Are you better or worse off then you were a year ago?

[Strike]

Not overstepping at all. It's something that is under consideration and that we have definitely looked into (along with surrogacy). Adoption is not an easy or inexpensive route though; I think a lot of people don't know what a process adoption is or how much it costs. Our preference would be for an infant domestic adoption (no preferences to sex or race), though if enough time passed we would certainly consider adopting an older child. It seems counter-intuitive that adoption is a difficult process, given how many kids seem to be unwanted, but there it is.

Before we could even consider it, we'd have to clean up our finances more (pay off the credit card, ac ulate far more in savings, have repairs done to our house) and I would likely need to lose a fair amount of weight to get with a really good agency. The homestudy and financial approval process can take months, even a year or more, and then the time after that for matching. And matches can fall through, because the bio-parent chooses to parent after all, or other issues arise. It can be really heartbreaking, and I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that rollercoaster.

Additionally, the new doc thinks that there isn't a specific issue with me being able to have children and carry to term. The four pregnancies have all been really different in terms of their ending, and there is no common thread between them. This last pregnancy - Gabe was healthy throughout, and there were warning signs that something was wrong with the placenta that another doctor dismissed. She thinks there is likely nothing that could have been done (except to try and stop labor, which the hospital did not do, and it may have been too late by the time I got there, and it may not have worked anyway). We're going to do some testing just to be sure there is nothing that is potentially contributing to placental malformation (which would likely be fixable by surgery if there is something, but she doesn't think there is), but mostly . . . it's been pretty luck, in her words (too bad these odds couldn't help me out with the lottery, huh?).

Given that, and given the monitoring that I'll have for the next one and given that we have no difficulty getting pregnant, we're going to continue to try for biological children for now. If we go through a late loss like this again, we'll consider adoption more closely and working more towards that goal.

I was adopted as an infant so I have an idea about how many hoops prospective parents have to jump through. My grandparents adopted me because my birth mother was too young, too immature and too doped out to be a parent to me. Even then, it was a long, expensive process.

With so many unwanted children out there, as well as the amount of people who want children but can't conceive, it saddens me how difficult it is for good people to be able to save a child from the system. Being adopted was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

Anyway, I'm glad you've considered it. But if you're able to have a family naturally, go for it. You and your husband are good peoples. Keep trying.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

The way in which you measure this question, the standard you use, says a lot about you.

For me, better - I'm grateful for every extra day I'm gifted to live this wonderful life of peace, prosperity and wonder. I could go into that in great detail, but what's the point when it's all summed up in one simple phrase... life is good.

Actually, I will mention one thing: 6 years ago, during my second trip to San Antonio, I nearly killed myself on the first jet-lagged morning by stepping out in front of a bus (we drive on opposite sides of the road, and I was still disoriented). Some latent animal instinct, or ethereal gust of wind, stopped me, and I remember being toppled backwards onto the grass verge of San Pedro Avenue and sitting there as the bus whooshed by and my heart beat at 180 beat per minute. Since that day I've felt that every extra day is a gift from the Universe. I think that moment profoundly altered my life. So there you go.

[blizz]

better....promoted...making more $$.....being a father is better every day...my daughter is so much fun....it's great.

[DieMrBond]

For me, the year has been pretty up and down... in this year so far;

My daughter turned 5, and was put up in school. She is currently reading at an age 8/9 level. The kid is flat out smart.

My eldest son turned 4, and is an incredibly good looking kid. He did NOT get that from me, more his mother.

My youngest son turned 2, and is now talking like crazy. His favourite thing is to say 'daddy cool', 'mummy cool'. I also taught him to fist bump, high five, throw a peace sign and generally be a giant dag.

