Knicks attribute poor play to haunted hotel
By J.E. Skeets
Ball Don't Lie
DON'T LOOK IT IN THE EYES, DANILO!
The New York Knicks are thrilled to be out of Oklahoma City this morning, but it has little to do with suffering one of their worst losses of the season to Kevin Durant and the Thunder on Monday night. No, the real reason they're excited to "get the out of Dodge" is because they need a fresh pair of skivvies.
For two days, several players had trouble sleeping because they were convinced that their downtown hotel, The Skirvin Hilton, is haunted.
"I definitely believe it," Jared Jeffries told Frank Isola of the New York Daily News. "The place is haunted. It's scary."
Eddy Curry claims he slept for only two hours Sunday night because he couldn't stop thinking about ghosts roaming the hotel. (Man, what is it with Curry and ghosts? Remember when a haunted rock band took over his UStream feed?) Word has it the Knicks' big man spent most of his time in Nate Robinson's room, curled up in a corner, shaking with fear. (Slight exaggeration, but click that link.)
For years, guests staying at the Skirvin Hilton have reported strange noises and ghost sightings.
As the M. Night Shyamalan tale goes, the hotel's original owner had an affair with a maid that led to a pregnancy. To avoid scandal, the maid was locked on the top floor where she went crazy, gave birth and then jumped out a window killing herself and the baby. Since then, guests have reported hearing a wailing infant, seeing naked female ghosts and one man claims he was sexually assaulted by an apparition.
Thankfully, no Knick was violated.
We think.
The dark man tells tales of the wild African animal called the lion, who is king of the jungle. We have heard tales of how this magnificent haired cat fights fiercely and brave. The lion fears no one, no animal, no man, no rain or thunder. And when these lions come to the land of the red people, okla homma, they battle like true cats. And when I say "lions" I mean the New York Knicks. And when I say they "come to the land of the red people, okla homma, they battle like true cats" I mean when they go to Oklahoma City to play the Thunder, they act like real pussies.
Don't be so hard on them. Ghosts are scary!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Awesome stuff! Love it!
I wanna know what fake Mike D'Antoni has to say about this.
it must be the ghost of Isiah Thomas
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