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That's totally ed. Sorry man.
True. Having friends that won't allow you to wallow in self-pity is a plus too. As for the meds, are you still on them or was it just a short term fix?
I personally have had a couple rd's with SSRI's and I'm wholly against them for the most part. I prefer Benzos (like Klonopin), but only as a short term solution.
That's totally ed. Sorry man.
To each his own.. but I took one Klonopin before game 4 of the '07 finals and never took one again. Just got me really tired more than anything.
I used to love it (don't really take them anymore outside of recreational use)...it was the perfect benzo for me. Valium, Ativan, and the others made me too drowsy. I could take one 0.5 Klonopin and go through my day anxiety-free w/o the drowsiness.
I forgot to mention I passed out during the damn game. In hindsight I shouldn't have given up on it so quick and should've had half the pill like you said and try that out.. Oh well
that you need to go shoot her and her husband... now.
Hi, you like Spurs?We began talking marriage about 3-4 months into the relationship. Level of passion was pretty even; some relationships are in trouble long-term if one person is way more into the other person and that is not recipocrated.
Her behavior had not changed recently, there was no pulling away. There was nothing to indicate that the relationship was in trouble. She told me repeatedly throughout the course of the rel'ship that it was the best rel'ship she had ever been in, I was everything she ever wanted in another man, she sat her parents down and told them she wanted to marry me and explained to them how I was different from all the other guys she'd been with, and her parents wanted to meet my parents for dinner. She was raised by her mom and stepfather, and I became the first guy she ever dated that she introduced to her biological father, who she has a very arms-length relationship with.
I've got an email from her two weeks before she broke it off where she says she had a great time with me over the weekend (it was pretty mundane by our standards) and I am an amazing man. I've got another email three days before where says "I was just thinking about you. Love u" etc. Two weeks before the breakup she tells me that one of her friends from her wild partying days that had met me told her that she had seen some of the losers she used to date, she was lucky to have me, and she told me that she agreed. She was not behaving like somebody who had mentally checked out and was looking for the exits.
Last Saturday morning she texts me and asks to come over. We had a wedding for a friend of hers to go to that night and I texted her back since it was 10 am in the morning and pointed out that we would have several hours to kill and wanted to know how she wanted to fill that time. She texts back that she'll be over soon and then we can talk. That got my radar up. I called her four times and she refuses to answer the phone.
She comes over, sits down on the couch and the first thing she says is that she can't love me the way she thinks I need to be loved and want to be loved. I tell her that I've always felt loved by her and I've never felt like I wasn't getting what I wanted or needed from her. She says she woke up this week with a funny feeling that something didn't feel quite right and I tell her that it sounds like jitters and cold feet, those are normal feelings, the thought of marriage is scary to me as well at times, and it doesn't necessarily mean our relationship is doomed.
She says she's never been in a relationship longer than a year, that this is what she does, she can't be in a relationship right now, she needs to be single. I point out that she has told me repeatedly that before she met me, she was lonely and single, and after we became a couple, she felt incredibly happy and loved. I asked her what had changed and if she still loved me. She said she still loves me, I'm everything she ever wanted in a man, but she can't get married, she can't be in a relationship, she has to be alone. She tells me she doesn't want to waste any more of my time, she doesn't want me to go to weddings I don't have to go to and don't want to go. (By way of background, we had four weddings for friends of hers this fall. We'd already been to one, Saturday was supposed to be the second, and I had never expressed resentment over having to go to the weddings. I told her that I loved just being with her and I didn't care what we were doing). The whole thing lasted about 15 minutes and then she says she can't stay any longer and she has to leave. That was last Saturday. We've both maintained radio silence since then.
I don't know if I should have done this or not, but there will be a bouquet of Gerber daises (her favorite) arriving at her apartment tomorrow with the message "I love you. I miss you. My heart aches for you. You're my Rushmore." When I woke up today I was overcome with feelings of powerlessness and helplessness, along with missing her terribly. I'm not going to call, text or email her, that's all I'm going to do for now. I figure if I have any shot at getting her back, I need to give her some space to figure out what she really wants and if she actually misses me. If I bombard her with texts, emails and calls, she'll just retreat even further. Plus I'm a real mess right now and need to gather myself before I interact with her at all.
So, as to the accusations of cheating, when you're in a relationship with the woman that you think you're going to marry, and everything seems to be going great, and then you get blindsided with a breakup that does not include a satisfactory explanation, yeah, your mind races and you consider every possible angle, including cheating. I can't rule it out. It's inconsistent with the person I've known her to be. And if that turned out to be the case, then that would be even more painful than this thing already is, and I'd have to walk away, since how can I expect her to be faithful in a marriage when she can't be faithful at this point of our rel'ship? I suspect cold feet and jitters (we hadn't set a date but we both kinda assumed anywhere from late 2011 to early 2013), but who knows? Nothing about what she did makes any sense.
