I resigned from my job at the mall

[thispego]

I feel so badly for Bo, he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.

Having said that, you don't resign from a job at the mall, you just quit.

ROFLROFLROFL I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE SAME THING

[angel_luv]

Just sounds like a bad idea. He's going to be working his ass off to support you and himself, and you're going to be screwing around trying to be an extra in a movie. How long before he starts to resent you for that?

There are a lot of other ways this can go wrong as well.

I understand and appreciate your perspective. All the above are questions I have wrestled with and more importantly are ones I have posed to Bo.

I will be retaining my Spurs job, so I will be working part of the year. And Bo has a job in which if he has my extra pair of hands to help it will be all the more profitable to his business.

Now that I will be home, I will be able to cook our meals which will save us a ton of money since we won't feel compelled to dine out all the time.

Being a movie extra actually pays so I would make money doing that. I don't mean being an extra like one in a crowd of a hundred or whatever. I would work with an agency that sends select people to shoots and those people get paid to be there.
It may not work out for me, but I want to try it.

If anything, I am too responsible. I am certainly not going to strain either Bo or our finances. I would never leave or take any job unless Bo was in complete agreement with me.

I left the mall on good terms and it is not like my salary there was so extravagant that I could not make the same elsewhere if necessary. We have thought this through.

The way I see it, there will always be a stack of good reasons to stick to the status quo. But to go somewhere new you have to venture into the unknown.

Bo and I think that this a good move for us as a family. If we are wrong, we will scrap it and do something else.

What we do know for sure is that my working so much has been an incredible strain on Bo and I. Our current set up has not been working for us and we are both excited to make this change.

Until now Bo and I never got a full day off to spend together because we both have had crazy work schedules. Though we are off from work on Sundays, we have had to use that day to run all the errands we couldn't do during the week because we were at work. With me at home, all Bo will have to do is go to work ( and he loves his job) and come home and relax.

Yes, quitting a job is a risk. But sometimes a risky move pays off big.

[Crookshanks]

Good for you angel_luv! Building a strong marriage is much more important than money. It sounds like you and Bo have really thought this out - and since he's 100% behind your decision, that's all that matters. God will bless you, and you'll probably be amazed at the differences in your marriage, your emotional well-being, and your life in general.

Good luck with learning to cook - it still surprises me how many young women today don't know how to cook. Maybe it's a by-product of mothers working out of the home so much in the last couple of generations. My daughter is a great cook - and my son-in-law is very grateful to me that I taught her so well! One of my daughters-in-law is learning to cook - so I'm making a notebook of all my son's favorite recipes, as well as other family recipes. She's made a few, and she's doing a very good job - I'm proud of her.

[angel_luv]

Thank you, Crookshanks.

My mom is an excellent cook. But since she is a missionary in China and is only in town twice a year ( for a month each time), I can't call her over to help me.
But my father-in-law and Bo's granny are both fantastic cooks, so I can learn a lot from them.

Mom says I used to be a great cook when I was a teenager. But it has been a good decade since I have made anything from scratch.
I have lived on my own and worked so much that take-out was more convenient for me.
But hopefully cooking skills are inside me just waiting to be resurrected.

[balli]

Having said that, you don't resign from a job at the mall, you just quit.

This. Resigning is something disgraced CEO's and board members do. Not cashiers.

[baseline bum]

Since you're into studying the bible and will have some free time, you may want to check these courses whose video is posted online:

Yale: Introduction to the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible)
Yale: Introduction to New Testament History and Literature

I can't testify as to these specific courses; I have only watched the physics, astronomy, and economics ones, which are all of exceptional quality. However, they're Yale courses, so at the least they should be extremely interesting and challenging.

[DPG21920]

How come women are the one's that get to quit usually, while the men have to work? Do men not want to pursue their dreams and run households and spend time with their family while not having to juggle jobs?

I know it probably stems from a long line of women not working, staying home and facing problems and prejudice in the workplace, but it is still an interesting social phenomenon.

[florige]

This. Resigning is something disgraced CEO's and board members do. Not cashiers.

Plus I didnt read anything in her post about recieving a million dollar payout for running her company into the ground and getting rewarded for it unless I missed that part.

[florige]

This. Resigning is something disgraced CEO's and board members do. Not cashiers.

Plus I didnt see the part where she said she got a 25 million dollar payout. I think angel is leaving on good terms.

[florige]

Woo hoo! Bo must be making the big $$ now.

Go back to school, imo.

I agree 110% about the school thing. She could get out and be making tons more $

[florige]

Woo hoo! Bo must be making the big $$ now.

Go back to school, imo.

