Gtown's Intro to America: A handy guide for Foreigners.

[Ignignokt]

First of all, i'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming to the land of freedom and opportunity. The United States of America is an experiment of many cultures, yet indivisible and universal in our love for freedom.


But first, As a fellow american, I have set up some guidelines to which some of you should follow to better assimilate to your new path.


Mexicans

1. We americans love our yards and neighborhoods. Please don't park your trucks on your st augustine, don't play your music too loud.

2. When you buy a Chevy, don't add any decals, bug deflectors or Catholic insignia. If your chevy looks like a power ranger weapon, you've over done it.

3. In america, our toilets are heavy duty and can handle tissue paper.




Chinese

1. Can you cut hair? give me a call at (512) XXX -XXXX. 5 dolla, no perm or layering, i just want a enough on the top and use clippers on the bottom to fade or taper.

2. Please do, bring in as many bootlegged DVD's with multiple movies, minus Gigli or any movie with Jennifer Lopez.

3. If you're a girl, good for you! American men will definately find you attractive no matter how bad you look. Sorry Guys.

4. If you plan on having kids, don't be an asshole and give them piano lessons at age 2, let them have a childhood and allow them to mature, thereby giving us time to catch up on our music chops. Thanx.


Indians, Arabs, Pakis

1. Wear deodorant. Cmon, I don't get how you wear polos to work out yet don't use deodorant.

2. Wearing sandals is pretty gay. Don't ruin a nice set of khakis and a decent shirt by wearing some opened toe sandals with your fungal nails sticking out. DSW is your friend.

3. Don't worry about getting confused for Mexicans. Most americans know that Mexicans would never wear Armani silk shirts to go pickup a drivers liscense at the DOT, nor wear counterfiet JLO glasses to a movie theatre, nor be utter complete s and order the Veggie sub at subway or a bean chalupa no meat at taco bell. You'll be okay in that regard.


The rest.

We don't have many channels here for soccer by design. Get with the program and watch a real tactical sport like Football. If you think that's bad.. well you're out of luck because your progenity will have no choice but to join the club.

Thanks.

[Greg Oden]

Gtown >>> Dookie crew

[Ignignokt]

Thanks broseph

[Rogue]

there are native americans still using the word "vampire" on its original/literal meaning?

[Rogue]

3. If you're a girl, good for you! American men will definately find you attractive no matter how bad you look. Sorry Guys.

that's sad IMHO. I've got plenty of them around the hood where I live but never found anyone attractive to me, does it mean I've got something wrong with my metabolism or secretion?

[TDMVPDPOY]

anothing thing i see with ppl who come from the land of the free,

why do they deny the rights for ppl who dont share the same values as them in the land of the free.....

[smeagol]

Gtown = Mexicano

[EmptyMan]

I don't get how you wear polos to work out

lmao! Couldn't be any more true.

[Ignignokt]

that's sad IMHO. I've got plenty of them around the hood where I live but never found anyone attractive to me, does it mean I've got something wrong with my metabolism or secretion?

Wait.. are you a chineese girl?

[Ignignokt]

Okay, now i understand.

So Rogue, you're chinese and you don't find chinese girls attractive? Man you are a rare species. To me, asian woman aren't my thing, but i'm mexican. I mean there's nothing wrong with not liking your own kind.

But, every asian guy i have met brags of how their women are best in the world. Strange..

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Okay, now i understand.

So Rogue, you're chinese and you don't find chinese girls attractive? Man you are a rare species. To me, asian woman aren't my thing, but i'm mexican. I mean there's nothing wrong with not liking your own kind.

But, every asian guy i have met brags of how their women are best in the world. Strange..

Not so strange - having lived in Japan, I know that Asian men generally prefer submissive women, and Asian women are culturally pressured to be submissive and doting on their men. In contrast, Western women are fiesty and uncooperative, and thus less attractive to Asian men. Makes perfect sense.

BTW, your OP is highly offensive, but that's your choice in the Land of the Free.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

Is it just me or is Troy McClure the most off-the-mark troll ever invented in spurstalk history? This dude popped up a few weeks ago and in no way has said anything remotely Troy McClure-esque.
It's like when TheTruth started a Patrick Bateman troll and didn't even know the correct lines from the movie or book.

[Ignignokt]

Troy McGriffin

[Ignignokt]

i redboxed terminator salvation last night, i was pretty happy that they didn't have the token foul mouth foreigner English mercenary guy who was like a straight up badass like they do in all those military/war/resistance themed movies.

[Leetonidas]

3. In america, our toilets are heavy duty and can handle tissue paper.

That is so true. I hate when my relatives from Mexico come visit. I go in the bathroom and there's ty toilet paper all piled up in the trash can. Like WTF man, this is America! We take huge s here, so of course we have strong ass toilet water flow.

[lefty]

First of all, i'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming to the land of freedom and opportunity. The United States of America is an experiment of many cultures, yet indivisible and universal in our love for freedom.


But first, As a fellow american, I have set up some guidelines to which some of you should follow to better assimilate to your new path.


Mexicans

1. We americans love our yards and neighborhoods. Please don't park your trucks on your st augustine, don't play your music too loud.

2. When you buy a Chevy, don't add any decals, bug deflectors or Catholic insignia. If your chevy looks like a power ranger weapon, you've over done it.

3. In america, our toilets are heavy duty and can handle tissue paper.




Chinese

1. Can you cut hair? give me a call at (512) XXX -XXXX. 5 dolla, no perm or layering, i just want a enough on the top and use clippers on the bottom to fade or taper.

2. Please do, bring in as many bootlegged DVD's with multiple movies, minus Gigli or any movie with Jennifer Lopez.

3. If you're a girl, good for you! American men will definately find you attractive no matter how bad you look. Sorry Guys.

4. If you plan on having kids, don't be an asshole and give them piano lessons at age 2, let them have a childhood and allow them to mature, thereby giving us time to catch up on our music chops. Thanx.


Indians, Arabs, Pakis

1. Wear deodorant. Cmon, I don't get how you wear polos to work out yet don't use deodorant.

2. Wearing sandals is pretty gay. Don't ruin a nice set of khakis and a decent shirt by wearing some opened toe sandals with your fungal nails sticking out. DSW is your friend.

3. Don't worry about getting confused for Mexicans. Most americans know that Mexicans would never wear Armani silk shirts to go pickup a drivers liscense at the DOT, nor wear counterfiet JLO glasses to a movie theatre, nor be utter complete s and order the Veggie sub at subway or a bean chalupa no meat at taco bell. You'll be okay in that regard.


The rest.

We don't have many channels here for soccer by design. Get with the program and watch a real tactical sport like Football. If you think that's bad.. well you're out of luck because your progenity will have no choice but to join the club.

Thanks.

Pffft

Sorry bro, but I've been to the U.S, and I saw a lot of stinky dirty white Americans