Probably the only reason I haven't completely turned into a basketcase is that a small part of me harbors hope that we can reconcile, but I'm trying to stay grounded and prepare for the worst-case scenario that she won't come around.
a woman is capricious like London's weather, both like a baby's face. she said she felt happy and loved when he was with you but insisted she couldn't be married to you. She really cannot get married to you because you are fated to be celibate, findog, and probably so is she.
maybe you can still love each other but that's definitely not the style of life God wants you guys to live. God make you a celibate and it would only bring you griefs and frustrations if you strive against your fate.
I don't normally condone murder but this needs to die imo
he a molester but Kell's that's my right there...Bump his all the time...
here's another one for mid...
I know you feel like you got no explanation, but this is it.She says she's never been in a relationship longer than a year, that this is what she does.
I knew a guy- just a friend of a friend- but every relationship he had lasted a year. He would date the girl for a year and everything would seem great. Then, right at that mark, when I suspect it started getting more serious, he wanted it over. He never had the guts just to break up with the girl because he did not want to be the one who was seen as ending it. Instead, he would start treating the girl badly. Every time, she ended up breaking up with him, and he was off the hook both for the relationship and for the responsibility of ending it. This happened time and time again. It was what he did. One he was even engaged to.
Holy J almighty. Some of you guys sound like a bunch of ailing pussies.
WAH WAH WAH... My girl left me.
WAH WAH WAH... I'm still hurting.
WAH WAH WAH... I haven't recovered.
What the happen to some of you? You're men (koriwhat?). GROW a ing PAIR.
Findog, homie, that ho of yours is gone and she ain't coming back. Like Rick Patino once said about the "Legend"...he ain't walking through that door. Well, your ain't walking through that door for you. So, get the over it and get yourself a new piece. Now you know better.
And for the rest of you pussies: never fall hard for a chic but if you so do...be sure to build up a good bullpen just for times like these.
Peace.
If it ain't the new age sensitive "man" dropping by to say o.
Why don't you go start some bull thread like how your eyeliner doesn't go with your nutsack like you're prone to do.
I'd have mailed it back with anthrax.
We haven't had any contact in the two weeks since it happened. I haven't called, texted, emailed, im'd her, shown up at her apt or office.
As far as no contact after a breakup goes, I read that you can either just not contact them without any explanation, or you can tell them that you won't be contacting them and leave it up to them. So, with that in mind, I mailed her a letter that she should have gotten yesterday. I basically just said that if she feels she's better off apart than together, then I respect that, but that some of the things she said to justify it were hurtful and unnecessary. And despite that, I still love her and am open to reconciliation if she is willing to do couples counseling, but I can't wait around forever for her. And if she's not willing to do that, then we can't remain friends and we can't remain in contact.
don't be such a got
yeah..now you just look like a total loser. the fact that she hadn't contacted you in 2 weeks meant that she dumped you and already had someone else, and didn't ever intend to contact you back. now you're just "that" guy.
also she was probably laughing her ass off as she read the letter
Dirk Nowitski(poster) story makes me want to never take a girl serious.
the fact that it was on the same date means she probably used the exact same reservations, as they made for his wedding. If i was him i would have staked my claim on those places
that sucks man. I haven't really said anything about your situation yet, but I feel terrible for you.
tbh I think the best thing to do is pretend she never existed. In your mind that will never happen, but as far as what you do in your everyday life, live it like you never met her. I went through something somewhat similar, though we never were at the point of getting engaged. It's going to kick your ass every single day for at least 6 months. But imo the best thing to do is just say " it", accept it as a life experience, and move on with your life like she was never a part of it. Eventually it will get better.
tbh I'd take back the "open to reconciliation" part. If someone is capable of hurting you that badly, she doesn't deserve any part of your life, even if she regrets it later. Don't EVER take her back. I know right now in the moment you don't agree with me, but it's the best thing.
So?
I see post after post in this thread concerned with how Findog "looks" if he does anything other than kick this girl to the curb.
Why are so many people concerned with how they "look"? What does he really lose by making himself clear to someone whom he obviously cares for?
Even if the odds are small that a reconciliation is possible, only a fool would say they are zero. And I will never fault a guy for trying in good faith to keep something good together. Love requires risk. No risk, no love. Though I take it from quite a few responses in this thread that many guys here are not interested in risk nor love.
I can't take her back like this didn't happen. I don't trust her right now to not do it again. That's why I would insist on couples counseling. In the meantime, I have nothing to do but look forward and not worry about what she's doing.
tbh it looks like I have another password to change.
You can't take her back under any cir stances, man. But it's good that you're trying to move past it all.
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