I agree 110% about the school thing. She could get out and be making tons more $ And they can live very comfortably. But its their decision to make. And none of us knows the details of what her husband makes or their monthly bills. If he approves of it thats really all that matters. PM's post were funny but harsh. Lol

[angel_luv]

Since you're into studying the bible and will have some free time, you may want to check these courses whose video is posted online:

Yale: Introduction to the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible)
Yale: Introduction to New Testament History and Literature

I can't testify as to these specific courses; I have only watched the physics, astronomy, and economics ones, which are all of exceptional quality. However, they're Yale courses, so at the least they should be extremely interesting and challenging.

Thanks very much!

[oh crap]

You can always try to pursue your modeling career with your extra time.

[angel_luv]

You can always try to pursue your modeling career with your extra time.

The only time anyone has used the word model in reference to me is model citizen. But thanks for the vote of confidence.

[ploto]

Devoting time to your marriage or being more involved with your church are both things that I would applaud, but these 2 comments are the ones that concern me.

Bo has a job in which if he has my extra pair of hands to help it will be all the more profitable to his business.

I would highly suggest against you getting involved like this in his job when you do not work for the company. If this was your own private business, then it would be fine, but you should not be organizing his mechanics or butting your nose into his work. Sorry. You do not work for them and could cause more problems than good for him. It is also important for you to have an iden y outside of him. It allows you to bring more to the relationship.

Being a movie extra actually pays so I would make money doing that. I don't mean being an extra like one in a crowd of a hundred or whatever. I would work with an agency that sends select people to shoots and those people get paid to be there.

This does not seem like a sound plan or even one that will generate much opportunity in San Antonio. It also reminds me too much of other aspirations you have posted for which you were never willing to seek training or education. It seems to the reader here that you are always looking for some new job or new thing to make you happy, but you have not been willing to invest the time it takes to fulfill it. I remember a time when you wanted to work with counseling teenagers or something, and then I found out that you were not even in college to study it. You wanted to be a writer, but you would not go to college to study it. It begins to look like playing around instead of actively working toward an attainable goal.

I think that you have posted lately like you have seemed unhappy, and I do not see how this works toward making you feel more fulfilled. The part about having time with your husband is great, as is cooking, but the rest not so much.

It is obviously your decision, but I would much prefer to see you saying you are going to school during the day and working part-time at night at the AT&T. You can still have time with your husband and you would be finding serious direction. It would be good for you now, especially since I believe you were home schooled, and when your kids are grown, you will be so glad you did it.

[Whisky Dog]

You don't necessarily go to school, but pursuing a serious interest would be really good to give you something to go after. That's what helped me when I felt like I was just floating. I have a degree and a career but it just didn't feel right so I started pursuing a business that I love with my spare time. If you hit it seriously and plan well it will be rewarding.

[angel_luv]

Devoting time to your marriage or being more involved with your church are both things that I would applaud, but these 2 comments are the ones that concern me.




I would highly suggest against you getting involved like this in his job when you do not work for the company. If this was your own private business, then it would be fine, but you should not be organizing his mechanics or butting your nose into his work. Sorry. You do not work for them and could cause more problems than good for him. It is also important for you to have an iden y outside of him. It allows you to bring more to the relationship.



This does not seem like a sound plan or even one that will generate much opportunity in San Antonio. It also reminds me too much of other aspirations you have posted for which you were never willing to seek training or education. It seems to the reader here that you are always looking for some new job or new thing to make you happy, but you have not been willing to invest the time it takes to fulfill it. I remember a time when you wanted to work with counseling teenagers or something, and then I found out that you were not even in college to study it. You wanted to be a writer, but you would not go to college to study it. It begins to look like playing around instead of actively working toward an attainable goal.

I think that you have posted lately like you have seemed unhappy, and I do not see how this works toward making you feel more fulfilled. The part about having time with your husband is great, as is cooking, but the rest not so much.

It is obviously your decision, but I would much prefer to see you saying you are going to school during the day and working part-time at night at the AT&T. You can still have time with your husband and you would be finding serious direction. It would be good for you now, especially since I believe you were home schooled, and when your kids are grown, you will be so glad you did it.

Wow, that is a lot to throw at a person who already made a life altering decision.

Where to begin, where to begin?

First of all...Bo's work: I would not be fixing cars. Rather I would be helping to compile information packets, making copies, maybe doing some date entry. None of the tasks would be difficult- just time consuming. So, I would be saving him time and enabling him to give more one-on-one time to his clients.
And all this would be only if/ when Bo asked me. Bo is perfectly capable of handling his business without me, but I think all of us have days when we would be grateful for another pair of capable hands to assist us.
I am glad to be available for Bo if/ when he needs me.

There is some film work in Austin. Not as much as Hollywood of course, but some. Again, this is not something I am trying to make a living doing. I just think it could be a fun and profitable ( since it pays) hobby.

As for counseling teenagers, you can mentor youth without a formal education. For example, I work with the youth at our church. I am one of the adult staff members for the youth newsletter, for which I am also a writer.
Now that I am not working two jobs, I have time to do outreach like being a Big Sister. I have had the application for some time but have not had the time.

