So I haven't been hanging out with my two best friends lately. To sum it up, I had been getting irritated with one of them because she would constantly correct me or get angry or in a bad mood everytime I would say a sexual joke she didn't like. Just to clear things up, I don't always crack sexual jokes but I do every now and then because I just can't help it. Anyway, it got to the point where I got really fed up with it. For example, one time I made an innocuous comment about how me and her boyfriend (my other best friend) were gonna hit up the bars and strip clubs without her because we both turn 21 before her. I was definitely joking - I wouldn't do that to her and neither would her boyfriend. I said it with a smile and was laughing. Well, she blew the up and yelled and cussed me out. This happened while we were on a road trip and it made things so ing awkward the rest of the trip. Anyway, similar instances although not to that extent happened numerous other times and I just got sick of it. There are also some other things that went down that I did not like. I didn't hang out with them for about two months over the summer. Then we started hanging out again. And then we quit again; nothing really happened to cause me to quit hanging with them the second time, I think I just remembered the that had gone down and it made me angry all over again.
This weekend the girl messaged me and asked why I had been ignoring them (hadn't called or returned some texts) and I pretty much told her all of the above. I said I was irritated with how things went down when I said things she didn't like and that I feel like I have to watch what I say or that I'm walking on eggs s. I cited the incident on the trip because it really did surprise me that she talked to me that way - after I had paid for their gas and food, and let them stay at a condo we have. Well, she took it in a way that I didn't even like her anymore and that I didn't want to be friends with her. And that's not the case at all. Truth is, they are both like family to me. We used to do everything together - we would literally hang out everyday, nearly all day. She told me that I shouldn't ditch her boyfriend just because I didn't like her and pretty much said "See you around I guess...".
I felt awful. She asked me to be honest and I was and then I felt horrible for telling the truth. I didn't mean it that I was done being friends with either of them, because I want to be friends with them still. Like I said, I consider them family. That's how close we were (are?). I ran into them today (lucky me huh!) and you can imagine how awkward it was. I brought up the conversation because I didn't want them to think I was gonna hide behind text messages when I am being upfront about things. I apologized and said that I felt like the entire day. I told them that I still wanted to hang with them and be friends and everything (which is the truth). They both told me it was ok several times. I told her that I shouldn't crack jokes like that if she didn't like it - that it wasn't a hard task and I should respect it. I felt unsatisfied after the conversation because it seemed that they wanted to avoid the issue.
So Spurstalk, what do I do? Should I bring it up again or let it die? I still feel like it needs to be talked about more but I don't want to bring it up and bug them about it. Yet, I don't want that silent tension there. And believe me, it will be there. Where do I go from here?
Quit being lame. Matter of fact, this whole situation is lame. You're a 3rd wheel, the odd man out. Go hang out with your single friends where you don't have to watch what you say. You're not married to these two, but that's how it sounds. Get a divorce.
First off you've come to the right place. I will get in depth later because I am watching the game but basically my advice will end with you sleeping with one of them.
i suggest changing your maxi. you whine more than the girlfriend. if she can't deal with it, then don't do it in front of her. just lay everything out there. if everyone can deal with it, cool. if not, move on. sounds like there's more to the story though, or you really do whine more than the girlfriend.
I think you and her should come to a compromise. If she can't see that she was wrong for ing you out (which is MUCH more crude and classless than a dirty joke, by the way), then obviously there are other issues here that haven't been addressed.
The fact that they were so ungracious for your hospitality is a major red flag. Sounds like you're being taken for granted. Have you tried maybe just talking to your guy friend to see what he thinks about the situation? Chances are he'll have better odds of getting through to her than you will.
You should joke more and more often to the point that she either gets over it or is the one to break the friendship.
Don't change what you do just to please your "friends". Sounds like she/they are selfish. Take the above advice, go hang with some other friends, being the 3rd wheel blows. Nip it in the bud now.
She clearly is being y to you as a protection mechanism. She really wants to have rough sex with you.
Sex!!!!!
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