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Your wife still takes you in public w/ her?
She sure catches on quick.
She never learns. It was pretty much on from the moment we walked in the doors. We started in produce and I begun handling all the cu bers. I would say things really loud like
"I bet I know why you want cu bers"
and
"Hey hun look at how this curves to the left"
Then I went and picked out some sausage while she hit the cheese and meat butcher. She saw me from far away and I started stroking the V&V and then pretended to lick the link up and down. The look of shock was probably enough but the lady in front of her thought I was looking at her not my wife so I got a few "WTF" looks.
Then I started pining for beer.
"look hun they got Shiner black. So warm and black and wet". Then I'd run my fingers up and down the bottle while rubbing the condensation all over my face.
For the grand finale I announced all the phallic looking objects as the old checker lady ran them.
"wow those sure are some long and firm cu bers"
"look at those long black and wet bottle necks mmmmm"
"that tube of ground turkey looks so thick and meaty...you like thick and meaty don't you hun"
By the time we got to car she had her rant all ready to go
"what the is wrong with you"
"your a ing child"
"you son behaves better than you do"
"that lady thought you were sexually harassing her"
on and on.
I just laughed and then turned up the radio.
Your wife still takes you in public w/ her?
She sure catches on quick.
This story is too predictable. You really need some new material.
So are your responses, pot.
So did those sausages you licked go through the checkout stand too? I notice you didn't mention them.
Gotta agree with your wife....you are pretty annoying.
I wouldn't take you out in public.
I'd prefer my time with you to be in private anyway.
This has to be a joke right? You didn't really behave that way did you? Man - if you did, not only would I have been mortified and furious, I wouldn't go out in public with you ever again. Why in the world would you want to embarrass your wife that way?
I really hope this is a joke thread...
I harass my wife to no end. I swear on my sons life that I truly honestly act this way in public. The licking of the sausage was priceless. Her look of fear and fright partnered with an ever so subtle desire to laugh is why I keep doing what I do.
The only thing that's truly predictable is the fact that you'll spend the rest of your miserable existence getting fatter and lonelier.
So did she hold out on you that night?
I wear the pants bro. I don't get held out on. I do the holding.
So is your love and I don't smoke pot.
But he DID look funny banging his wife with that LONG, THICK, CURVED cu ber shoved up his ass.
You sure do.
I'm all for sexually-suggestive jokes in public, so long as they're funny. So you fail.
Your obsession with me is flattering and frightening.You sure do
Why don't you step up to my shtick and post some pictures of yourself to put all these fat jokes to rest.
Well I do it to entertain myself so ultimately your opinion doesn't mean .
Im shocked your still married.
Deep down inside she loves my antics.
uh how old are you?
You're right I should relegate myself to being a boring old coon and just behave with dignity and respect in public. Loads of ing fun in that.
I would ask if your wife hides cu bers under her bed but from reading some of your other threads........I'd rather not.
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