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OMG, I actually agree with ploto on something. If someone goes to the trouble to get you a wedding gift, the least your lazy ass can do is send them a short thank you note.
I am very tired of not receiving thank you notes for wedding gifts. I have sent about 7 or 8 wedding gifts for which I have ever received a note of acknowledgement, and it is getting very irritating. There is no excuse for not sitting down after you return from your honeymoon and working through this task. The person took a lot longer to select your gift, wrap it, send it, or deliver it than it takes you to write a couple of sentences thanking them for it. People are left wondering if you never got it or if you are simply ungrateful.
OMG, I actually agree with ploto on something. If someone goes to the trouble to get you a wedding gift, the least your lazy ass can do is send them a short thank you note.
Get over it or stop giving wedding gifts.
I was a groomsmen in a friends wedding in Houston a few years ago. He (or his fiance) picked out a very expensive tuxedo we groomsmen had to rent. Then we had to stay at this very expensive hotel for two nights in Houston as they wanted us all together and near them. We had to drive to and from Houston. Then add in a more expensive gift than we normally would have given. I think the whole gig cost us about $750.00. I think they finally sent thank you cards like 10 months later explaining the delay on just be so busy with their new life.
Ridiculous.
i hate that ing
what about those bas s who get married on a tropical island, OK meet yall there!
I'm regularly guilty of not sending thank you notes. I'd rather just not get gifts, but as it is, I probably have a few relatives who I've offended.
It's pretty ty for someone to like register at Macys for a wedding or something (ask you to give them a specific gift) and then not send a thank you.
I have a friend who got married in Mexico a couple months back and got all bent that about 2/3rds of his friends didn't go. First off, GTF over it, weddings are for girls to dream about and enjoy; your supposedly male ass should just be concentrating on maintaining a good enough alcohol buzz to get through the ceremony. Secondly, nobody gives a about your wedding to the point that they're going to happily plunk down $1500 in travel expenses. If people want to get married out of state, fine, but the minute they because nobody RSVP's they're assholes.
Last edited by balli; 09-06-2009 at 10:16 PM.
The trick is to never to never be liked enough to be invited to anything.
My fiance and I are getting married in a little more than a month. I already have thank you cards purchased because it is just how I was raised. We are getting married here in SA, and though we registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, we also registered at Target.
I am just really really pissed that initially I said that we would save and put together a wedding for around 7k, her mom laughed and said that it would be much more than that and that they would pay for everything, except for venue drinks, and something else (I forgot). I said ok, give me a budget, and despite my persistence, they never did. This was a year ago. I paid for my stuff and got it done in April. Then it started with them. they started saying that we had to pay for this, and that and they were running out of money. OF COURSE THEY WERE, they spent 1100 on a mariachi band for ONE HOUR, and 900 on freakin chocolate fountains that we didn't want (we wanted a fruit spread for 150, but oh no, their side of the family wouldn't eat the fruit so we had to sugar it up!). As it stands I am going to be putting about 7500 into this wedding while I had been budgeting only 5k for this whole year. If they would have told me that they were running out of money more than 2.5 months before the wedding, maybe I would have been able to do something about it. So the whole end result is I now have $0 for our honeymoon. I am freakin pissed, that is the only part (other than the marriage) that I have cared about. I have two options, I can take out a loan for this (horribly financially irresponsible), or I can sell all of my stock (which would piss me off).
I know that I just hijacked the thread a little, but I saw rant, and wedding in the same thread and had to go off. I am never EVER doing anything financially related with them again, they are really untrustworthy.
My Mom invited some of her friends to my wedding and they all gave me and my wife money "for starting out". I thanked them all personally at the reception. Later, my Mom told me they all got their panties in a bunch because I didn't send them all thank you notes. Sorry they got upset over a piece of mail but in the first place, I thanked them all personally. Second, I wasn't the one that invited them.