My wife reverted back to severe depression, due to the rough that has happened in her life, along with a healthy dose of PND. She eventually went back on a new antidepressant (lexapro) after a 4 year gap without any. After a few weeks, they upped her dosage. She started getting really tired, really angry, lost all drive to be awake/have sex/interact with anyone/etc. Started getting massive migraines. So, she stopped the antidepressants, and within 2 days while driving had the effects of a stroke, and had to be rushed to hospital. (Blue arms, loss of breathing, pain in left side, etc). She developed a severe stutter, and light phobia. 3 days later, 2 mris and a cat scan later, it was discovered she had a tumour behind her left eye. 2 days later, we were finally told it wasnt the cause of the problem, and sent home. 3 months later, she has finally stopped stuttering (it was a long and painful process) but still cannot handle light very well at all (sunglasses on constantly outside, and cannot drive at night due to migraines from the lights).

During that time, while supporting her as best i can, my biggest flaw came up. I am REALLY forgetful, and it appears to her as though i am not listening. This caused a blow up, and she kicked me out of home. Two problems, she is my best friend and we have young kids. We have managed to keep the kids unawares, by me going there every day after work and seeing the kids until they are in bed (i do everything once i step in the door, cook dinner, put kids to bed, read stories, baths, brush teeth, play, etc - always have, its part of their routine). Then travelling up to my parents house after they are asleep.

Needless to say, these last few months have been probably the worst of my life.

Thankfully, in the last few days we have made some serious progress in repairing our relationship, which has been great.

On the work front, i got a 10% pay rise (always good news), we weathered the 'recession' fairly well, have had some seriously busy and stressful months lately with busy jobs. We are a multimedia company, specialising in site specific inductions (safety, working at heights, etc) for companies in mining, industry, etc.

I am hoping to wrap up the year on a high note, by getting another payrise, getting back 100% with the misses, and keep on enjoying my kids. Fingers crossed.

[PM5K]

Well I heard B2B is getting 100 bucks more per month on his Lone Star card so he's doing better.

[ehz33satx]

I wonder how that kid who scratched his face all up is doing? Still living with his parents and beating himself up?

[Höfner]

Worse. I've got 365 less days to live.

[Jekka]

I have no idea - too many variables up in the air right now for me to know if I'm worse off or not. If I pull off graduating a semester early just to not have a job waiting for me, then things definitely aren't going great.

I was adopted as an infant so I have an idea about how many hoops prospective parents have to jump through.

Ditto. It was expensive and crazy in the early 80s when I was born, but my parents were still surprised to find out how much the cost of the process went up with the same agency 20 years later. It's doable, but they definitely make it harder to adopt more than one.

[angel_luv]

I still have a lot of things I want to accomplish of course, but I have worked hard and made good decisions, and am better off and wiser than I was this time last year.

[angel_luv]

Easjer-

My mom I am certain would be happy to talk to you about her experience adopting me as well as her experiences as a foster parent, if ever that is something that would interest you.

I would love to see you as SFIE adopt because I know what a world of hope, joy and love you will bring into all your childrens' lives.
I grew up with foster siblings so know how much it would mean to a kid in need of a home to find one with you and SFIE. It would be like winning the parent lottery for them.

[DarkReign]

As I'm applying to grad schools and facing the idea of living outside of California for the first time since I was a toddler, however, I'm certainly curious as to how I will answer this question a year from now. I hope it will still be positive, but I'd be lying if I claimed not to be nervous about the upcoming change.

I'd pay money to see a life-long Californian, feminist and career student's adventure into the real world.

[CuckingFunt]

I'd pay money to see a life-long Californian, feminist and career student's adventure into the real world.

Why, exactly?

[David Bowie]

Hmmm. Exactly a year ago today I was let go from a job I really loved. I was taking Seroquell (for anxiety and OCD) at the time, which made things a lot better then they had been the previous year and a half. I've had small jobs sinece then, but nothing permanent and nothing I really enjoyed. I am still unemployed. I had a seven moth relationship, where there was talk of marriege and children. But I broke it off for better or for worse. I spent Halloween with the ex and realized he was seeing someone else, which made me a little bit jelous. I've tried a ton of medications for anixety all of which I had to discontinue due to side effects. Overall, a ty year. But better then the one before.