseball?"
Lover: "No."
Son: "You know my dad is right outside, right?"
Lover (realizing what's going on): "Fine, I'll buy your baseball, how much?"
Son: "$150"
Lover: "Ok, you're really pissing me off, but I don't have a choice."
A few weeks later the same thing happens, and the son and lover end up in the closet again.
Son: "It's dark in here"
Lover: "Yes it is"
Son: "I have a baseball glove, do you wanna buy it?"
Lover (remembering what happened): "Sure I guess, how much?"
Son: "$350"
Lover: "Damn, you're getting a steal, but I guess you hold all the cards."
The weekend the dad says to the son, "Grab you glove and ball, we're gonna go play some catch."
Son: "I can't, I sold my glove and ball."
Dad: "How much did you sell them for?"
Son: "$500"
Dad: "I raised you better than that, you can't be ripping your friends off like this. Tomorrow, you're going to confession, and hopefully you get forgiven.
So they go to confession, and while the son enters the confession booth the dad waits outside.
Son: "It's dark in here"
Priest: "CUT THAT OUT YOU LITTLE , YOU'RE IN MY CLOSET NOW!!!"
Meh
...No
This is the only funny part about that joke
I was waiting for the fresh prince punchline and it never came.
Hey DoK, brah, did you hear about that one party?
Guess it's only funny when you're drunk the first time you hear it
And what are you talking about JT?
The best joke ever:
Women's rights.
touche.
For people who have never heard it, this one's a lot better in person.
Two cannibals are eating a clown...one of them looks up at the other one and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
What do you get when you cross PMS with a GPS?
A crazy who WILL FIND YOU!
I'm pretty sure I read this on a Popsicle stick
What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
-- A brunette with bad breath.
lol...never read it on a popsicle stick. If so, it'd be the funniest damn joke I ever read on a popsicle stick..those are usually horrible.I'm pretty sure I read this on a Popsicle stick
Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to get as close as he can to Ruth-type achievements. Before the playoffs last year, A-Rod went to a hospital and promised a dying kid that he'd ground out to second Base for him. And I was at the game, people, it's true - A-Rod pointed to second Base.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un- ing-believable!"
No, you don't understand . . . Chunks is my dog!
A grasshopper walks into a bar, sits on a stool, attempts to order a drink. Bartender says "hey, I got a drink named after you."
Grasshopper says "you have a drink named Steve?"
How many militant feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to suck my .
What's Moby 's Fathers name????
Papa Boner
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasaurass
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
Lickalotapuss
Wow those are all so damn old, can't believe I remember them
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