My wedding cost less than $3000. I didn't make anyone in the wedding party pay for a thing. I paid for the tux rental, bridesmaid's dresses, food, drinks, etc. One of my groomsmen (a friend for 20+ years) later told me that the wedding he attended as a groomsman one week later costed a mutual friend over 10 grand and mine was better. I don't know why but whenever I think about that it always makes me chuckle. I've had friends who invited me to weddings and expected me to pay big dollars to rent a tux, buy an expensive gift, all that. I always say "Sorry, I won't be able to make it." When they ask why, my answer is always the same: "I can't afford to help you pay for your wedding."
There is such a thing as courtesy. For all of these weddings, they were out of town and I have no way of knowing if they even got the gift that was sent. Most of the time I go through the wedding registry, pick something out, charge it, and have it sent to them. I have no clue if they ever got it. It would be simple, especially when someone has sent a gift to you, to let them know through a simple thank you note that you received it.
That is my favorite excuse of all. You are the ONE who received the gifts.I wasn't the one that invited them.
I was told by a bride that she only sent thank you notes to the people she invited and that it was up to her parents, the groom, and his parents to send thank you's to the people THEY invited.
And I was also the one that thanked each of them personally. So did my wife.
Ok, I will partially take back my original post. If you had to send it to them and not give it personally, some kind of acknowledgement is the right thing to do.
Y'know what my thank you note is? I give damn good gifts. When people are deserving I spend time, energy and money to give not just good, but great gifts...
That's how I show my appreciation for a good gift, I give one back. If anybody I know gives me a gift and doesn't get a good one back and/or a thank you note, it's because I'm not entirely thankful. In general I have almost all of what I really want or need; in fact, I'd rather not get gifts from people I wouldn't go out of my way to give a great gift to myself. From such people, a gift is a petty inconvenience and an unwanted bother.
I feel sorry for most people that get married... the gift is the most some of them will get out of it. So feel good... I for one didn't thank anyone.. most of the gifts were intended for my wife.. and now that we are separated.. I'm keeping them. Or most of them.
I won't thank her family. that.
I am sorry that your wedding was so taken out of your hands, Drachen. That seems to happen at least somewhat in every wedding that occurs- small consolation, I know!
Please don't let anyone's stupidity and what is most likely misguided good intentions steal any of the joy of this experience from you.
I wish you all the best!
And yes, I agree it is important to thank people for giving you a gift. I personally send out thank you notes as my way of showing appreciation. But I think that a thank you phone call is also a nice way of showing appreciation and is a better option for those who are not the best at writing cards, because some people are not.
well it kinda already is messed up because I am either going to have to skip the honeymoon, or I am going to have to make a financially stupid decision to go on it. This all doesn't even take into account that I don't know how the to get a bachelor party together. I really dont care about the wedding plans, it could have had unicorns and pink elephants for all I care, until it encroaches on me and the time I get to spend with my new bride. The wedding is completely unimportant, it is the marriage that counts.
Your best man should set up the bachelor party.
Good luck with the wedding and many happy returns to you and your new bride.
her father should be paying for the wedding. all of it.
you should not be arranging a bachelor party. the best man should do that.
your in a tough spot buddy, but just do you best to make sure your woman has a wonderful day and as for honeymoon, discuss it with your wife to be and either have a 'budget' honeymoon, or if it's really important to both of you and you want to go someplace special, do the dreaded loan for air and hotel, but don't go crazy and you'll be alright.
goodluck and congrats!
I always thought it was this way. Then the grooms family pays for reception dinner.
and thankyou notes are for chics.
they're just a big hassle frankly, but i understand the etiquette.
ploto, do your gifts have anything personalized on them to show that they are from you?
or are people just receiving packages with something from their registry and they have no idea who from...
He lives in Pennsylvania, oh well, I guess I will skip this too.
sons I saw a study not long ago that linked this exact situation directly to politics. The study consisted of 1,000 newlyweds couples and asked them two simple questions.
1. Did you send out thank you notes for your wedding gifts?
2. What is your political party affiliation?
the results showed that 411 out of the 1,000 couples did not send out thank you notes. It also exposed that for those who did not send out thank you notes the results were 77% Democratic, 14% Independent, 9% Republican.
sons isn't it funny how the Democrats always feel like they are en led to everything? How ya like that one Manny? ungrateful bas s.
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