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Learn to love it because it sounds like she isn't changing.
Is there any point in telling my girlfriend the truth about my feelings about her weight gain?
My gf has put on about 40 lbs over the 6 months we've been together. She carries it very well, but it's definitely noticeable. Her legs and thighs are already bigger then mine, and her eating habits haven't changed....
She constantly asks me if I find it unattractive, and I have been reassuring her that I'm just as attracted to her as I was before.
But that's not true. While she definitely still turns my crank, I do find her new figure less attractive. Recently she tried on an old skirt and it didn't fit, which brought on an abortive fit of extreme dieting (lasted about a day).
I told her that she should come and work out with me (I am extremely active, playing basketball), that we can work together to come up with a sensible diet and exercise plan, and although she agrees, nothing really comes of it.
While she is very successful in life so far, she is an extremely lazy (if talented) person, and doesn't really do anything unless she has to. Should I nudge her more? Is there any point in telling her the truth when she asks? My feeling is that it will cause her +++++anxiety and trigger an irrational attempt at extreme dieting and exercise, not to mention insecurity about our relationship and herself.
Learn to love it because it sounds like she isn't changing.
Lazy AND successful? She's a keeper.
tell me about it, she also plays Xbox live more then i do
Last edited by FalleNxWiZarDx; 02-08-2010 at 03:30 PM. Reason: typo :p
How much do you weigh?
Is your girlfriend's mom a big woman?
If this isn't thread of the week, I don't know what is.
my kinda woman
tell her. there's no use spending the rest of your life married to someone you are totally unattracted to for the rest of your life just because you are too big of a pussy to do something about it. 40 pounds is VERY excessive and something should be done regardless of your relationship, if not for that then for her health. Even if she was a thin 125 before, 165 is too much for a young adult female, assuming she's around normal height and weight before the weight gain.
There are two ways to go about this. If you really want her to lose the weight, tell her. She will lose it after she breaks up with you and decides that she wants to lose it to spite you and show you what you are missing.
If you want to stay with her, learn to love the woman inside the woman.
When I read this thread, I want more.
You should be very careful when talking to your GF about her weight. There is almost no way to tell this in a sweet normal way, without getting a wave on you afterwards. What you can do is be silent on this, but take her out to do things, sporting together, jogging, snowboarding, swimming etc... And it's fun and it's good for exercise and losing weight.
I find that honesty is always the best policy…If your girl asks; do these pants make me look fat? Tell her no, not anymore fat than you are…
And while some men find big rear ends & huge thighs attractive, you find it a bit repulsive…Girls would rather have honesty over flattery any day…
So he should just keep his mouth shut and spend the rest of his days with a woman he's not attracted to and will probably only get bigger and bigger as time goes on? I know it's a sensitive subject, but is it really fair to the OP? If the chick feels that she can always fall back on the OP no matter what she looks like, she will never have any incentive to get back into any kind of shape but round.
wait another 3 months. If she loses anywhere from 7-8 lbs in one shot in a hospital bed, then it's probably something else, pops.
Did you ever answer this question???
I know you say your "active" and all but I have seen "active" people with a few extra lbs.
Just stop banging her. She'll either get the hint or put on more weight, which gives you an even easier out.
Or bang her daily, nightly, and ever-so-rightly. Good way to lose the weight is to it away.
Nope, he hasn't answered this yet.
If the gf has bad eating habits she could quickly grow to an unhealthy weight.
The longer a bad habit continues, the harder it is to break.
If it were me, I would rather be told after I had gained 30 pounds then have people keep silent so I continue and end up 130 pounds overweight.
Some weight gain is to be expected with age and other factors such as childbirth.
But with the gf it sounds as if maybe she is eating due to stress or boredom and her weight gain can and ought to be managed better.
Be careful though in your approach. Weight comments, even those that are valid and kindly meant, are very hard to take.
The idea of planning out dates where fitness is involved seems a good one to me.
But make the dates something she would enjoy doing- like walking around an outdoor mall once a week if she likes to shop. Then go out to eat some where that has good healthy food.
Touché
Yeah I know its a ty situation. On one side you want to tell her and of course its good to tell and to be honest, but on the other hand, if he tells it, its indeed sensitive and he already has a feeling that it will trigger a anxiety, insecurity and extreme dieting, so if he does tell, maybe it will get so much worse and he would have regret it that he said it in the first place.
Here is what you do. Leave a trail of twinkies from the bedroom to the street. Once she has picked up the scent and starts to devour them one by one start to follow her. Don't worry because she will be so into eating the twinkies that she won't even notice you. Once she is outside then quickly shut the door and lock it! Make sure you have a really heavy door or it is secured because more than likely she has grown a horn by now and will ram the door splitting it like paper.
Your love must not be thicker than her weight gain.
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