The Onion continues to love Duncan.
Tim Duncan Spends Free Time Trying To Get Wrongfully Incarcerated Man Off Death Row
MANSFIELD, OH—Spurs center Tim Duncan spent all his free time this week studying law books and building a case in an attempt to exonerate a death row inmate wrongfully incarcerated at Ohio's Mansfield Correctional Ins ution. "For more than 10 years, Randolph Morgan has been imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, mainly because of the testimony of an unreliable witness, one Cheryl McInerney," said Duncan, who has devoted the past three offseasons to earning a law degree at San Antonio State and in August passed the bar exam in both Texas and Ohio. "I have met with medical examiners and several forensic pathologists, and they concur that the available DNA evidence is more than sufficient to prove the innocence of my client." Duncan went on to score points against the Los Angeles Clippers Monday night before flying to Ohio to persuade the governor to issue a stay of execution for Morgan.
My favorite is still the one about Duncan calling out mathematical angles whenever he shoots a bank shot.
The Onion Duncan archive.
Tim Duncan Makes Citizen's Foul Call
Tim Duncan Calls Out Geometric Angle Needed To Make Bank Shot
Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett Get Into Argument Over Who's Taller
Tim Duncan Releases Decade Worth Of Pent-Up Emotion After Spurs Preseason Loss
Tim Duncan Staring At Wall Right Now
Tim Duncan Forwards Story About Particle Accelerator To Spurs Teammates
Tim Duncan Sends Belated 'Great Game' Card To Celtics For February Defeat
Tim Duncan Rooting For Cavaliers For Good Of NBA
Tim Duncan Delivers Heartfelt Speech On Fiscal Responsibility During Spurs Victory Celebration
Tim Duncan Begins Summer Job At Apple Genius Bar
Tim Duncan Offers To Drive NBA Players To Polling Place On Election Day
Tim Duncan Offers To Do Taxes For Entire Spurs Team
Tim Duncan's Sincere Apology Confuses Referee Enough To Eject Him From Game
Tim Duncan Fires Up Teammates With Calm, Moderated, Three-Hour Pep Talk
Tim Duncan Hams It Up For Crowd By Arching Left Eyebrow Slightly
Tim Duncan Sends Out 3-Month Warning To Inform Spurs Of Upcoming Season Opener
Tim Duncan also works on campaign for drug dealer to become DA!
Wait, that was real?
Holy balls!!
lol
San Antonio State? ha
Pft! Like Tim never smoked a dubie.
lol thinking he's still a drug dealer and not mentioning the other spurs supporting him.
At least it's not the South Houston Ins ute of Technology.
I didn't realize Tim was so litigious.
Mansfield Correctional is the abandoned prison they used for Shawshank.
Hey how bout that.
Some of those "articles" mentioned Duncan leaving the Alamodome when they were at the SBC/AT&T Center.
FAKE!
no such thing as san antonio state
eric you sir are a bad ass for speaking the truth i thought i was the only one in here not salavating over mr HOODLUM!!
This should be merged with the "Spurs Focused On Execution" thread.
http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165221
Ok seriously Tim Duncan at this point has to be the author of these articles.
You laugh. The University of Houston built a campus in Clear Lake. They actually named it the Clear Lake Ins ute of Technology. Somebody pointed out that the acronym might be a problem, and they changed it before it had spread too far.
Edit: The setup for jokes was almost limitless:
Will their mascot be a man in a boat?
Will the student center be called the G-Spot?
They'll offer an advanced degree in women's studies.
Last edited by GSH; 11-03-2010 at 08:44 PM.
No kidding.The setup for jokes was almost limitless:
I love it!
Usually The Onion is not so subtle. This could actually be true, if not for the San Antonio State business. They got me!
Hilarious!
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