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  1. #1
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    At what age did you guys got married?

    do you believe in setups or rearrange marriages?

    to those that got married young, did you ever thought about ur future financially wise?

  2. #2
    Owned by cats JudynTX's Avatar
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    I got married in my 30's, was the best thing I ever did. I'm glad I waited late in life to marry. I only want to do it once.

  3. #3
    Believe. CubanMustGo's Avatar
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    Married at 35 and life is great. Hard to believe we're closing in on 15 years together already - time truly does fly when you're having fun.

    Thankfully in the US, prearranged marriage is a rarity. I can't imagine it working out well unless one party is expected to be totally subservient to the other - and that's not a marriage, it's indentured servitude.

    And although we didn't marry young, planning prudently for the future and saving money should be a part of any couple's plan.

  4. #4
    Seeking the quiet mind desflood's Avatar
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    I married at 20 (he was 26). It was very young and a lot of people thought we should have waited, but we knew. Had our 11th anniversary earlier this month. Life is mostly pretty good around here.

  5. #5
    Owned by cats JudynTX's Avatar
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    Married at 35 and life is great. Hard to believe we're closing in on 15 years together already - time truly does fly when you're having fun.

    Thankfully in the US, prearranged marriage is a rarity. I can't imagine it working out well unless one party is expected to be totally subservient to the other - and that's not a marriage, it's indentured servitude.

    And although we didn't marry young, planning prudently for the future and saving money should be a part of any couple's plan.
    I married at 20 (he was 26). It was very young and a lot of people thought we should have waited, but we knew. Had our 11th anniversary earlier this month. Life is mostly pretty good around here.
    Congrats!

    My 5th wedding anniversary is tomorrow.

  6. #6
    Seeking the quiet mind desflood's Avatar
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    Congrats!

    My 5th wedding anniversary is tomorrow.
    Ditto.

    I do wish that somebody had told me beforehand that the "7-year itch" is a very real occurrence, though. I would have been prepared

  7. #7
    Owned by cats JudynTX's Avatar
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    Ditto.

    I do wish that somebody had told me beforehand that the "7-year itch" is a very real occurrence, though. I would have been prepared
    It's real?

    Kidding......we've been together for 8 years.....passed that bump in the road with flying colors.

  8. #8
    GFY I. Hustle's Avatar
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    I am all for rearrange marriages. I had to rearrange mine. Got me a new wife almost two years ago after I found out the first one was defective.

    I got married the first time at 20 and we were definately not ready but we were both stupid kids. It lasted about 4 years and now I am married again with a step son a 1 year old and another kiddo on the way while she is a APD pig.

  9. #9
    Goodwill Ambassador spurs_fan_in_exile's Avatar
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    Got hitched at 22, been with my wife for a little over four years now. Two of my older brothers got married at that age as well and been with their spouses for 10 and 8 years respectively.

    I'm of a mixed opinion on the arranged marriage stuff. While none of my student workers have been a part of one I've got a few international kids whose parents were. In some cases they ended up bordering on indentured servitude as CubanMustGo put it. In other cases it worked out well in large part because there was such a stigma in their native cultures around divorce that it forced the two people to make a real effort in the marriage. In a country with a divorce around 50% I have to think that there are plenty of failed marriages out there that just boiled down to people not wanting to put in the work.

  10. #10
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    thanks for the replies

    ive never been in any relationship b4

    umm parents trying to set me up with some girl back home native country....21/22yr old yr, apparently all her relatives is here in my country..reason why she wants to migrate here...while knocking back a few americans who have proposed or arrange a marriage with her....i dont feel like having a burden on my shoulders to look after a person, subservant etc...

    i remember pakidan had a thread like this how his parents were setting him up also....

    i dont wanna rush into things and being unsociable means i dont know any girls....im 28yr old, dunno if i meet the right one, but rearrange marriage is something i had always consider......

  11. #11
    Shutty.. Bukefal's Avatar
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    thanks for the replies

    ive never been in any relationship b4

    umm parents trying to set me up with some girl back home native country....21/22yr old yr, apparently all her relatives is here in my country..reason why she wants to migrate here...while knocking back a few americans who have proposed or arrange a marriage with her....i dont feel like having a burden on my shoulders to look after a person, subservant etc...

    i remember pakidan had a thread like this how his parents were setting him up also....

    i dont wanna rush into things and being unsociable means i dont know any girls....im 28yr old, dunno if i meet the right one, but rearrange marriage is something i had always consider......

    What's your native country?

    Anyway, Im sure you'll find the one

  12. #12
    GFY I. Hustle's Avatar
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    His native country is Kazakhstan... very nice

  13. #13
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    What's your native country?

