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Ok, what happened? Did you get into your first major argument?
I am sure there is a lot of wisdom to be had here, so let's have it.
I want to know about the first year of your marriage, since that is the one Bo and I are in.
1) If you could go back and give a piece of advice to yourself in the first year of your marriage, what would it be.
2) What is something you are positive you did right in your first year of marriage?
3) What is something that is not worth worrying about in a marriage?
4) And finally, what winning characteristic do you feel you and your spouse bring to your marriage ( it can be something different for each of you.)
People in LTR's feel free to answer as well, if you want.
Ok, what happened? Did you get into your first major argument?
did Bo catch you taking your car to jiffy lube?
Ok, what happened? Did you get into your first major argument?my first thought.
lemme guess.....bo left some clothes on the floor and you ended up being mad at each other for hours over it.
even better
No, Bo and I had our first major argument long ago and we've had a few since then. I think it comes with the territory of being closely connected to someone.
The reason I want to know is that I want the benefit of perspective from people who have been there and made it through that.
I take things very seriously in all areas of life and so probably read too much into things when it comes to marriage as well.
I'll take all the good advice I can. That's true about me in regard to everything.
So educate me!
Live and learn.
1.) Just have fun. I worried too much about things that I could have taken care of later.
2.) I told her everything. I didn't want stupid coming out after a couple of years and then getting into fights for keeping it a secret.
3.) The past
4.) I make her laugh. She keeps things in perspective.
I like to joke and have fun with her and she helps me to remember the long term and not just 5 minutes from now.
1) If you could go back and give a piece of advice to yourself in the first year of your marriage, what would it be.
Hug and carry her around more
2) What is something you are positive you did right in your first year of marriage?
Love her and listened to her
3) What is something that is not worth worrying about in a marriage?
mistakes and the past
4) And finally, what winning characteristic do you feel you and your spouse bring to your marriage ( it can be something different for each of you.)
a happy loving heart
What is with the vagueness?
Everyone on here loves chiming in with their two cents- except when it is requested, it would seem.
do you have separate bank accounts?
...I'm going to guess no....
Thanks very much I Hustle and Miami Heat!
In our first two years of marriage, we were still in the "honeymoon" stage.
But you'll never hear this enough. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
That's the best advise I can give you.
I think you are on a different level than AL
1) "don't do it!" "run" ""its ok to leave!" all come to mind.
2) kept a second bank account, that great idea went away year two.
3) what to eat.
4) we argue well, oh and we both well, infact i think the two are correlated. i have plenty of complaints about marriage, but sex isn't one, and i also think my wife is hot, so that helps me keep the crazy lady around. if you two start arguing during sex and its not some role playing thing, then its time to move on.
Actually, yes we do.
I am very independent minded from having lived on my own for so many years, basically fending for myself.
It was hard enough for me moving into an apartment with Bo where every room and every piece of furniture was ours and so nothing was just mine anymore.
So I have maintained my own separate bank account from which I contribute to our household expenses.
I have not been ready to merge that yet.
12) lift the seat back up after you are done.
whoa. I don't know why that surprises me....
I can tell you this.......if it hasn't already, soon or later you will fight over money.......whether you spent too much or he did, or you don't have enough etc.
(as with most anything I guess) just be honest and fair with each other about your spending habits and it will be easier.
so Jeff just whizzes with the seat down?
No dork, the toilet lid stays shut. After he does his business, he closes lid.
On a very serious note this is something you will need to address AL. I am not opposed to the seperate accounts but the whole independent mind set needs to be dealt with. My first marriage went down the drain because both of us wanted to be married but also do our own thing. She didn't want a daddy to answer to and I didn't want a momma to ask permission from.
Now my wife knows that she can go out with the girls and I can chill with the guys and it's not so much a permission thing as it is a common courtesy thing. In marriage you become one and there is no more independence. Not saying that you don't need your alone time every now and then but your marriage comes first.
see I don't like that.No dork, the toilet lid stays shut. After he does his business, he closes lid.
It's easier for me to have women lift the lid. Saves me a precious 2 seconds per trip.
As you know, LJ and I never argue. Probably the biggest reason for that is because neither one of us get caught up in the trivial stuff. There are very few daily things that matter in the big picture. I am not answering your questions directly, but here are some keys.
Key #1: Don't Nag
I mean really... does it matter if your husband leaves his dirty clothes on the floor (for example)? No -- it probably takes you 3 seconds a day to pick them up and put them in the laundry for him. So there's really know reason to nag about. Guys hate nagging. Most women nag. It's really unnecessary and no one benefits.
Key #2: Have a Money Plan
One thing that couples argue most about is money. If you aren't rich, then you need to have some sort of budget. Otherwise, you are going to end up looking at your bank statement one day thinking "What the heck are we spending all our money on?" (and then blame it on your spouse). You don't need to have a line by line journal, but you should have a general outline of your money goals and make sure that you are on the same page.
Key #3: Make Time
Life sucks sometimes. There's a lot of pressure from work, family, whatever. But every single day you should slow down and make time for each other. That doesn't necessarily mean sexually (however that's a factor), but just some actual couple time. Whether that means taking a shower together every morning before work, laying in bed watching stupid shows together before you sleep, or whatever. You have to make a little effort to make some time.
I kinda agree with Blake.
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