Going to school is not a desire of mine. Bo and I both want me to stay home with our children and so at this time in my life I am not pursuing a career. That is not to say I will not work, as I do at the Spurs. But I am not going to go to college for four years and become a teacher or the like because by the time I finish that and get a job, it will be time for me to stay home with our kids.

Bo and I also have an interest in doing foster care at some point, which again would go more smoothly if I were at home so I could be available always to our kids.

While I appreciate your concern, I think it is for each individual to decide for themselves what is fulfilling for them.
I believe this was a good move for me- granted only time will tell. I pray a lot about the decisions I make and trust God to lead me, as He always does.

[angel_luv]

You don't necessarily go to school, but pursuing a serious interest would be really good to give you something to go after. That's what helped me when I felt like I was just floating. I have a degree and a career but it just didn't feel right so I started pursuing a business that I love with my spare time. If you hit it seriously and plan well it will be rewarding.

What I am after is devoting myself to my household.

I feel like my priorities have been way out of whack. I work all the time and take care of my house and husband when I have the spare time.
And my desire is for the reverse to be true- that my husband and household, our ministry, and our extended families come first and that I add other life aspects/ pursue other dreams as my remaining time allows.

So that is my focus and my goal, for the present.

Bo and I will handle the future when it gets here.

[leemajors]

The film scene in Austin, and Texas in general, has nearly shriveled up and died since other states and countries offer lower taxing for studios and production. This has started to change recently, but the whole field is very cutthroat in Austin. I wouldn't depend on or even hope to get a toehold at this time if you're not in Austin full time.
In addition, having a child or children these days without both parents working is well nigh impossible. The costs for even one child are more than you could imagine - diapers, formula, food, doctor visits and vaccinations, and insurance are all very expensive, and depending on one income stream bogged down by three people on what I hope would be company sponsored insurance would make things terribly difficult. Even with my company paying half my insurance for just my daughter and I, I still pay out $~160 a month on that alone. When I was married and could have added my wife to my insurance, that would have tacked on another 100 monthly at the very least. Luckily she had her own job and got her own, albeit inferior (without dental and vision) for around $60 a month. And that's with a pretty good price break from my employer's very good benefits. There are other, cheaper options available, but the deductibles just weren't worth the risk.

[Crookshanks]

angel_luv - don't let these naysayers discourage you. I completely understand your desires and motivations. And it IS possible for families to make it on just one income - it just depends on what their priorities are. It's just that so many people don't understand the christian life and that our desires and priorities are different. Raising children is the greatest job you can have - with the longest lasting rewards.

You just keep doing what you know is right. I know you and Bo prayed a lot about this before you made your decision - so, as I said before - God will bless you and HE will provide for you!

[DPG21920]

I think it is fine what you are doing, but Ploto is right. If you want things to go beyond a hobby, then you have to be willing to put in the work. But if that is not your goal, the point is moot.

I just have one question. If Bo came to you and asked you to work so that he could carry out the same plan that you have, would you do it?

[ashbeeigh]

The way these threads end up is why I've stopped even talking about my personal life here.

[angel_luv]

I think it is fine what you are doing, but Ploto is right. If you want things to go beyond a hobby, then you have to be willing to put in the work. But if that is not your goal, the point is moot.

I just have one question. If Bo came to you and asked you to work so that he could carry out the same plan that you have, would you do it?

I will do whatever God tells Bo and I to do when we pray together. So if God led us so that I worked and Bo stayed at home, I would trust God and do that. I am not saying it would be an easy thing for me.
But I have learned to trust God- no matter how unconventional His instructions to me.

That said... before Bo and I got married, when we were discussing our future together, we agreed that he would work and I would stay home with the kids.
So that is the plan we intend to stick to... UNLESS God tells us differently.

Bo is very good at his job and has been promoted at an impressive rate. I would be surprised, given his success, if he did not want to continue working.

But anything is possible.

[DPG21920]

I get it, I was asking more hypothetically to piggy back my thought on why it is usually the woman that does not work and the man that does from a social perspective.

Thanks for the reply, tell Bo I said hi.

[Whisky Dog]

What I am after is devoting myself to my household.

I feel like my priorities have been way out of whack. I work all the time and take care of my house and husband when I have the spare time.
And my desire is for the reverse to be true- that my husband and household, our ministry, and our extended families come first and that I add other life aspects/ pursue other dreams as my remaining time allows.

So that is my focus and my goal, for the present.

Bo and I will handle the future when it gets here.

If you're the type of woman who truly finds joy in doing that then it will work out great. If you're the type that gets a bit stir crazy and doesn't find the joy in making a home then it will drive you nuts. If you're the first then I'd say it's a good decision you're making.