Joke thread................

[TheManFromAcme]

Did you hear about the Rabbi who performs free cir cisions?

















....all he takes is tips

[CosmicCowboy]

A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson!'

[lebomb]

A man was eating breakfast at a diner.

The waitress comes over to take his order...........asked him what he would like.

He said............well for starters, I would like a cup of coffee that sat on the burner too long and pours like oil.

............next I would like my eggs overcooked......like a frisbie, my bacon burned to a damned crisp, my pancakes undercooked..........pretty much runny in the center.

Lastly, could you smudge your lipstick on your face, smear your mascara across your checks, and ruffle your hair up into a birds nest look.


The waitress said, sir......why in the world do you want THAT???


He said...................... because Im home sick.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Aw, come on. What happened to the ethnic jokes?

[benefactor]

Aw, come on. What happened to the ethnic jokes?

James Bowie and William Travis were hanging out at the Alamo door talking. Suddenly, they see the Mexican army approaching. James taps William on the shoulder and says, "Damn boy, how much concrete were you planning on pouring today?"

[TinTin]

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in an oven

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl says hoohoo hoohoo
A black owl says hoo dat hoo dat