    Anyway, Im sure you'll find the one
    its vietnam

    and im in australia...

    ive had a few offers for rearrange marriage from parents friends and , but i never took them seriously cause there was no need for it, while all my friends most of them are in serious relationships and getting hitch, while me = nothin.

    i have a few stories of friends who get setup etc, all they did was went over there was either root the girl and leave, or ended up marrying the person. Maybe its standards or im too good for this , thats why i dont go ahead with setups....

    so what is love when you never experience it, even with all the soap dramas you understand it, but the responsibility and commitment is just too much. I dont know if you can really fall in love over time with someone in a rearrange marriage...cause its either ur a subservent to the person too look after them when living together...

    do ppl still look down on ppl who get into rearrange marriages or mail order brides?

  14. #14
    Shutty.. Bukefal's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess most look down on those people. Anyway, you shouldn't get yourself in rearranged marriage. You should just try to find a good girl, which will happen if you really want to. Love exists and there is someone for everybody.

  15. #15
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess most look down on those people. Anyway, you shouldn't get yourself in rearranged marriage. You should just try to find a good girl, which will happen if you really want to. Love exists and there is someone for everybody.
    they tell me if im interested, all flights and accomondation or the trip will be funded by them....so in other words, spend time to know each other and then if you want you can just married.

    yeh there are stories of ppl doing this just to get a green card into a better country for a better life...i got a friend who did this, he couldnt get a chick in his country so he goes over to vn and gets setup by a friend to get married, dude ended up falling in love with her cause he couldnt get any and was desperate for a wife.

  16. #16
    Believe.
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    ive never been in any relationship b4
    We have something in common.

  17. #17
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    We have something in common.
    knew a troll would appear....

  18. #18
    GFY I. Hustle's Avatar
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    They root chicks? Is that like saying they bone them?

  19. #19
    Shutty.. Bukefal's Avatar
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    They root chicks? Is that like saying they bone them?

  20. #20
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    They root chicks? Is that like saying they bone them?
    yep

    my other friend did it, was setup with this girl, he didnt know she had a kid, so he just shags her and doesnt go through with it....the lady that set it up or sponsoring the marriage would not like it if she heard about it...hence my friend tells me not to tell them hahahaa, he goes it was the best sex he ever had with a milf...im like dude shes 18, thats not milf yet. The ex-bf found out about it and wanted to beat up my friend when he was staying at their place while banging his ex-gf/wife hahahahaha


    I think my other mate is going to marry that setup chick, cant wait to tell him that my other mate banged his wife b4 he married her.

  21. #21
    I don't have limits sonic21's Avatar
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    I'll get married next summer, i'll be 26. We've been living together for 8 years now.

    A few marriages in my family are arranged (mainly older members) because my mother's family is indian. Forced marriages almost always fail. Arranged marriages are different, some couple really care for each other. It could become a successful marriage.

  22. #22
    Cinnamon Girl mrsmaalox's Avatar
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    Yvonne
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    I don't really think people look down on arranged marriage when it's a cultural thing. A business arrangement is something else.

    I got married at 24, had 4 babies right in a row. Now 15 yrs later, when it's good it is sublime; but when it's bad---it's really, really bad (like worse than anything you can think of). But having the kids makes all the work, sacrifices, totally worth it.

  23. #23
    Forum Official Personal Life Coach BacktoBasics's Avatar
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    Lots of immaturity going on in this thread.

  24. #24
    4 Star Asshole Strike's Avatar
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    I was 22, she was 21. We're now getting divorced. Marrying her was definitely a bad decision.

  25. #25
    Eh, Fuck It. easjer's Avatar
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    Eliza S.
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    Got hitched at 22, been with my wife for a little over four years now. Two of my older brothers got married at that age as well and been with their spouses for 10 and 8 years respectively.

    I'm of a mixed opinion on the arranged marriage stuff. While none of my student workers have been a part of one I've got a few international kids whose parents were. In some cases they ended up bordering on indentured servitude as CubanMustGo put it. In other cases it worked out well in large part because there was such a stigma in their native cultures around divorce that it forced the two people to make a real effort in the marriage. In a country with a divorce around 50% I have to think that there are plenty of failed marriages out there that just boiled down to people not wanting to put in the work.
    To clarify SFIE: I'm older, so I was 25 when we got married. We've been married for 4 years, but have been together for 8 in January. We had a long engagement.

    I don't think I was too young, and obviously didn't think SFIE was too young, either. It's been pretty good - I don't think most couples would survive what we have over the past year. I feel pretty confident that we have a solid foundation and genuine respect and admiration for each other.

    Regarding arranged marriages - I do actually know of two. They were working just fine last I heard, but it was definitely a cultural thing. They were not subservient in those marriages, but I think that had to do with so much exposure to American cultures. There was a basis of respect for each other, budding friendship/companionship, and I suppose there was some attraction. I don't know if they loved each other or not, but I tend to think love can be overrated anyway (if you are talking about the soap opera emoting sort of love, because that comes and goes - I am definitely always 'in love' with SFIE, but I always love him). I think in some ways it takes more work than a love match and in some ways, less work. You have to be able to communicate honestly with the other person and you have to like them and not mind spending time with them. Otherwise, on earth.

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