I had the day off, so...
Jefferson and Walton called dibs
Various reactions to Amar’e’s nude picture
by Trey Kerby
Yesterday, the accompanying photograph — Amar’e Stoudemire playing naked pooljumpers for ESPN Magazine’s “Body Issue” — made the Internet rounds. Naturally, there are quite a few things to think after laying eyes on this now-legendary snapshot. Here are some of those thoughts.
* Hmmm … OK … soooooo …. yeah.
* I never would have guessed that such a large human would have such tiny nipples.
* In the diving business, this is what they call the tuck position.
* This isn’t going to score well with the judges. Pointed toes are a must. Also, clothing.
* Apparently, we’ll never really know whether or not Amar’e is actually Jewish.
* (“Seinfeld” joke.)
* (Anchorman joke.)
* Well, at least his knee looks healthy.
* Let’s just be thankful that Amar’e is playing sound on-the-ball defense for once.
* He must work out.
* Don’t worry too much about this, Knick fans — it could be worse. For instance, Eddy Curry.
* Amar’e Stoudemire might be the only guy on Earth who wears goggles for basketball and not for swimming.
* B.E.E.F. — Balance. Eyes. Elbow. Fall in to a pool totally naked while holding a basketball in one hand.
* Looks like there will be no more complaining about all the weird clothes he wears before and after games.
* This is one of those pictures that stays seared in to your brain for life. No, not because he’s totally naked with just his hand covering his private bits, but … well, yeah it’s because of the naked thing.
* Unknown PETA executive: “You mean to tell me we could have got this guy totally naked and we just went shirtless? A rare miss, marketing department. Someone bring me a tofurkey sandwich and some fake blood. I’m feeling protest-y.”
*********************
Amar'e Stoudemire may do another magazine cover... but clothed this time
By Kurt Helin
Few images get seared into your brain -- whether you want it to or not -- quite like Amar'e Stoudemire's picture for the ESPN The Magazine's body issue. I think Trey Kirby at The Score said everything I wanted to. And a few things I didn't want to.
But, you know, his knee looks good, right Knicks fans?
Well, that may not be Stoudemire's last magazine cover, according to Alan Hahn of Newsday.
Stoudemire is one of a few athletes in the running to be on the cover of Vogue.
Where, we imagine, he will be dressed in the finest of men's garments. Which is cool, but mostly we're just happy he's dressed.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
